Chris the Human
by TheGoldenApple10
Summary: In the war-torn streets of his town, Chris finds a portal in a burning house. Wounded and dying due to a gunshot wound, the portal he falls into leads to the mythical land of Ooo! Without any hope (or desire) of returning to the previous Earth he once knew, he decides to live his days with Finn and Jake! Contains swearing and violence. Current Pairing: OCxMarceline
1. Chapter 1: The Portal

Explosions. That's all I heard. Clutching my iPod and charger, I dropped it in my shorts pocket. _Idiot. There's people dying and terrorists and you bring your IPOD? _I thought to myself. Jumping over a fallen tree, I kept sprinting to the town. Hearing gunshots, I turned and looked. A dead person fell out of a window and a man in a gas mask holding an AK-47 was at the top. He looked at me. I tried to raise my hands to surrender, but he didn't care. Raising his gun, he opened fire. Diving behind a car, I heard the bullets shatter the glass and tires with bullets. Hearing him curse in some other language, I stared to run. Seeing a police car on fire, I tried in panic to sprint past it. I failed. It exploded, and launched me through a house window.

Coughing, I looked around. My vision was blurred around the edges, and the house was burning down. In terror, I tried to stand up, but failed, feeling an intensely sharp pain. Slowly I looked at my leg. My leg had a large blood splotch on it, and it was dripping down. There was a red hole in the center. I let the dread hit. I was shot. Turning around, I saw some...weird portal open up. It was like a medium-sized purple portal. "Don't have anything to lose...Might as well walk through it..." I muttered to nobody in particular. I slowly limped towards it. Halfway there, my leg gave out. I crawled towards it, and I flopped, like a fish out of water, into the portal.

I landed on grass. I fell about five feet in the air. Coughing up some blood, I saw the portal close. Moving my head, I looked around. _This is a beautiful place to die_, I thought to myself, and smiled, then started to blur out. Soon everything went black, and my hoarse breathing was fading out. At the brink of unconsciousness, I heard a boy's voice. "Jake...Jake! I need your help! Come over here!"

_Finn's P.O.V._

I looked over at the person lying in front of me. He looked human, I think. The dude was seriously messed up. I studied him. He had gray sneakers, blue shorts, and a White T-Shirt. His whole body looked messed up and broken in a sense, but the leg dude. His left leg was in bad shape? This isn't... "Finn? Finn!" Jake stood next to me, looking worried. "Yeah, homie?" I asked him. "We need to help this bro. Let's bring her to Bubblegum's," Jake said. "Okay, I'll get him," I said. Picking up the boy, I got on Jake's back, who enlarged and started to run. As he started running towards the Candy Kingdom, he flattened out his back, letting me place down the dude. He looked about my age. I held my hands over my eyes and started to breathe slowly. PB said that could relax me sometimes. After doing that for several moments, there was coughing. I looked at the dude. He was staring at me. His eyes echoed of death, fear, grief, and sadness. "W-What's your name?" I stuttered, bewildered at the boy. "My...my name is Chris," He answered back. "Are you human?" I asked him, but he already had fallen asleep. "We're here!" Jake yelled.

Me and Jake picked him up, and rushed him through the entrance. Peebles walked out, and waved, smiling. "Hello, Finn and Jake! How are you- Oh my Glob!" she started to grief. "Princess, we need him in the hospital right now!" Jake almost shouted in anxiety. PB nodded silently, and soon an ambulance arrived. I looked as the ambulance drove away towards the hospital. "Was...was he human?" The princess asked. "I don't know..." I muttered in reply.

New chapters coming out soon, hope you all enjoyed this new chapter!


	2. Chapter 2: We're the same type

I woke up with a gasp, afraid. Realizing I was safe, I started to breathe normally, and I took in my surroundings. I was in a hospital bed in a large room, with other empty beds. Sunlight shone in through a window. I was wearing my clothes, and they were bloodstain free, along with them feeling warm and clean. On the floor next to me were my sneakers. On the end table to my left were my iPod and charger. My leg still hurt when I moved it, but it was at least bandaged. As I started to relax, the double doors opened, and a young lady walked in. She was pink, and pink..and...well...all pink. As she briskly strolled towards me, it hit me-I appeared to be in Ooo! I was a fan of the show before, well..the world went to Hell. That was where the portal led to! Princess Bubblegum stared at me with a smile. "Hello. I am Princess Bubblegum, of the Candy Kingdom. And you are?" She introduced, extending a hand. "My name is Christopher J. Albano. Pleased to meet you," I responded, grasping her hand and shaking it. It felt like a normal human handshake. "It's wonderful to see you're alive! We thought you had died. Are-are you human?" She said. I nodded. A look of disbelief spread across her face.

"Then I'll send Finn and Jake in. They're very excited to meet you," She stated, and left. Several seconds later, Finn and Jake came running in like chimpanzees with giant grins on their faces. "You're human?!" Finn almost screeched in happiness. I laughed, and nodded. "MATHEMATICAL!" Finn shouted. "And check this out!" Jake said. He twisted into a spiral. "That's...That's amazing!" I complimented, acting dumbstruck, knowing that Jake is a magical shape shifting talking dog. "Did..Did you save me?" I asked. They nodded. "We found you near our tree fort. You were pretty bad; Don't worry bro, you should be fine in a week," Jake reported. "How did you get here?" Finn asked. It would seem as if my vocal cords were cut. I looked at him, and it was as if Finn knew that my whole family, all my friends, and my girlfriend were killed right before my eyes in the fighting. "Never mind, let's not talk about that," Finn stated. He and Jake then got off my bed, and started towards the door. "Bye Finn and Jake!" I yelled. "Bye Chris! See you in a week!" Jake responded as the doors closed. Feeling tired, I fell asleep the fasted I've ever fallen asleep in my life.

**1 WEEK LATER**

I was sitting in bed, eating my not-so-crappy hospital food, when Princess Bubblegum walked in. "I believe your leg has healed!" She declared happily. I slowly set the tray down, and VERY slowly got off the bed. The cold tiles tickled my bare feet, but I didn't do anything. I walked to her and back. No pain at all. She giggled in happiness. "Okay, you can leave. Finn and Jake will be there to drive you to the fort," She said, with a big smile, and left. Putting on my shoes, I followed her outside, and through the Kingdom, to the exit. Finn and Jake were standing there, loitering. I strolled towards them, and smiled. They returned it, and asked, "Ready to go to our Tree Fort?" I nodded, feeling excited.

Chapter 3 will be released soon! Thanks for viewing! Comments are appreciated a lot!


	3. Chapter 3: Gearing Up

I fired the crossbow, and hit the target. Finn and Jake had instructed me to "hone my awesome combat skills" with a crossbow, and a sword. It was silver with a red handle. I had gotten an A+ with the crossbow so far. It reminded me when I used to take Archery Camp, when the teacher would grade us on our ability to hit the target like school. I had never used a crossbow before, but it was relatively easy once you got the ropes. Setting it down, I wiped the sweat from my brow. Next, I picked up the sword. There were multiple dummies and scarecrows for me to train with. Raising the sword, I decapitated a scarecrow. Straw fell out of the thing's head. I continued on, attacking the targets. When I was done, I was panting, and everything was destroyed. "Congrats Chris! You are now a combat master!" Finn congratulated with a smile. I flashed the thumbs-up sign. "What next?" I asked. "Well, you get to pick out your clothing. IF you don't like the ones you have now," Jake told me. He and Finn led me to their bedroom, where they showed me some clothes.

**10:00 PM, AN HOUR LATER**

"You look cool!" Finn complimented. I had swapped out my sneakers for black boots, my shorts for white pants with safety pads (They looked cool), and had donned an ash hoodie. I also just realized it-I had a backpack. I had it when I was running. Finn asked me if I wanted my backpack, and I had just kinda realized. In it was a journal, a notebook, and a necklace stating, "Saint Christopher, Protect Us," and a picture of...of...I dropped the backpack, and stumbled backwards, clutching my necklace. I then fell to my knees, and started to cry. Like a big baby in front of Finn and Jake. They comforted me, and then Finn slowly walked over, and picked up the picture. "Who...Who is this girl?" He asked. I looked up, and told him the story.

_It was just a normal day after school with my girlfriend, Erin. We were laughing, making jokes, holding hands, the usual stuff. And then we heard an explosion. We both winced at the sound, and looking, we heard gunfire around the corner. I slowly walked towards it. As I turned, there was a man with a red bandanna over his face. I stared, at him, and then he slugged me in the gut with the baseball bat. I fell backwards in pain, and things started to blur. "Any last words, sport?" He asked, raising the bat over his head. I was about to stutter an insult, but I heard a voice pierce through the air. "NO! Please! Don't!" I looked over towards the caller. Erin was standing there, a look of despair on her face. The man laughed. "Okay, I won't hurt you," He stated flatly. I started to get back up to my feet. When I looked over at him, he had a pistol pulled. He beat me in the head with the butt of the pistol, then flipped it around, and he aimed at Erin. I screamed as he pulled the trigger. I then passed out. When I woke up...She was dead._

After telling my sob story, I let it sink in. Jake closed his eyes in sadness, and Finn just stared at the picture, his eye watering. "It's...it's ok Chris..." Finn said, patting me. I nodded, sniffing. "Let's just get some rest...you need some..." I got up slowly, and Finn let me down to the couch, which actually was really comfortable. "Good night Finn," I said, relaxing on the couch. "Good night Chris," Finn replied, and started up to his bed. I started to sleep when I heard a computerized voice. "Who are you?" I opened my eyes, and BMO was staring at me.

Thanks for reading, next chapter there will be some exploration on Chris's part, and of course comments and reviews are appreciated. If you leave a comment, I'll try to quote it in the end section here. I also might a quote at the start of the chapter (Relating to in some way, but not from the chapter). Goodbye until then!


	4. Chapter 4: Candy Kingdom

"In wisdom gathered over time I have found that every experience is a form of exploration." -Ansel Adams

"Finn! Jake! I'm going to explore the Candy Kingdom!" I yelled from the bedroom. "Alright dude!" Finn said, mouth full from bacon pancakes, which tasted awesome. I dug through my backpack. A gas mask that my father gave to me as a gift from when he returned from the military. I found a flare gun, with 4 flares. And I also found a bag full of gold coins. No idea where that came from. I swung it over my backpack, and grabbed the silver sword with the red handle, which I had recently named Chillrend. I walked outside, waving goodbye to BMO, Finn, and Jake.

Arriving at the kingdom, I swung Chillrend over my back, making it snag on the backpack, keeping it in place. I walked towards the entrance, and started towards the streets. It wasn't long before I realized that Candy People were staring at me in awe and muttering to each other. Is he human? _"How old is he? How did he get here?" _These questions echoed among themselves. I then remembered Finn is the last human in Ooo, until I came along. So I'm probably a shock to them. The awkwardness grew. I didn't really know what to do, until a voice pierced the silence. "Citizens of the Candy Kingdom!" I turned along with the crowd to see Princess Bubblegum. "This person's name is Chris. Say hello to the new human in Ooo!" She finished. The Candy People went berserk, cheering happily and jumping excitedly. Princess Bubblegum smiled. "Would you like something to drink?"

"So you're good at archery?" Princess Bubblegum asked. I nodded, sipping on my cup of juice. I have no idea what the Hell is in the cup I'm drinking, but it tastes nice. We were in her tower. "I took Archery Camp a couple years ago. I dropped out when I was shot in the stomach with an arrow by accident," I explained, and lifted up my shirt to show a scar where the arrow hit. "Another topic," She started, "How did you get here?" I let out a big sigh. "Okay, so I lived in I would guess the past. The world was being torn up by bombs and war. It had hit my town. I was running through the streets when a man shot me in the leg. I ran from him, but a car exploded and sent me through a window. When I woke up, I saw a portal. Dying, I went through the portal, and ended up in Ooo." Princess Bubblegum sat silent for a moment before stating, "It might have been the Mushroom War." I instantly knew the term. It might have been; I wasn't sure.

"How were your family, and friends?" She asked. I gulped, feeling a giant lump in my throat. My eyes watered. I looked up at her. "They're...They're...dead." The word escaped my lips, and I hung my head again. I could hear her gasp lowly and she got up from her chair. She rubbed my hair. "It's ok Chris...It's ok..." She then hugged me. Not out of romance, but for sympathy. I hugged her for a couple seconds, close to crying, before we released. Sniffing and rubbing my eyes, I took out Erin's picture and put it on the table. PB stared at it. "Is this your sister?" I shook my head. "Girlfriend. She...she gave her life for me..." I stated, then put it back in my pocket. The Princess patted my shoulder again, and then she walked over to a chest-looking thing and started searching for something. I got up from my chair, and walked to the window. I saw all the Candy People and the Kingdom stretch before me. I let the wind blow my brown hair. "Chris? I have something for you," The Princess said. I turned, and she was holding a pair of gloves. They weren't normal pansy-looking gloves. They looked...cool, to say the least. I slid them on. They were very comfortable and my hands weren't all sweaty. They were fingerless gloves, my favorite type. In the middle of the palm, an emerald was etched into the design. "They're...They're wonderful!" I exclaimed. "Thank you Princess!" She smiled. "It's nothing, really," She said, acting like it was nothing, but I could see her smile. "I'm going to head back to the Tree Fort. I'll see you around!" I said, walking towards the door. "Goodbye Chris!" She said, waving. As I opened the door to the staircase, she exclaimed, "Wait!" I turned around, eyebrows raised. "Chris, there is battle facing the Candy Kingdom of a dangerous force that I have created. Be prepared to fight," She warned. I looked at her, nodded, and left.

The whole way home I thought about her warning. As I opened the door, BMO walked in, and hugged my leg. "Hello, Chris!" It greeted me. I smiled. I sat down on the couch with Finn and Jake. "How'd it go?" Finn asked. "Pretty nice, the Candy People flipped out when they found another human," I stated, as BMO crawled onto the couch, then sat on my head. "Well, you made it just in time for dinner," Jake stated, walking towards the kitchen. "What's for dinner?" Jake turned, and stated, "Meatloaf bro." A smile spread across my face. "I love meatloaf!" I exclaimed. "Me too!" Finn yelled, and then we fist bumped.


	5. Chapter 5: Memories

"Death ends a life, not a relationship." -Mitch Albom

I woke up, covered in sweat. My heartbeat returned to normal. I got up off of the couch. BMO slept on the coffee table in front of me. Slowly stumbling towards the window, I stared outside. The stars and moon were out; It looked around midnight. Putting on my boots, I stepped outside.

The grass made a crunching sound as I stepped through the yard. I just stood there, looking at the sky. A shooting star flew through the night. Feeling in my pocket, I pulled out the picture of Erin. "May you rest in peace, Erin. May you rest in peace," I said to myself, and a tear formed at the corner of my eye. I remembered my father's dying words to me. "Son. Everyone dies alone. That's what it is. It's a door. It's one person wide. When you go through it, you do it alone. But it doesn't mean you've got to be alone before you go through the door. And believe me, you aren't alone on the other side." Those...Those were his last words. He said that to me, in the streets. The bullet had gone too deep; We both knew it, we knew he would die. I just helped him to the side of a car and set him down there. After that, he brought me into a hug. I hugged him. I kept on hugging, even after his arms went limp. I cried in his arms, mumbling, "Keep me safe, Daddy. Keep me safe." After some time, I had found out that two men were watching me. They were obviously terrorists. I looked them in the eyes. Their guns, aimed at me, slowly went down to their sides. They stepped backwards, letting me go. I gave my dead father a hug, and started to run.

By this time I was on my knees, bawling. I wanted my family. I wanted my friends. I wanted...I wanted to hug someone. I want to hug them and just not let go. I fell to the ground, sobbing. "I-I-I want my family. I want them," I said in the darkness. But I knew that wouldn't happen. Everyone in my life was dead. I saw them die. I saw the explosions, the guns. The blood...Oh god, the blood, it was everywhere.

Soon, the sun was beginning to come up, and I walked inside. I slugged a glass of water, and then fell asleep, thinking about my father.

_Princess Bubblegum's P.O.V_

_"Dear Princess Bubblegum. For all the pain and anger you have caused for everyone, I have found it unacceptable. I am going to launch an attack on the Candy Kingdom. I have cloned myself, and then made him thin. I then cloned him. After several days of cloning, I have amassed a large army. Be prepared to lose your precious kingdom! -Earl of Lemongrab"_

I looked over the letter. The Candy Kingdom wasn't prepared for an attack like this. We would have to fight, and many subjects would lose their lives. I held my face in my hands. I would need help from Finn, Jake, Marceline, and Chris. "Chris..." I said that name aloud. I felt so much pity for that boy. The Candy People were so happy to know he existed, and I was happy if they were. He seemed heroic, yet intelligent in a way. He looked like the type of person that would think something through before doing it. I believed he would defend the kingdom. I wrote letters to the friends of mine, which included Lumpy Space Princess (She would flip out, I'm sure) and of course, I also wrote letters to be delivered to the Tree Fort, and Marceline's House. I delivered them, and then took a sip from my coffee.

_Chris's P.O.V_

"Hey homies, we got a letter from PB!" Finn declared, walking into the living room. Me and Jake were playing Pro Football 1861 on BMO. I had beat him right as Finn walked in. We both looked up and Finn opened the letter and started reading. His smiled faded off of his face. "What's wrong dude?" Jake asked with a tone of uncertainty in his voice. Finn stared at us. "Lemongrab cloned himself thousands of times and is now invading the Candy Kingdom," Finn reported. Jake's jaw dropped. "Who's Lemongrab?" I asked, pretending like I had no idea who he was. "He's one of PB's failed experiments. He's an annoying lemon person. He got really fat and became a tyrant. It says here that he's no longer fat, neither are his clones. He also changed his sword to a normal one, instead of a screaming sound sword. His clones have normal swords too," Finn stated. "So that's not good. We should gear up. After we get our weapons, we'll go to Marceline's," Jake said. "Marceline is a vampire," Finn reported to me. I nodded. Grabbing Chillrend and walking out the door following Finn and Jake, I felt nervous. I don't know what a vampire is like, but I hope she likes me...

New chapter coming out soon! Sorry to end you guys on a semi-cliffhanger, I'll post another chapter. I included the battle because I felt like it was getting boring, and Chris was now officially an Ooo citizen, so I'll have a battle which will take awhile. Comments are appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6: Preparation for Battle

"You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." -Margaret Thatcher

Princess Bubblegum's face seemed to relax when she saw us coming. The crossbow was tied to my leg, and Chillrend was attached to my backpack. "Okay guys, we need battle roles," PB said. We all nodded. "Finn and Marceline, guard the kingdom once it gets breached. Jake, stay inside the main castle. Chris, you're archery attack," She reported. Everyone agreed with that and walked off. There were stairs leading up to the platform. It was a 10-foot wide "platform" in a sense. It was more of a floor 14 feet off of the ground that stretched around the whole castle. There you could see at the top and fire. There were 2 turrets with arrows loaded into them nearby. Two Banana Guards were manning each. Another 5 were holding bows and candy rifles. "Guys, the boss is here!" One shouted. They all turned their attention to me. Taking of the string on my leg, I held the crossbow in my hands. "Let's destroy Lemongrab and his puny army!" I shouted. They all cheered. That wasn't hard. I aimed my crossbow at the horizon and pretended to shoot. I could shoot that. I jumped down from the spot, and headed over to Finn and Marceline.

Marceline was swinging her axe bass, practicing. Finn was inspecting his sword. "Hey guys," I greeted warmly. They both waved. "Hey Marceline, nice...instrument you have there," I complimented. She swung the axe-bass with a confident grin. "Yeah, it's pretty cool." Finn walked up to me. "Hey Chris, how's the archery thingamabob?" I contemplated the thought, and replied, "The banana guards don't look like they have good aim. We have those turrets; they'll impact them. I'd say we'd knock out a hundred or so before they get to the kingdom. That's a minimum, not sure what's in store." I waved goodbye, and started to walk inside the castle.

Jake was sitting on the floor eating a sandwich. "What's up bro?" I asked him, a smile across my face. He looked up mid-eating, and waved. After swallowing his bite, he said, "How's the stuff outside?" I shrugged. "Finn and Marceline, and the Banana Guards seem to have things down. Turns out there's turrets that shoots tons of arrows. It's rad," I reported. Jake smiled. "It's kind of boring in here. PB says we'll have like 15 guards in here. I think we'll take care of Lemongrab," Jake said stated confidently. "Yeah," I responded. "I do too."

**9:00 PM**

"Okay guys, that's a day!" PB said. "Lemongrab is going to attack tomorrow, so you should all stay in. He's attacking in the afternoon. Everyone get some good night's sleep and prepare for the battle!" I nodded, and looked at the night sky. It was so beautiful; so undisturbed. _It's gonna be filled with chaos tomorrow, _I thought to myself. Leaning against the wall of the tower, I let my head fall forward, and I fell asleep, clutching Chillrend.

Sorry if this chapter is short, family member just died, I'm depressed. New chapter coming soon; It's a battle one. Comments are always appreciated. See you next chapter.


	7. Chapter 7: The Battle for Candy Kingdom

"I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens." -Woody Allen

"Positions, everyone!" Princess Bubblegum shouted. I stared out from my position. This was...this wasn't like the show. It was scary. There there were roughly 3000 Lemongrab clones, all swords brandished, glaring at us. I looked down at my hands, which were holding the crossbow. I felt confident, wearing the gloves PB gifted me. Seconds ticked by. Sweat was forming on my forehead. One of them was wearing full knight armor except for the helmet. He was probably the original. "Princess! Your unacceptable kingdom will be taken by the Lemongrabs!" he yelled. I saw he was on a Lemon Camel, as were roughly 100. "Come on! Fight us, you cowards! I bet you-" His taunt was cut short as the arrow hit his Lemon Camel, and he fell down. I lowered the crossbow, and quickly reloaded it. "GET THEM! GET THEM NOWWWW!" Lemongrab screamed, crushed by his Lemon Camel. With a mighty roar, the Lemongrabs charged towards the kingdom. I fired an arrow, knocking them down. The other Banana Guards were firing arrows, but not very well. The two in the turrets were doing good. It seemed like we were slowing them down until a Banana Guard screamed in terror. I looked towards the horizon, and fear shot through me. There was a catapult, and it had a gigantic lemon on it. It flung. I watched it fly towards the kingdom. "EVERYONE GET DOWN!" I screamed, and went prone. I saw two of them duck, and the two in the turrets panicked and tried to get out. I looked up, and saw it fly right into our location. It launched me backwards, falling 15 feet onto the hard ground.

When I awoke, it was blurry at first. I then sat up. The lemon had busted a hole in the upper part of the wall, and the turrets were destroyed. Everyone assigned to my unit looked dead. I turned to move my head because it was stiff, and saw I was at the end of a blade. A Lemongrab clone was holding the sword. "Goodbye," He said, and raised the sword. It never went down. A Banana Guard had impaled him through the heart, pinning him to the wall. He made gurgling noises, then stopped moving. The Banana Guard who saved me then ran off. I grabbed my backpack, and took Chillrend off of its string. Slinging the backpack over my shoulder, I started to move but looked down. Immense rage filled me right then and there. The crossbow was cracked in two. Raising my blade, I ran to Finn and Jake, who were battling some Lemon clones. Jake made a giant fist and crushed one, and Finn tripped one and slashed his back. "Guys! Where's Marceline?!" I asked, frightened. I didn't even care that Jake was fighting instead of guarding the castle. "She's inside Cinnamon Bun's house, but they filled it with sleep gas!" Jake said, picking up a Lemon clone with his large hand and flinging him off into the distance. I dug around in my backpack, and put on the gas mask. zipping it up, I started to sprint towards Cinnamon Bun's house.

As I neared Cinnamon Bun's house, I heard a girl scream. I looked over and saw a Lemongrab clone about to plunge his sword into Chocoberry. I tackled him, and we wrestled. I eventually won, and took the clone's sword, and stuck the sword through his heart. His eyes went pale, and he stopped struggling. Chocoberry thanked me and started to run in terror. I had just killed someone. I leaned over and vomited. Wiping it with my sleeve, I stepped up. I had to do it again. Picking up Chillrend, I arrived at Cinnamon Bun's house. There was a lemon clone standing guard, but I killed him. Opening the door and closing it quickly, I looked around.

Marceline was sleeping on the floor, with multiple cuts and bruises on her. Picking her up, I looked over at her axe bass, which was now a deeper shade of red (blood red). I opened the door, and carried her out, kicking the door shut. Running through the streets, I reached the castle. I brought her in. "Set her down!" Princess Bubblegum ordered, and I did so. There were multiple Banana Guards standing guard, and 3 of them were lying in stretchers. "The Candy Kingdom Hospital was destroyed by one of those giant lemons," PB explained. I nodded. I walked outside. A clone slashed at me; I dodged it and cut his throat open, then kicked him down. I kept moving through the streets. I heard a nasal screaming. "Oh my glob, let go of ME!" I looked over towards a small house. A lemon clone was clutching Lumpy Space Princess by the arms, and another was aiming a sword right into her forehead. I sprinted over, and since the one with the sword had his back turned to me, I impaled him with my sword. It went right through his body, and he collapsed. The other dropped LSP, and fumbled for his sword. I cut him in the stomach, and he fell over clutching his wound, and moaned, "Unacceptable..." before dying. "Oh my grob, thank you for like totally saving me!" Lumpy Space Princess yelled. I nodded and kept running through the streets. I looked towards the gate. There were no longer Lemongrabs pouring through the entrance, but there were a ton. Jake was 5 times his normal size, pounding clones. He picked up a handful, and threw them like a baseball towards the wall of PB's castle, crushing them. Finn was slashing through them.

"Guys! Get inside the palace!" Finn yelled, decapitating one. We ran inside, and shut the gate. They were iron bars at the entrance, so they were groping through the entrance. Princess Bubblegum looked terrified. "What do we do?" She asked. "We'll hide until they go away. They'll get bored," Finn suggested. "I don't see what other option we have," PB said. Marceline had awaken and looked very tired. "What happens when they break in? They'll rip it apart," Marceline stated. "You're right. We need someone to fight, or defend while we hide. Anyone got any ideas?" Princess Bubblegum agreed. I closed my eyes. "I'll do it," I said. "No! Come on homie, don't do this! We just met! You're the new human in Ooo!" Finn argued. "No. I've been here for maybe 2 weeks. I'll fight. I'll discourage them. Just go," I said. Finn backed off, and everyone in the room, which were 2 Banana Guards, Marceline, Jake, Finn, LSP, and Princess Bubblegum, left. I turned to face the lemon clones in the empty room, which were about to break down the gate. I took out a picture of Erin, clutching Chillrend in the other. As the gate broke down, I raised my sword, ready to fight.

I cut through the giant clone horde. I was received with cuts and some ripped clothing, but I was able to safely maneuver them, causing some to unintentionally kill their fellow fighters. Taking out a dagger I had forgotten about in my pocket, I cut one's in the leg. He screamed and fell backwards, allowing me to slash him in the face. Dodging a sword sung at me, I plunged the dagger into the throat of an attacker. Blood formed at his mouth, and he fell backwards. I had killed around 200, which took an hour, when I saw a clone coming up behind me. Chillrend was currently lodged in a clone's chest, and I pulled really hard. As Chillrend released, the Lemon Clone slashed me across the back. White hot pain surged through my body, and I stumbled backwards. I turned to face the clone. "Hmph...Acceptable," he muttered with an evil grin. "Unacceptable," I replied, and cut off his head. I turned, and I saw the survivors looking at me, swords drawn, faces of hate etched onto them. Out of the crowd, a pile of dynamite was thrown at me. I looked at it blankly, then picked it up, and threw it at the ceiling near where they were. It exploded, and crushed around 10 clones. I stood there, until I saw the original Lemongrab appear. He took aim with a crossbow, and a thought went through my head. _Game over._ I raised my gloved hands, and that didn't stop him. The arrow pierced through my stomach, and the edge of my vision flashed. I fell backwards, clutching the arrow in pain. He reloaded, then aimed another, and fired. It hit me in the chest this time. I gasped loudly, and my breathing became louder, and slower. Edges of my vision were blurred. He fired another arrow, then dropped the crossbow. Almost everything was blurry. He looked at me in the eyes. I looked up at him. I couldn't do anything. "Unacceptable," he told me, and raised his blade. The sword was knocked out of his hands. He turned towards the door. "Huh-?" Finn was standing there, rock in hand. Behind him Marceline rushed out and slashed open two clones. Jake too, and the Banana Guards were fighting as well. Soon, the original Lemongrab yelled, "RETREAT LEMON SOLDIERS!" and started to run out with the others. They had gone. I slumped down to the side, feeling myself die. Finn walked over with everyone else. "Does...Does it look bad?" I asked, coughing. I had been stabbed several times with daggers, and they were stuck in my torso. "Yeah...it does..." Finn said, on his knees. "I told you not to!" He scolded. I saw all the characters looking at me. I hacked up a ton of blood, and let my head fall to the side. "As a great man once said..." I began. "Life is peaceful, and death is peaceful. But the transition into it isn't." And all of a sudden, everything went dark. It felt peaceful. Very...peaceful...and..quiet.

Thank you all for reading this chapter of the blog, Chris isn't dead-or is he? You'll have to read the next chapter to find out. I hope you liked this super-long battle chapter, I'll be posting more either later today or tomorrow. See you next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8: Recovery

"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time." -Mark Twain

_Finn's P.O.V_

"What-What should we do?" I asked, looking over Chris. His body was broken, and bloody. Not to mention there were two daggers plunged into him and 3 arrows stuck in his stomach and chest. His eyes were closed, and his breathing was very slow. "The Candy Kingdom Hospital is unable to tend to him, or anyone for that matter. You should bring him to the Tree Fort and try what you can there. I'll send Doctor Princess over," PB said. I nodded, and me and Jake picked Chris up, and started to walk out the door. I turned my head as we left to see Princess Bubblegum covering her face in her hands and Marceline sitting there with a grim expression on her face.

When we set him down on the couch, BMO started to stop crying. "Will Chris be ok?" BMO asked Jake. "We don't know, BMO," Jake replied. BMO sulked off, sniffing. "This isn't good, man," I told Jake. "Yeah, totally not good," Jake agreed. I looked at Chris. He wasn't bleeding, but his clothes were splattered with blood.

**1 DAY LATER**

"He should be ok in about 10 days. I've removed the daggers and arrows from his body. We just need to hope he heals fast," Doctor Princess reported. Jake and I sighed in relief. After she left, we walked over to Chris. He was sleeping soundly, but looked less in pain. There was still some blood on his clothing, but it wasn't completely clean. The 3 arrows and daggers were placed next to him. I put them on the coffee table. "You'll be ok, Chris. You'll be ok," I told him.

_Chris's P.O.V._

Everything was on and off. I awoke for several seconds and then fell asleep again. I felt some pain, but it was gone. I looked down once, and saw the arrows and daggers weren't in my body anymore. My dreams flickered from Erin to my parents to the war. I had dreams about Adventure Time. I once had woken up in the middle of the day, and then closed my eyes, tired. I felt little arms grasp my right arm, and then a cube-like surface hugging it. I rubbed BMO's head with my free arm, then fell asleep.

Once, I woke up, feeling very rested, not groggy. It was dark out. Propping myself up on one elbow, I stood up. Wobbling, I stumbled to a window, and caught myself. Lifting up my shirt, I saw my chest was all bandaged. I wasn't wearing my gloves, and my left arm was bandaged, and there were some red stains on it. A clone had sliced my arm whilst I was fighting in the castle. I turned around, ready to walk back to bed. I turned, and Finn was staring at me, holding a candle. "Are you-" He started to ask. I nodded, smiling. "Yeah. I'm back baby!"

Thank you all for reading, I personally think this wasn't my best work, I just wanted a recovery chapter to get out of the way. Chris isn't fully recovered, he'll still be healing in the next chapter. Next chapter uses Lemongrab again, but it's not a battle. Chris's arm is actually less healed than his stomach, so the bandage will stay on his arm next chapter, while the bandage will be taken off sometime between chapters. Comments appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9: Infiltration

"If your enemy offers you two targets, strike at a third." -Robert Jordan

I was hiding next to the Castle Lemongrab entrance next to the princess. While Finn and Jake caused a distraction, we would sneak in and destroy Lemongrab's cloning machine. After several tense moments, firecracks went off. The two guards left the main entrance to take a few steps forward towards the noise. I took the opportunity. I grabbed the one near me and slit his throat with the dagger. The other one turned towards me, holding a crossbow. He aimed, but I whipped it at him, and it hit him right in the throat. He dropped the crossbow and fell backwards, dead. I grabbed his crossbow. "In here!" PB whispered, and we stepped into the dining hall. Two clones were posted there. "Hey-" One of them stuttered, but I shot him through the chest. "Run!" I yelled at Bubblegum, who started to sprint up the stairs to the door on the left, me following close behind. As PB ran through the door, I felt a yank on my shirt. The clone had grabbed me, and we both went tumbling down. I was faster than he was, and grabbed his sword. I cut the fiend through the chest, and kicked him hard. It rocketed him onto the dining table. I ran inside the door, closing and locking it.

Me and Princess Bubblegum searched through the doors, until we came to a big one reading, "CLONE MACHINE- DO NOT OPEN!" I facepalmed as Princess Bubblegum opened the door. There was a guard loitering by, and I took out Chillrend, and dodged his sword swing, effectively allowing me to stab him through his lemony heart. The clone collapsed. Princess Bubblegum was fiddling at it, with me watching. "I've set the machine to shut down all the clones upon destruction, but it won't turn off. It's...stuck..." She reported, taking out a pair of tweezers and cutting a couple wires. Suddenly, a small hole burst in the door, and I saw a squad of clones trying to get in. I grabbed the other sword, and dual wielded my way into the fray. I cut down two, but the others were fighting fiercely. Dodging a sword, I backed up. "It needs to be destroyed, it's just STUCK!" She cried. Turning, I whipped the Lemon Clone's sword into the clone machine. "There. UNSTUCK!" I yelled, and sparks appeared, then the clones just collapsed. "Alright, but we need to destroy the cloning machine!" PB reported. I felt like telling her the fact that there was a sword almost completely lodged in the thing, but I nodded. She took out a small timer with a stick on dynamite on it, and set the timer near the cloning machine, and then she turned, telling me to run. We turned the corner, but Lemongrab was standing there, a look of hate upon his face. "YOU! SHALL! PERISH! UNACCEPTABLE TRASH!" Lemongrab screamed, and then came sprinting like an angry buffalo towards me. With nowhere to run, I faced the yellow fiend with Chillrend drawn. The hallway was very long, and I was scared. So I sang, slowly. "Just close your eyes... the sun is going down..." I sang softly. "You'll be alright...no one can hurt you now...Come morning light...you and I'll be safe...and..." I closed my eyes. "Sound." Just then Lemongrab crashed into me, sending me into the cloning room. I kept from cursing. Lemongrab was unable to get up due to his armor. I ran out the door, not before closing it. We ran through the hallway, then reached the dining room. While PB went down the stairs, I slid down the banister. We burst through the front door. Finn was looking around at the disabled clones with a puzzled look on his face, same as Jake. "Keep moving, keep moving!" I yelled two them. They turned, and we ran out of the gate, and kept running.

The moon shone overhead, as we walked. Finn and Jake were trailing behind, and I was next to PB. "That was beautiful singing, Chris," She complimented. "What song is it?" Figuring she didn't know who Taylor Swift was (I wasn't a Swifter, or whatever. I just thought that song was awesome), I replied, "It's called Safe and Sound. I heard it before I landed up in Ooo." She nodded. "That was very nice. Do you sing a lot?" She asked. Now it was my turn to nod. "Well, I'd love to hear it again sometime," She said. "Thanks," I responded with a warm smile.

Later that night, I was searching through my backpack. Gripping a small piece of paper, I took it out. I shed a tear instantaneously. There was a picture of me and Jason. Jason was my best friend. Flipping it over, I felt a huge lump in my throat. 'Best friends, in life, and in death. Through it all' was written on the back. Jason died the same day Erin was. I had gone inside the school, knowing that Jason had to be in there. Going upstairs, I saw him in the center of the hallway. "Chris! I need-" Jason's sentence was cut off when the whole section of the floor he was standing on gave way. In terror, I sprinted towards the whole. Looking over, my stomach dropped. Jason was impaled by a metal rod through the stomach. I jumped down, and hit the ground hard. I crawled over to him. "You'll be alright," I told him, at the point of breaking down. "Come on, don't be sad. I'll be fine," He sputtered out, coughing. "Let's just have one last laugh together," He proposed. I nodded, and we let out small laughs. "You're a true friend, Chris. Best of luck," He told me. Those were his last words. I sat there crying over my dead best friend, and then I grabbed his hoodie which he was holding while he fell. It was a green Minecraft creeper hoodie, where you put up the hood, and when you zip it up all the way, your face looks like a creeper. I stuffed it in my backpack and ran through the burning school.

It was then when I pulled out the hoodie. I closed my eyes and lowered my head in honor. "In life, and in death," I stated. BMO was next to me. "What is this?" it asked. "Well, BMO, this is my best friend's hoodie. He died before I came to Ooo," I answered. BMO sat on the couch. "I am sorry, Chris," BMO stated solemnly. "There's nothing to be sorry about," I said. "He's gone and that's that. Not much we can do, buddy," I finished. I lay down on the couch, and fell asleep, with BMO jumping off to let me rest.

Sorry about lack of chapters, I'll try to post one tomorrow, but I have a funeral to go to, so I'm not sure. I just wanted to tell you guys about Chris's past just a little, and explain his clothing. He WILL wear Jason's hoodie in honor of him from time to time. I also let you discover that Chris is a gifted singer; He will sing in later chapters. Apart from singing at PB's gatherings and Finn & Jake's parties, Chris will sing a lot in battles or sad events, like deaths. I might want to delve into Chris's past a bit more next chapter, so stay tuned! Comments are appreciated!


	10. Chapter 10: The Jeep

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." -Andre Gide

I walked through the plains, whistling. I felt like a walk was needed, and Finn and Jake were headed to the Candy Kingdom for awhile, so I decided to explore. As I continued to wander, I saw a forest. Obviously, I walked inside of it. It was pretty dark, and mysterious. I figured I'd turn back, so I walked backwards, ready to exit. And then I hit something hard, and fell backwards. Damn it, that hurt. After lying there in pain for several seconds, I got back up and looked at the object. It was covered in grass and ivy, and there was a machete lodged in the ground next to it. Pulling the machete out of the ground, I hacked at any nearby leaved or branches. And then I ripped off the ivy. I was carrying a water bottle, and poured some of that on the green muck on it. It wiped off enough. I stepped around the object, and tried to lift it. I part of it was uncovered. There was a star in a circle, and lettering that read, "United States Military Vehicle" on it. Excited, I put my back into lifting. After a couple minutes of pushing with all of my might, It finally turned right-side up. Panting, I fell down on the ground. It looked like a jeep. The jeep looked in good condition. It was obviously dirty, but the key was still in the ignition. I reached through the shattered window, and turned the ignition. It sputtered, then conked out. Opening the oil lid thing, it was empty. Stepping up onto it, I was about to climb in, then I froze.

There were two skeletons in the front seats. They both were wearing tattered military uniforms. One was masked, and his uniform read, "Jennings" on it. The other was unmasked, and it read "LaPeters." I, feeling terrified, touched the soldier named LaPeters. The dead soldier's skull was missing the whole left part of it, and the windshield was cracked, with dried blood all over it. He probably was launched into the windshield. I grabbed him by the uniform (Which had blood all over it. Ew.) and pulled. Eventually the body broke loose, and flung into me, sending me into the dirt. I screamed and kicked the skeleton off of me. After catching my breath, I pulled the body away, and put it in a bush. Now for the next one. Jennings wasn't very good. He wasn't covered with blood, but his visor had a bunch of small bullet cracks in it. I pulled Jennings out as well and threw him to the side. The lifeless body rolled to the side, then stopped a couple feet away. I jumped into the jeep.

I went through the glove compartment. There was a pistol, with no ammo, and a cracked watch. Worthless. I looked in the backseat. There were two guns, both M4 Carbines. One of them was lacking a clip and a handle. The other seemed ok. I picked it up, aimed, and pulled the trigger. It went off through the silent woods. The recoil launched me back, and the gun kept firing, eventually turning towards me. "Shit!" I yelled, and jumped out of the seat, and landed on the ground. The gun kept firing bullets into the seat, and then stopped. By now, I had awaken the whole damn forest. I sighed, and got back into the backseat. The M4 was out of ammo, and no other spare clips were at the ready. Useless. In disgust, I threw it out of the jeep. I kept searching. Looking in the backseat, I saw...did I?...Yes, I did!

There was a red canister filled with oil, and the assault rifle didn't shoot a giant hole through it. Picking it up, I excitedly jumped out of the jeep, and filled it up. I considered turning the ignition, but I saw something in the driver's seat. It was a bloody helmet, and a little camcorder was attached to it. I yanked it out, and turned it on. It was obviously attached to the helmet at the time of filming.

The owner of the helmet (Probably LaPeters) was driving the jeep. I could see his arms, and his gloves driving it through the street. "Keep driving, keep driving!" Jennings yelled, next to him. "I'm trying!" The jeep kept driving through the streets. "We got two enemies up ahead, keep driving, I'll take 'em out," Jennings said. He picked up the pistol, which looked like an M9, and fired at the two masked fiends waving around assault rifles. He took out one, but the other dove behind sandbags. "Damn it, I'm out!" Jennings cursed, and threw the pistol in the glove compartment. They kept driving, until they saw a man turned around in the streets. Jennings held up a hand, and LaPeters stopped driving. Jennings stared at the man. "Do you need help, civilian?" He asked. "Yes..." the man said. "I would need your soul." The man turned around, holding an MP5. "Shit, man, drive!" Jennings yelled. The man aimed, and released a round of bullets. LaPeters ducked, but Jennings didn't. Bullets shattered the windshield, and Jennings, bullet holes all over his visor, hit his head on the dashboard, dead. "Oh God..." LaPeters cried, and then he rammed the gas pedal. The man was hit, and then was flung to the side. Then an explosion went off, and the jeep flew a couple meters in the air. LaPeters screamed as the jeep hit the ground, it was at this point where the helmet fell off of the soldier, and he was launched through the windshield, and the whole left side of his head fell off. Then the jeep tipped over and the clip turned off.

"Whoa..." I muttered in the forest. Tossing the helmet aside onto the ground, I keyed the ignition. It turned to life! "YES!" I screamed happily. I was surprised it was that easy. Driving out of the forest, I headed to the Tree Fort. Finn and Jake were standing there, watching me, amazed. I stopped the jeep, and got out. "I need help fixing a truck," I said. Finn nodded, and so did Jake. "Let's fix it!" He exclaimed. There was nothing wrong with the jeep's machinery itself, but there were some other problems. Me and BMO destroyed the edges of the cracked windshield, and Finn washed the dirt and grass on the sides and back of the truck. Jake cleaned the truck's seat and floor itself. When we were done, we stopped, and stared at the beautiful truck. "Let's go for a spin," Jake yelled, grinning. We all cheered, and jumped into the truck, and keyed the ignition. All 4 of us screeched in excitement, like chimpanzees going crazy for a banana, as we flew towards the Candy Kingdom.

We were casually driving through the kingdom now, and people were staring. "Hey Chris!" a voice yelled. I stopped, and sat up in the seat. A Banana Guard was running towards me. "Smiley!" I yelled in relief. Smiley was a Banana Guard assigned to my unit. He was a turret operator. He still had on our unit helmet, which was a steel helmet with a picture of a bow on it. I had nicknamed the guard 'Smiley' because of the fact that his helmet was scratched a bit, looking like a crude smiley face. "Hey Chris," Smiley said, panting. "I thought you were dead!" I exclaimed in happiness. "Nah, you can't kill Smiley," He replied, smiling. "How's the other unit members?" I asked him. "Princess says that all others were dead, killed by the giant lemon," Smiley reported. I frowned. "That sucks," I complained. I really thought Smiley had died, because the turrets were all destroyed. That means he survived the giant lemon in a turret (While others died not in the turret, which was safer), and then survived falling 15 feet in a destroyed turret, and then wasn't killed in the attacks. "You're a tough nut, Smiley," I said, laughing. Smiley smiled. "Thanks," He said. I waved goodbye then kept driving. As we continued to drive, we saw PB staring at us. "You have a TRUCK?!" She asked in disbelief. I nodded, smiling.

I hope you all liked this (late) chapter, I'll post a ton more, comments and feedback (Same thing ~.~) are greatly appreciated. Smiley is an OC, as well as Jennings and LaPeters. Sorry I didn't get into Chris's past, but I did delve a small bit into the wars. I dunno what's in store for next chapter, but I'm aiming at maybe some Marceline time. I need to explore characters and mess around with their relationships between them and Chris. So anyways, see you all next chapter!


	11. Chapter 11: Marceline

"Though the truth may vary, this ship will carry our bodies safe to shore." -Of Monsters and Men, Little Talks

"BMO, where's Finn and Jake?" I asked. "They are at the Candy Kingdom helping the princess with one of her spooky experiments," BMO replied. _Um...Ok_, I thought. "I'm headed to Marceline's," I told BMO, heading out the door, picking up my backpack. I opened the jeep door and threw my backpack in the passenger seat, then keyed the ignition and started driving to Marceline's house.

Getting out of the jeep, I walked to Marceline's house. I was gonna knock on the door, but it was wide open. "Hello?" I asked, looking around the dark house. I started to walk in, but heard a hissing. I turned, and the door was shut. Nothing there. _Fuck this man, I'm out_, I thought, and started heading towards the door. HISS! Marceline flew in front of me, fangs bared. "OH HELL NO!" I screamed, falling backwards. Looking up, I saw the lights turn on, and Marceline laughing. I stared up at her frowning. When she offered her hand, the frown dissolved into a grin. "Nice one," I complimented, holding out my hand for a high five. She high fived me back. Apparently she was aware I was healthy again. "Nice car dude. Where'd you get it?" She asked, looking out the window. "I found it on its side in a forest," I stated blankly. "Awesome," She complimented. "Wanna go for a ride?" I asked. She nodded ecstatically.

"You aren't trying to make your move, are you?" She asked as we drove around. "NO. Just two friends going for a ride with a military jeep with no destination planned. Perfectly normal," I replied. We both laughed. We drove in silence. I felt like I was LaPeters. We had the same exact gloves. I had a thing for fingerless gloves (By that, I mean I love gloves that cut off at the knuckle. Don't know why they're called fingerless gloves. That's weird.), and we were riding with a friend. Except there wasn't chaos and warfare around us. I wondered what happened to the streets the jeep was in. I went over the camcorder clips. There was one, and it was of LaPeters and Jenning's squad getting shot up. There were a couple, but I hadn't gone over them. Anyways- "LOOK OUT!" Marceline screamed. I snapped out of my thoughts, and saw we were about to drive off of a cliff into a jungle. I slammed on the brakes, but to no avail. I saw out of the corner of my eye Marceline float up. I tried to jump out, but the seat belt was in. "Shit shit shit shit shit..." I panicked, trying to get the seat belt off. It finally clicked apart, and I jumped out of the jeep. If I was a second sooner, I would have made it. But no. I started to fall down, screaming. I closed my eyes. Then I realized that I hadn't hit the ground. Opening my eyes, I looked at the jungle. The jeep's back was just barely visible, and then it plummeted down into the jungle void. Considering I was floating a good 40 feet off the ground, I looked up. Marceline was holding me by the arms. "Thanks," I said, smiling up at the vampire. "Sure thing. That's what friends do," She replied, smiling back. She flew up and we landed on the grass. Lying next to each other looking at the clouds, I exclaimed, "That was a cool jeep." She punched me in the shoulder, still smiling. We lay there, relaxing.

When I woke up, it was night. "Marceline," I told her, shaking her. She woke up, and stared at me. "It's night. We should go back to our homes," I suggested. "Whatever, see you soon Chris," She said, flying off. I turned, and started to walk back to the Tree Fort.

"Hey guys," I greeted, walking through the front door. "Hey Chris," Jake said, not looking up from his video game. "What's up bro?" Finn asked. "Went to see Marceline. And I also accidentally drove the jeep into a jungle," I said with a cheesy smile. "That sucks," Finn said, frowning. "Yeah, it does," I replied. Plopping down on the couch, I started surfing through my backpack. After a couple minutes of just organizing everything, Finn got up and left. "Where do you think he went?" Jake asked, looking at me. "I don't know, he probably-" My answer was interrupted when I heard Finn yell "SURPRISE!" and he ran out, holding a crossbow. He tossed it to me. I caught it in one hand. "You got me a crossbow? Sick!" I thanked Finn, who beamed. "It's pretty cool. I found it while me and Jake were in a dungeon," He reported. "Jake and I," Jake corrected. Finn rolled his eyes. "Whatever man."

Sorry about a short chapter, I was getting ready for a party. This chapter delved a bit into Chris and Marceline's relationship, as they are now good friends, considering she prevented Chris from dying. I'm not gonna use romance this chapter, but maybe, just maybe, next one. I don't want a romantic fanfiction. That would be annoying. Of course, this isn't a romance-free fanfic, it's just the fact that I don't want this fanfic ALL ABOUT romance. I also can't create a couple name for Marceline, who Chris will date IF he does. Comments appreciated, and Happy Halloween.


	12. Chapter 12: It's not all gone

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live." -Mark Twain

* * *

"So this is where you found the jeep?" Finn asked, peering into the woods. "Yeah," I responded. Finn and I were gonna wander out and search the forest to see if there was anything else, while BMO and Jake were going to try and salvage the jeep. Finn looked at the implant of the sideways jeep. After standing in silence, we started to search. "Um, Finn, I'll be right back, something I have to take care of," I said. Finn nodded and kept looking around the leaves. I walked to a bush, and pushed it forward. LaPeters and Jennings were still there, motionless. I sighed in sadness, thinking about their awful deaths. I then noticed there was a hole underneath. Just a small 3-foot hole that they didn't fall in. Kicking the bush to the side, I grabbed Jennings, and dropped him in the hole, and then I dropped LaPeters in the hole as well. Their bodies fell down into the ditch, and their hands flipped upwards upon impact, with their thumb sticking up, as if giving me the thumbs-up sign. I smiled, and then covered the hole with dirt. I then picked up two sticks and made a cross with them. I looked at my makeshift grave for a second when I heard Finn yell. "Chris! Come check this out man!"

I ran to Finn, and he was staring at a metal trapdoor in the ground. In black lettering it read, "Nuclear Fallout Shelter, only to be used by residents of Natick, Massachusetts, USA." I looked down at it. There was a metal handle. I grabbed it and pulled. The trapdoor fell open, and there was a small room underneath, but it wasn't lit. I dropped down, and flicked the light switch. A dim light bulb flicked on. I dropped my backpack on the ground, and searched through it. Bingo! I took out the flashlight, and flicked it on. Finn jumped down too and started to search around. Zipping up my backpack, I put it on and distanced myself from him so we could explore better. There were bullet holes all over the walls, and...dried blood. _Ugh. Disgusting_, I thought silently, and looked at a message. 'Remember us as heroes,' was written in black spray paint on the wall. I started to walk forward, but stepped on something and tripped, falling backwards. Getting up, I looked at what I stepped on and an eerie feeling went through me.

There was a tiny skeleton clutching a worn-out teddy bear. I looked away from the dead child, and continued to walk. There was a door, and when I opened it, a small generator was on the ground. I flicked on the light switch, and it actually wasn't all dimly lit. I looked at the generator. There was a dead figure hunched over the generator, with multiple slashes and bloodstains on his shirt. Kicking over the dead figure, I kneeled down to the generator. I opened it up, and cursed. The inner panel was completely destroyed, with wires cut and some burn marks. That sucked. I walked out of the room. "Find anything?" I asked Finn. Nobody was there. I looked around, and heard Finn scream. Drawing Chillrend, I ran towards the source of his scream, a door. I kicked open the door, and saw a bunch of Goo Skulls with their tongues on Finn's leg and arms. I started to run towards him, but they noticed me and a couple attacked me. One of them tried to jump on me; I evaded the Goo Skull and slashed it in the back as it landed on the ground. I turned, and a tongue latched onto my left hand, which was the one with Chillrend on it. I dropped Chillrend and tackled the Goo Skull, then snapped its neck. I heard a choking sound, and turned to see another Goo Skull swallowing Chillrend. I heard grinding, then it choked it back up. "NO!" I screamed in rage.

Chillrend's blade was bent and the handle was snapped off from the sword and also was all bent. The Goo Skull then picked my broken sword up with its blade and tauntingly threw it into the crowd, with it being lost forever. I ran to Finn, dodging the tongues flying at me. I picked up his Demon Blood sword which was on the ground near him and cut him free from the tongues, and then yanked him to his feet by the backpack, and started to run alongside him. We reached the open door and slammed it shut, but tongues broke holes through the already worn out door. We reached the entrance, but we couldn't get up on our own. It wasn't high enough. "Finn, boost me!" I yelled frantically as the door started to crack. Finn boosted me up onto the ground, and I pulled him up, which was harder than I expected. I then slammed the metal trapdoor as hard as I could. We both fell on the ground, panting. "That was close," He told me. "Yeah," I agreed. "I lost Chillrend." The statement hung in space. I had lost my sword, which was one of my prized possessions. It was gone forever. "Its...it's ok Chris," Finn comforted me. I felt better, but I've heard that phrase so many times before. "We'll get you a new sword," He promised. I smiled and nodded. Finn stood up, and then helped me up. "Let's go check on Jake and BMO."

Finn and I had just started walking to the area when a loud explosion was heard. I pointed towards the sound, and we started running towards it. When we reached the sound of the explosion, we just stared. The jeep was there- and on fire. Jake and BMO were lying on the ground, passed out. "Jake!" Finn yelled, and ran towards him. Jake was lying on the ground. "We...lit...a match.." he got out before passing out. BMO was unconscious as well, even though I didn't know that it could still have a passed-out expression on it. I figured the screen would be black. Whatever. Finn picked up Jake and carried him over his shoulders, and I picked up BMO, and placed it in my arms, cradling it like a baby. "Let's head back to the Tree Fort," Finn said, letting out a sigh. I nodded, and we started walking as the sun started to set. I thought about Chillrend. I needed a new sword. As we arrived at the Tree Fort, I came up with a new name for the sword. Dawnbreaker. So I would go to the Fire Kingdom and have it forged, and then I'd somehow find Choose Goose and try to get an undead enchantment on it. I placed BMO down on the table and hopped onto the couch, thinking about it enthusiastically.

Thanks for reading! We've gotten 1,000 views on Chris the Human! Thanks! Chris will get Dawnbreaker tomorrow and will be called Dawnbreaker for the rest of the fanfic. Although forged at the Fire Kingdom, it will have a normal sword appearance. Also, if you didn't pick it up in the chapter, you guys learn something new about Chris: He's left-handed! Anyways, comments are very much appreciated, and they will shape the story a bit.


	13. Chapter 13: Lemongrab's Warning

"War. War never changes." -Fallout series

* * *

"Here's your sword, son," The fire elemental said, handing me my new blade. I would suspect it to be on fire, but no, it wasn't. It had a beautiful white blade, and a black hilt and handle. "Thank you very much," I thanked him, and took out a bag of gold coins. "Nonsense, Chris," He said, pushing my bag away. "You'll get it for free this one time." I smiled at him, and started to leave the marketplace. As I neared the exit of the Fire Kingdom, I heard Finn's voice. "Chris! Come over here!" I had forgotten that I had brought Finn along. I strolled over to the palace, and saw Finn's blue figure standing next to Flame Princess. Walking up next to them, I greeted, "Hey Finn. And Flame Princess, I believe?" Flame Princess was staring at me in awe, with her head cocked to the side. She looked hypnotized. She was blushing. "Um...Finn?" I asked, looking over at my friend. My facial expression read to him, "This is weird. Let's bounce." He nodded, understanding. "We've gotta go. Bye FP!" Finn waved, and started to walk out with me.

Swinging Dawnbreaker, I smiled. It was a fitting name for a sword with the purpose I had for it apart from normal uses: To have an extra effect on demons and skeletons. We arrived at Choose Goose's stand. "Hello, my fine fellow! You're looking kind of mellow! What is it that you seek, this fine day of the week!" Choose Goose greeted. "Hey Choose Goose. I need an enchantment or something that makes my sword deadly to demons and skeletons," I told the happy goose. "I have what you seek, so do not be weak. Have this my friend, pour it all on your sword until the end!" Choose Goose said, tossing me a potion. I caught it, and looked at the label. 'Sword of the Sun potion. Effects: Lasts forever, effective on demons and skeletons, demon blood doesn't appear on the blade' it read. I popped the bottle, and poured it on Dawnbreaker. My sword flashed for a second, and then went back to normal. The potion liquid dissolved onto my sword. I dropped my bag of coins on his stand, and then left the goose, who was now flopping around.

When Finn and I arrived at the Tree Fort, we realized something was wrong. I ran in, and a giant demon was standing in the living room. Jake and BMO were hiding under the table. Finn raised his demon blood sword, but I held up a hand, and he dropped it. "FOR NARNIA!" I screamed, and charged towards the demon with Dawnbreaker raised. I slid under the demon's legs, and then jumped on his back. I ran all the way up, and then grabbed onto his giant forked ear to steady myself. The demon howled in pain. "CAKE!" It moaned, trying to grab me. "THE CAKE IS A LIE!" I screamed back at it, and then plunged my sword into the demon's head. It went through the demon's head like a knife through butter, which I didn't expect. The demon's entire head fell off, sending me falling onto the floor. I grabbed Dawnbreaker and dodged out of the way as the dead demon's headless body fell over. The 4 of us stared at in silence until Jake piped up. "We should probably clean that up." I nodded, and looked at Dawnbreaker, amazed no blood was stained on the white blade.

**LATER**

Finn and I arrived at the Candy Kingdom. Jake and BMO were still in bad shape, so we left them at the Tree Fort with Marceline. Princess Bubblegum ran up to us, with Peppermint Butler at her side. "Lemongrab is returning. He created a new cloning machine, and has invented a whole new battle strategy. We can't take another attack," Princess Bubblegum griefed. "PB," I said. "Don't you have the Gumball Guardians?" Her frown immediately dissolved. "Yes, I do! We couldn't use them during the first attack because we were fitting them with an arrow attack!" She shouted happily. "Chris, you'll be assigned the same Archery unit, and with 4 turrets instead of two. I also programmed a special Gumball Guardian named Clanker to your unit," She told me. I flashed a thumbs up sign. I walked off to find Smiley while Finn was still talking to Bubblegum. He was loitering in the streets, holding a crossbow. I still had the one Finn gave me; I had yet to use it. "Hey Smiley!" I greeted, waving. Smiley's somewhat concerned face immediately turned into one of relief when he saw me. "Hey Chris," He greeted back. I was standing next to him. "You ready for the battle?" I asked him. He shook his head. "I didn't expect Lemon-butt to come by and attack again. He said the attack will commence in a week, giving us time to surrender the kingdom. No way that's gonna happen," He replied. I thought that response deserved a high five, and I gave him one.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed this kinda short chapter, yes, there will be a new battle, but not for 2 chapters. Chris got his new sword, Dawnbreaker. Not sure what's going on with Flame Princess and Chris, leave in the comments your thoughts, and that will heavily influence the next few chapters. I plan to use a couple new people in the fight, one of them will probably be Flame Princess, or maybe the Ice King. I've neglected Ice King for the whole chapter, I should use him now. Comments are appreciated. I will also add in some more Banana Guard nicknames. Next chapter is either later today or tomorrow, so stay tuned!


	14. Chapter 14: Preparing for Chaos

"Where the battle rages, there the loyalty of the soldier is proved." -Martin Luther

* * *

I climbed the ladder up to the platform which was so familiar with me. It was extended a couple feet, and there were 10 Banana Guards. "You 4. Turret gunners," I said, singling out 4 Banana Guards. They nodded silently and stepped into the turret seats. "Ok, you 5 are normal support with bows. Smiley, you get a crossbow. Veteran's Gift," I told the others. I had given Smiley a crossbow because he was my friend, not just because he was a survivor. He's a veteran. A survivor. He deserves a crossbow. They all talked to themselves in agreement. Then we saw Clanker walk up next to us. He was a grey-colored Gumball Guardian, and he looked...awesome. His fingers on his right hand were all crossbows, and his left hand had a huge crossbow on the wrist. "Hello," He greeted. We waved at him. Yep. We were gonna do good. We still had the steel helmets on, but Smiley had drawn a tally on his helm. I sighed, and looked over the guards.

**LATER...**

I had given nicknames to a couple of the guards. One of the guards had curved horns on his helmet, so I named him Dragonborn (I played Skyrim frequently). I had just given several cool nicknames to the guards of my unit in general: Wheatley, Harper, Wall-E, and Zeus. One of them was very humorous and funny; He made everyone laugh in our unit, even Clanker (This Gumball Guardian was very different and more human-like than the others), so I called him Jason, after my best friend. Jason was always the funny one with jokes in the friendship. I was funny, but more with actions and odd responses than in jokes. I had also gotten rid of the ash hoodie. I had swapped it out for a black hoodie, but that didn't matter. I was wearing the creeper hoodie during the battle. "Seems good, guys," I complimented them. They all cheered and high fived at my thanks, and I chuckled to myself and left them, deciding to check out everyone else.

I walked towards the entrance. There were obviously more Gumball Guardians, and the Banana Guards looked more alert. I walked over to Finn, who was talking to Flame Princess. Pretty cool. She immediately stopped talking when I came over, and a fluttered look came over her. "Hey Finn, Flame Princess," I greeted. She giggled at the mention of her name. "Finn, I'm gonna go get Marceline," I told Finn. "Sure bro, I'll tell P-Bubs," Finn acknowledged. I flashed the thumbs up sign at him and I started walking to Marceline's house.

Arriving at the vampire's house, I knocked on the door. Marceline opened groggily, still in her bat-themed pajamas. "Hey Marceline..." I said, holding back a laugh. She saw the smile at the form of my mouth, and we just laughed, knowing she looked funny. "Anyways..." I started, smiling dissolving. She frowned too. "What's wrong Chris?" I inhaled, and then let it out. "Lemongrab has assembled his army again and they're launching a second attack on the Candy Kingdom," I told her. Her mouth gaped open in shock. "We need your help, Marceline," I pleaded to her. She nodded, and then closed the door. Several minutes later, she came out. She was wearing a long-sleeved red and grey shirt, torn jeans, and flip-flops, and a hat. She was holding her axe-bass. She picked me up, and we both flew above the sky, soaring to the Candy Kingdom. "Wow, Marceline...This view is beautiful," I told her. "Yep...Sure is," She replied. We flew in silence to the Candy Kingdom. After the silence was broken, she dropped me a couple feet off the ground. I landed on my feet, no pain. We walked through the kingdom. Finn was talking with Jake, and Flame Princess was talking with PB. She turned, and blushed as I walked up to them. "Hey Bubblegum. Hope you didn't mind if I got Marceline. We need her," I told Bubblegum. "Of course not," She said, waving it away. "Chris, I need you to sing a song to improve the mood of everyone. Can you do that?" Princess Bubblegum asked. "Yes, Princess, I can do that. I just need some speakers," I replied. Marceline looked at me funny.

**9:00 PM**

The Gumball Guardians, Candy People, Banana Guards, and all the main characters from Adventure Time were staring at me on the stage, which was set up near the entrance. I hooked up a karaoke version of 'Radioactive' by Imagine Dragons. I pressed play on my iPod, and then walked up to the microphone. I inhaled, then sung the song lyrics:

_I'm waking up to ash and dust_  
_I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust_  
_I'm breathing in the chemicals_

_I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus_  
_This is it, the apocalypse_  
_Whoa_

_I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones_  
_Enough to make my systems blow_  
_Welcome to the new age, to the new age_  
_Welcome to the new age, to the new age_  
_Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive_  
_Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive_

_I raise my flags, don my clothes_  
_It's a revolution, I suppose_  
_We're painted red to fit right in_  
_Whoa_

_I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out on the prison bus_  
_This is it, the apocalypse_  
_Whoa_

_I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones_  
_Enough to make my systems blow_  
_Welcome to the new age, to the new age_  
_Welcome to the new age, to the new age_  
_Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive_  
_Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive_

_All systems go, the sun hasn't died_  
_Deep in my bones, straight from inside_

_I'm waking up, I feel it in my bones_  
_Enough to make my systems blow_  
_Welcome to the new age, to the new age_  
_Welcome to the new age, to the new age_  
_Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive_  
_Whoa, whoa, I'm radioactive, radioactive_

I opened my eyes, and looked out in the crowd. After several tense moments, they erupted into cheer. I made the devil horns with both of my hands, and the whole crowd was cheering and jumping. Marceline was staring at me, a huge grin on her face. Finn and Jake were flashing the thumbs up sign at me, and Flame Princess was blushing and smiling at me. I looked around the crowd, smiling. Then a purple blob appeared screaming through the crowd. "CHRIS! YOU CAN HAVE MY LUMPS! HAVE MY LUMPS CHRIS! TOTALLY HAE THEM!" Lumpy Space Princess. My face turned from a grin into a facial expression that represented the "D:" emoticon. I screamed in terror as LSP got onto the stage and jumped onto my leg. "Get off! Get off!" I screamed in panic. "YOU WANT MY LUMPS!" she screamed in reply. I screamed again and hobbled into the crowd, and launched myself into it. LSP lost her grip, and I ran onto the stage screaming in panic as she chased me. I grabbed my iPod and then kept running.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed this chapter which had a funny end to it (in my opinion). Yes, Chapter 12 was a reference to "We Fixed a Truck" which was a reference I didn't talk about. Flame Princess will be taking part in the second battle, and she appears to have a crush on Chris. I don't know what to do, because they're not in love, but they don't really know each other. I need your feedback on it, because your opinions will definitely affect the story change. Clanker is a unique Gumball Guardian with a personality representing Chris, which PB created especially with some of his DNA which was taken when he was wounded (she plucked one of his hairs), and he's a cool OC. Leave your comments down below for what you suggest/thought so far, and I'll be posting tomorrow. See you next chapter!


	15. Chapter 15: Unexpected Help

"An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality." -Brian Tracy

* * *

I woke up, and yawned. I had slept on the ground on a sleeping bag in Bubblegum's room. No idea why, but it felt relaxing. I had no feelings for her or anything...that would be awkward, with Finn having a former...well, you know. I waddled out of the sleeping back, and laughed at my attempt. It was pretty funny. I got up, and looked at Princess Bubblegum. She was sleeping soundly. I walked to the balcony, and stared out at the sunrise. I decided to go up to the wall and climb the ladder, which lead to the "platform." It wasn't really a handmade platform, it was a 8-foot wide ledge attached to the inside of the walls. At the bottom of the stairs, I opened the door, and strolled out. Marceline was sleeping on the ground, as was Finn. Flame Princess was nowhere to be found. As I walked by, I suddenly laughed. Clanker was curled up in a ball by his side, and Smiley was on top of his head, all spread out, asleep as well. Chuckling one more time, I kept walking until I reached the ladder. I climbed it, and looked out onto the field, as the sun rose. It was truly beautiful. I used to stay up until 5:30 playing video games, just to leave my room and watch the sun rise. I sighed, and looked out onto the sunrise again. I heard a giggling, and turned. "LSP, I swear if you try to..." I started, turning around. But it wasn't Lumpy Space Princess. It was Flame Princess. "Oh, sorry," I said. She laughed. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" I told her, turning around and looking out. She walked next to me. "Yeah...it really is," She said. And then she turned, and stared straight at me. Then she leaned over, and kissed me on the cheek. I stared at her with shocked eyes. "I'm..I'm sorry. It was worth it," She exclaimed, giggling, then turned, and strolled away. I had no idea what just happened, but I knew that my cheek wasn't on fire. I hope.

"Alright everyone, gather 'round!" Princess Bubblegum yelled, bringing everyone around. Finn was talking with FP and Jake, and Marceline was plucking her axe bass. I was practicing my sword skills. All 5 of us walked to PB. "Ok, so Lemongrab will most likely be attacking tomorrow afternoon," Bubblegum started. "We need to be prepared. Chris, how is your unit?"

"Ready for battle."

"Good. Finn, Jake, Marceline, and Flame Princess, how are you doing?"

All of them replied with either "Good" or "Excellent." P-Bubs clapped her hands together. "Wonderful! Keep about your business," She exclaimed, then walked off. I stared at Flame Princess. She looked at me. The others had gone away. "Friends?" I asked. "Friends," She replied. I nodded, and she did the same, then we walked off. I climbed the ladder, and started a conversation with Dragonborn. He was pretty nice. After a while, we heard a voice yell. "Are we late for the party?" I turned, and looked towards the entrance. My mouth dropped in shock.

Around 20 Flame Elements stood at the gate, with fiery swords drawn, confident smiles on their faces. Flame Princess squealed and ran to her brother, who was among the crowd. Finn grinned and flashed the thumbs up sign. I jumped down from the ladder, and walked over to the group. I was holding my crossbow, and Dawnbreaker was strapped on my back. One of them looked at me. "Hey, you're the human, right?" The rest focused their attention towards me. I nodded. "Are you an Archer?" The flame soldier asked. I nodded once again. "I like you, you're quiet. Not annoying," He said. The rest nodded. "Well, see you around," FP's brother said. I waved, and continued back to my original spot. "Do you think we have this in the bag?" Dragonborn asked. "Yeah. We got this," I replied, looking about.

**THAT NIGHT**

"Okay everyone! The lockout has commenced! Remain in your homes until further notice!" Princess Bubblegum yelled. The Candy People returned to their homes, and locked them. Some were boarded up. I looked at the moonlight falling. Clanker was sleeping against a wall, with Wall-E relaxing on his shoulder. I really liked my own personal Gumball Guardian. He slept with a smile on his face. I climbed down the ladder, and started walking towards the campfire, where Flame Princess and her brother's squad were seated with Finn and Jake as well. Marceline was talking to Princess Bubblegum. But on the way, I was stopped by Smiley. "Chris," He started. "Do you think I'll die tomorrow?" He finished solemnly. I stared at him, shocked. After several moments, I answered. "You're not gonna die, at least while I still breathe." He smiled, and walked away. I continued to the fire. After reaching there, I took a seat on the available log, next to the Fire Elemental who took a liking in me was sitting. His name was Torchlit. "Hey Chris!" Torchlit greeted me. I high fived him, which didn't burn off my entire hand. It didn't even sting. We were talking around the campfire for several hours. At the end, I asked, "Do you think Lemongrab will lose?" Everyone laughed, and then Jake yelled into the night, "Lemon-BUTT is gonna get owned tomorrow!" Everyone cheered in response, and I made the devil horns along with Torchlit. We both laughed, ready for the fight tomorrow.

* * *

Hope you all enjoyed this (kinda short) chapter, I'll post the second battle tomorrow. Following up a review from last chapter, I don't think it will be Chris x FP, and I'm not gonna delve into Finnceline or anything like that. Brace yourselves for a awesome chapter, and the next aftermath chapter will be sad, and the result will cause a certain character to remain sad for awhile. You'll just have to read. Let's just say, R.I.P. a certain O.C...Anyways, see you guys tomorrow!


	16. Chapter 16: The Second Battle

"If you will not die for us, you cannot ask us to die for you." Jacqueline Carey

* * *

"Positions, positions!" FP's brother ordered, and his squad pulled up into position near the entrance. I looked down on them from my spot, and gripped my crossbow. "You ready?" Smiley asked, beside me. I nodded. "Yeah," I replied. "I am." Smiley nodded out of the corner of my eye and aimed in with his crossbow. Clanker was standing behind our unit, with his hands pointed towards the Lemongrab army. There were a lot more this time. Wall-E, Dragonborn, and the others were aiming, confident. The battle started when someone died. I ordered a countdown to my squad. "5...4...3...2..." I stopped, and put my index finger on the trigger. "OPEN FIRE!" I yelled, and we all fired the bows and crossbows

. The turret gunners opened fire as well. The Lemongrabs were in huge numbers, but we were impeding them. I watched as my arrow flew into the yellow crowd. "Keep firing, keep firing!" I ordered, reloading the crossbow. The turrets and Clanker were super effective. Flame Princess was near one of the turrets, launching fireballs into the crowd. And then I saw the Flame Squad rush out onto the field. I watched them started tearing down the army until Zeus screamed in terror. I looked up, and muttered, "Oh shit..." A gigantic lemon was being launched towards our position. I was frozen, until a giant arrow was sent into the lemon, and it exploded. I looked up, and Clanker had his left hand aimed towards the former place the lemon was. His arm instantly reloaded another giant arrow, and he kept firing arrows into the crowd. It was going smoothly, until Smiley yelled something at me. "Chris, lemons inbound!" I turned, and signaled my hands towards Clanker. He nodded, and fired one of his giant arrows. It squashed it, and then a look of fear went over the Gumball Guardian's face. He didn't reload in time, and the giant lemon crashed through his chest. And then another. And another. And then a final one, which shattered his head, killing our Gumball Guardian.

Clanker was shooting at the time, and he fired 6 rounds (1 giant arrow, 5 normal ones). The giant one was shot directly at us as his hands went limp, and it whipped down, and completely annihilated a turret and its gunner. The gunner let out a scream of terror. The mangled turret and the split-in-half gunner were on the ground. Out of the 5 arrows, 4 hit the wall and ground harmlessly. But one didn't. The final arrow flew into Wheatley's back, causing him to die instantly. He fell backwards, and hit the ground. Clanker's dead body stumbled forwards, and then tripped, and fell over the wall, with one of his fingers snagging onto one of the unnamed members of my unit. I tried to grab his leg, but to no avail. The screaming guard fell to his death. Clanker's dead body however crushed a couple hundred lemon clones. My squad kept firing. After several minutes, a yellow arrow flew from the horde of clones, and hit another guard in the head, causing him to die. I cursed. 4 down. "Keep firing!" I yelled, and Zeus, Smiley, Dragonborn, Wall-E, and the 3 turret gunners kept firing. Harper, another guard, had accidentally fallen off PB's tower, so he was dead. Then another lemon came. We could only watch as it sailed over the kingdom like a shooting star. A crash was heard, and I winced, then reloaded the crossbow and fired. There were a _ton_. After several minutes of shooting, another melon came. And it hit hard. By this time, FP had moved down into the castle to guard. The lemon took out 2 turrets and their gunners. I cursed angrily. With the remaining gunner and the others, we continued to shoot. And then the arrows came again. They were Lemongrab archers. Not good. "Down! Down!" I ordered, and went prone. Smiley and Wall-E did as well; Not so good for the others. Dragonborn was shot thoroughly, and fell over. The gunner screamed and attempted to unbuckle his seat belt, and failed. An arrow hit him through the head, and he slumped over the controls. After the arrows stopped flying, Smiley and I started to shoot, while Wall-E ran over, and unbuckled the dead gunner. He closed his eyes in remembrance, and then tossed the corpse aside, and started to man the turret. Our unit was pretty much dead. I had no idea where the other guard Jason was either. Smiley and I kept firing the crossbows.

After roughly a half hour, 2 lemons soared through the sky. One of them hit the ground near the kingdom, and another one hit _us_. The lemon took out the whole upper segment of the wall, and flung all 3 of us backwards. I had aches all over my body, and didn't bother to get up. Smiley was at his knees, coughing. And Wall-E...Oh my God. Wall-E was on the ground with his legs slumped over the destroyed turret, and his left arm was...gone. I looked away in disgust, then passed out.

* * *

"Chris...Chris!" I opened my eyes, and Smiley was looking at me. He was holding his spear. "Come on, we gotta go! This place is being hit hard by the lemon bombs!" Smiley said. "Where's Wall-E?" I asked frantically. "I moved him to the hospital; Now let's go!" I nodded, and picked up Dawnbreaker, which fell off the snap, and then started following Smiley. We cut down several clones, and then saw a terrible sight: Two clones tackled a fire soldier, and then a third poured water on him. The fire soldier screamed in agony, and then died. In rage, Smiley cut down two and I decapitated the third one. "Keep moving!" I told him. A random Lemongrab clone ran by screaming, holding a bomb over his head. I cut him in the throat, and he collapsed into the ground headfirst. I observed the bomb. It was black, with a digit pad that went from 1 to 9 on it, and a timer which wasn't set. There was a small faded lemon design near the digital timer. There were 3 sticks of dynamite attached to it. I pocketed it and kept moving.

We fought our way to the heart of the battling, which was at Cinnamon Bun's house. There were multiple dead Banana Guards, and even a dead Gumball Guardian whose body crashed through a house lying around. I saw two Banana Guards, Torchlit, Flame Princess's brother, Finn, Jake, and Marceline behind multiple pieces of cover. Smiley ran to the guards, and I ran to Finn and Jake. "What's going on?" I asked. Finn turned around. "Dude, they have the original Lemongrab in there. He set it up as a base of operations. They're holed up tight," Finn replied. There were 4 dead Lemon clones on the ground near Cinnamon Bun's house, and 2 firing bows outside. The windows were busted out, and there were archers too. "I have an idea," I said, holding the bomb. Finn grinned. "Go get 'em!" He replied to my silent gesture. I nodded, and army-crawled slowly to the side of the house without being noticed. By now, the people defending the kingdom had noticed me. FP's brother and Torchlit nodded approvingly. I then sprinted up, and dove onto the ground. I placed the bomb on the wall of CB's house. I pressed into the keypad a 0, then a 1, and then a 5. The timer read, "0:15" on it. I then pressed the red button, and it started ticking. "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" I yelled, and ran as fast as I could to Finn and Jake's cover, and dove over it. The lemon clones guarding it looked around in awe, and then the bomb went off with a deafening 'BOOM.' The bomb took out 3 walls of the house and the roof. The guarding clones literally went flying into another house window. Jake and I hopped over our cover and ran into the building. There were several really mangled up clones, and then the original Lemongrab. He wasn't dead, but coughing. Jake picked him up. "This is for shooting me, you piece of filth," I told him, and then punched him in the face. Hard. "THIS is for killing my unit," I said, and punched him in the face again. "And THIS...IS FOR HURTING THE CANDY KINGDOM!" I yelled, and kicked him in the face. Jake dropped the now unconscious Lemongrab onto the floor. I kicked the knocked-out Lemongrab again, and we left him there. Then we returned to the fighting.

**3 HOURS LATER**

After 3 long, hard, chaotic hours, we seemed to defeat the Lemongrab clones. We lost 4 Gumball Guardians, and 70 Banana Guards that all fought well, but it was done. They all were dead, or backed off near the exits of the city. As they started to leave, a voice shot through the air. "WAIT!" We all turned. Lemongrab was standing there, blood-streaked. He ran screaming maniacally towards Princess Bubblegum with his sword drawn. And nobody could intercept it. We all watched in terror. Until someone took the blow. Smiley stepped in front of his princess, and the sword plunged into his stomach. He gasped for air, and mumbled, "Not today, fool." Lemongrab looked surprised, and started to scream, but was cut short by me. I punched him in the pace, then pushed him down. I then sat on top of him and punched him repeatedly until his face was bruised and bloody. I then grabbed him by the boot, and dragged the stupid worm towards Bubblegum's castle. I dragged him up the stairs, with him banging his head on every step. I kept carrying him up, until I got to the top. I picked up Lemongrab, and carried him to a window. "THIS...IS...FOR...KILLING...SMILEY!" I screamed, and threw him from the castle window. He flew far, and fell outside of the castle walls, I know that. I then walked downstairs, and out towards everyone else. By the time I had done the deed, all of the clones were killed. I then looked at Princess Bubblegum in the eyes. "Call an ambulance."

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Hope you liked this super long chapter, if you haven't figured out then Smiley is the wounded OC. Chris will be depressed by his wounding for awhile. I'll post either a normal chapter and a short chapter tomorrow, or just one long chapter. Smiley was actually one of Chris's best friends even before the fight. He actually talked to him while Chris was wounded in Chapter 2, but he wasn't known as Smiley. They've become good friends as the fanfic progressed. As of the rest of Chris's unit? Well there are only 4 survivors- Smiley, Wall-E, Chris, and Jason. Jason (if you didn't pick it up in chapter 14) is a Banana Guard with a great sense of humor that caused Chris to nickname him for. Clanker is dead. Jason was actually helping out Chocoberry, and was unable to fight in the unit. Wall-E is gonna get a really cool physical trait next chapter, so stay tuned! Reviews appreciated!


	17. Chapter 17: Death of a Friend

"I do believe that if you haven't learnt about sadness, you cannot appreciate happiness." -Nana Mouskouri

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I watched the ambulance drive off with a lump in my throat. I looked down at my clothing. It was ripped and torn at the edges, and I was splattered with blood. I raised my hand to bite at a fingernail, then stopped. My fingernail had dirt and some blood on it, as did my whole hand and arm. I started to walk towards the Candy Kingdom Hospital.

When I awoke, it was night. I was still in the hospital chair. I had been waiting there when a doctor ran by holding bloodstained bandages screaming, "HE'S DYING!" I then passed out in my chair. I got up, and cracked my stiff neck. I walked into Smiley's room. Smiley wasn't dead, he was breathing, or at least the metal balloons next to him did. He had one of those monitors that told his heartbeat. It beeped steadily. He was bloody. Really bloody. I sat next to my friend. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. I just watched over him, making sure he didn't die. I started falling asleep here and there, but I wasn't tired throughout the night. At 8:00 AM, Smiley woke up. He looked at me. "Hey Smiley," I said, starting our continuing catchphrase. My fruity friend smiled. "Hey Chris..." He coughed, and some blood splattered onto his white blanket. "Whoa there, take it easy," I cautioned. He nodded, and rested back onto the bed. "Were you watching me sleep?" He asked. I chuckled and nodded. He let out a whistle, and then turned on his side. "I'm not gonna make it," He told me. I grabbed him, and turned him towards me. "Listen buddy, you'll make it. You..You have to make it. Please..." I started to break down. His eyes were no starting to fade out, and he muttered his last words to me. "Remember me."

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

I looked over at the machine, tears in my eyes.

I nodded, agreeing to his last words, and started to cry. I hugged my dead friend, and mourned over his loss. After several hours of just sitting there silently, I walked out. Nurse Poundcake was walking by. "Hello Chris, how is your friend?" She asked. I looked at her. "Nurse, he's dead." A shocked expression went into her smiling face. She ran in there. I didn't stick around. I left, and started walking to the Tree Fort. As I left the Candy Kingdom, PB caught up to me. "Chris, how is your-" Her greeting was cut short as I looked at her. I still had tear stains on my eyes and cheeks. "He's dead," I told the gummy princess. I then turned, and walked out.

**3 DAYS LATER**

Jake handed me my bacon pancakes. "Are you ok man?" He said for the second time so far. When Smiley had died, I just walked for several hours doing nothing in particular, and then fell asleep. When I woke up, it was midnight, and I walked back to the Tree Fort. I nibbled at them. They still tasted awesome. "I guess," I replied. Jake nodded, and walked off to talk to Finn about something. I ate the rest of my breakfast, and then placed my head on the table which was facing out the window. I had been sitting in that chair for awhile now. BMO came from nowhere (as usual) and asked, "Chris, are you ok?" I looked at the cute robot. "Yeah, I'm fine," I replied to the curious MO. "Do you want to play video games?" BMO tried again. A smile came unto my face. "Yeah, that would be great." I played video games with BMO for awhile. After that, I walked outside. It was cloudy out. I kept walking, and walking, all the way until I got to the forest. The jeep's imprint wasn't there anymore, but the cross still was. I kept walking, past the abandoned military bunker, and then kept on walking. After awhile, I lay down to rest. It was drizzling out. After drinking from the rain, I decided to head back. The rain had stopped, and now a dagger fell from the sky. I picked it up, and stared at it peculiarly. Then I looked up, and dodged as another knife plunged into the ground. Is this...Oh, no. A KNIFE STORM! I screamed in panic as it started to downpour knives, and dodged another 5 knives falling. Looking around frantically, I saw a large piece of old plywood under a bush. I ducked down and tried to grab it, but it was stuck. I pulled, and pulled, and when it released, a silver knife hit me in the arm. I screamed in agony, and fell over, clutching my bloody arm. Realizing I had to keep pushing on, I grabbed the plywood, and held it over my head. I started to sprint towards the tree house. I was a fast runner, and soon the Tree Fort came into view. By now the Knife Storm had plunged about 20 knives into my plywood, and when I reached the Tree Fort, a final knife cracked the wood. I threw it out of the way as it broke open, and all the knives fell. Panting, I opened the door and walked into the Tree Fort. Finn and Jake were sitting near the door when I walked in. They started to smile, but stopped. "Whoa dude, your arm's all messed up," Finn observed. I chuckled a bit, grabbing my arm (which still had the knife in it). "Ya think?" I replied as Jake ran off to get the first aid kit.

"Okay man, you're all bandaged," Jake said beaming. I looked over at my arm. It was bandaged, with a small circle of red in the center. The knife was gone. I high fived Jake. "Thanks homie," I told him. He nodded. I stood up, and walked over to the window. I guess it rained before a knife storm. Or just two storms at once. No idea. I jumped on the couch, wrapped myself in a blanket, and took a nap.

When I woke up, it was nighttime. I stretched, and got off the couch. BMO was sleeping soundly. I walked to the window. The Knife Storm had stopped. The night was peaceful. I couldn't help but just smile. It was beautiful, with the stars twinkling. I wondered how the Candy Kingdom was doing...

_Princess Bubblegum's P.O.V._

I drank from my coffee cup. A feeling of pity filled me. Chris...I...words cannot express my sorrow for that poor hero. He lost his friend..Smiley, was it? They seemed very close. It would be sad to see him go. Chris had defended the Candy Kingdom twice so far, both with pain in him, this time mentally. He was alot like Finn-Heroic and bold, as well as funny. But Finn wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, while Chris was smart. Finn also didn't consider his thoughts an actions to an extent, while Chris did. He always seemed to think of something before he did it. I was honored to have such a person as a friend. He was strong, too. To my knowledge, he had survived a gunshot, three arrows to the chest, a sword slash in the back, a cut in the arm, and Finn had recently called me and said he was hit in the arm be a knife during the knife storm earlier today. I thought about the new human all night long.

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Thanks for reading! I'll have a new chapter up hopefully tomorrow or on Sunday, as well as on Monday. This was a depressing chapter, to say the least. Tomorrow, I think I'll delve some more into Chris and Marceline's relationship. Depending on your reviews, I could have Chris x Marceline, or..um...Chrisceline? I don't know, tell me your opinions. You have also learned Chris is a fast runner. Not stated in the chapter, but he was on track team for two years prior to the story. Review please, and I'll post your opinions into the chapter tomorrow!


	18. Chapter 18: Chrisceline

"Your greatest awakening comes, when you are aware about your infinite nature." -Amit Ray

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When I woke up, sunlight shafted in through the window. I propped myself up on one elbow on the couch. Getting up, I cracked my back, and then got dressed. I put on my Airwalk sneakers, blue shorts, and my creeper hoodie with a white T-Shirt underneath. Seems good. I walked out the door, heading to Marceline's house. I swung Dawnbreaker, singing. "I'm on top of the world, eh! I'm on top of the world, eh! Been waiting on this for awhile now, paying my dues to the dirt! I've been waiting to smile, eh! Been holding it in for awhile, eh! Take you with me if I can, been dreaming of this since I was a child, I'm on top of the world!" I kept singing the song, until I reached the very end, which just so happened ended when I was at Marceline's house. I wasn't sure what I wanted, but I felt like my presence was drawn to her. I walked up to her front step, and knocked on the door. After a couple seconds, Marceline opened. "Hey Chris. I wanted to talk to you about something," Marceline said. I nodded. "Me too," I told her. I stepped in, and sat on the couch, which wasn't unbearable. "Um...how do I say this..." She started. "I feel like I've liked you for awhile now. It's just kinda weird. I just feel it," She told me. I got up off the couch, and held a finger on her lips. "You making your move?" She asked, grinning. I nodded. "Yup," I said to the vampire, and kissed her on the lips.

_Finn's P.O.V_

Jake and I were walking the streets of the Candy Kingdom, headed to PB's place. She had a mission for us. We were about to enter her castle when a Banana Guard ran up to us. He was MATHEMATICAL! His left arm was a robot one. "Hey Finn and Jake," the guard greeted us. "Do you know where Chris is?" He asked. We both shook our head. He frowned, then waved goodbye and ran off. Jake and I kept walking up to the tower. Arriving at PB's door, we walked in. "Hey P-Bubs," I greeted the gummy princess. She waved, then looked concerned. "Where's Chris?" She asked. "Oh, he went to Marceline's," Jake told her. I looked at Peebles. She looked ticked off. "Anyways," She said. "There's a demon terrorizing the grounds of the Candy Kingdom. Do you think you can handle it?" She asked. "I dunno. I don't think a Demon will get hurt with a Demon BLOOD sword," I said. Nonetheless, we continued, and started to run down to attack the demon with the robot-arm guard and a couple others. When the battle was over, everyone was panting, and had some type of blood on their body. "WOO!" I yelled enthusiastically, and then fist bumped Jake and everyone else.

_Chris's P.O.V_

After relaxing with Marceline for awhile (and alot more kisses), I decided to head home. As I started to leave, I turned around and hugged Marceline. "You're not gonna suck my blood, right?" I asked her, still hugging. She laughed. "I'll try," She replied. I sighed, and then let go of the hug, and started to walk...no, jog...no, run...no, SPRINT towards home. I was so pumped and happy, and had butterflies in my stomach. I kept singing "On top of the world" by Imagine Dragons. It was appropriate. I walked in the front door, a huge smile on my face. "Hey dude, you're pumped. What's happening?" Finn asked. I leaned down, and kept panting from the run home. "Um, I'm not gonna lie here," I said in between breaths. "Marceline's a great kisser." Finn's jaw dropped. Then it turned into a grin. He slapped me on the back in a friendly manner. "Way to go man!" He congratulated me. I then walked into the kitchen, and devoured a turkey and cheese sandwich Jake made. Delicious. I sat back in my chair for awhile and took a nap. When I woke up, I decided to head to the Candy Kingdom. I had two things to find out, both of which related to my unit. Where was Jason, the other guard that wasn't there during the battle? And two, what happened to Wall-E? Smiley said he moved him to the hospital, but did he suffer a fate similar to Smiley's? I got off the chair, and then went to the door. Opening it, I started to jog to the Candy Kingdom. After a couple minutes, I arrived there. I started to walk through the streets. The Candy People walking by smiled and nodded at me. After a little bit, I saw a guard walk up to me. He had a robotic arm. "It's me, Wall-E!" The guard exclaimed. A grin spread across my face. "I thought you were dead, man!" I said excitedly. "I did too," He replied. We both laughed.

"Dude, you're hardcore!"

"Yeah, I'm harder than you."

I stifled a laugh and tried really hard not to say, "If you know what I mean." After pretending to cough (and laughing), I chatted with him for a bit, and then we said goodbye and left. As I turned, I saw Princess Bubblegum staring at me. "Hello Chris," She said. "Um, who was the person that you kissed first in your life?" She asked. To be honest, that was Marceline. Pecks on the cheek are not kissing, as I did with Erin. I hadn't been going out with her for that long to happen. We were friends for several years before we were dating, and even then, we didn't kiss on the lips. "Well...the first person I kissed was...Marceline," I told her. A shocked expression came over her. "You did what?" She yelled. "I'm not ashamed that I kissed her. She's beautiful. Is there a PROBLEM with me kissing her, Princess?" I replied, slightly angry. She shook her head, and her shocked expression turned into a smile. "You passed," She told me. I was about to ask, but then Marceline flew over me, winking. So that means...I just got set up. I turned and watched her fly off into the night sky, smiling.

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Sorry if this chapter wasn't...romantic...enough, and the time is messed up a bit. At the start, it's morning/noon, after Chris went to Marceline's it's evening, and then when Chris headed to the kingdom it was dusk. So Marceline and Chris have feelings for each other (and expressed them), and Wall-E has survived. Yes, Wall-E is from the Disney animation. But I had just watched it before posting that chapter. I'll nickname him Cyborg in the next chapter. I don't know if Marceline and Chris are dating yet. Anyways, leave your opinions in those awesome reviews you guys keep sending me. Not sure about next chapter. And the part where Chris tried not to laugh actually is based on a real-life event. See you all tomorrow!


	19. Chapter 19: Flung

"You can decorate absence however you want- but your still gonna feel what's missing." -Unknown

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Finn, Jake and I were walking towards the Candy Kingdom when we found it. It was a small chest, buried in the ground. "What do you think is in it?" Jake asked as I lifted it. I shrugged, and popped open the chest. A small apple was sitting in it. An apple...cloaked in solid gold! "Dudes! It's a golden apple!" I yelled. Finn fist pumped the air. "That's our 10th one! Let's call it TheGoldenApple10!" Finn replied, smiling. I nodded, and put it in my backpack. We continued to the kingdom.

"Good you're here, boys!" Princess Bubblegum greeted. "Listen," She told us. "Lemongrab isn't dead. I received a hateful letter from him replying that he will strike in a month. With 100,000 clones," She finished. Finn and Jake whistled, while I stood there. "H...H-How is he not dead?" I got out. PB shrugged. "We need to commence another operation in order to finish his army off," Bubblegum proposed. We all nodded in agreement.

**THAT EVENING**

PB and I were crouching in the bushes near the castle entrance, like last time. It wasn't soon before Finn and Jake lit off firecrackers...then fireworks. The guard stepped forward. "Huh?" He exclaimed. The guard also had steel armor on. Taking out my dagger, I seized him, holding him by the mouth. The startled guard instantly started struggling, and trying to scream words. The guard was flailing by the time I placed my dagger around his throat. In a quick motion, I slid the knife across his neck, and he slowly stopped struggling. I threw the dead body a couple feet away, and PB and I opened the door. There were still 2 clones guarding the dining room. Both of them were holding bows. They aimed at us and fired. We both ducked. Rapidly taking the crossbow off of my leg, I aimed, and instantly fired at the clone standing on the dining table. It hit him in the forehead, and he fell backwards, sprawled onto the table. Reloading, I dodged the other arrow sent at me. I aimed at him, and shot. My arrow was misplaced, and instead hit the part of the balcony he was standing on (top of the stairs to the left). Because of this, he lost hit footing, and fell screaming onto the floor, and lay there motionless. We both ran in. The gummy princess looked at the clone. "Think he's alive?" She asked. I shook my head. "His neck is bent at an impossible angle. No way he survived that," I responded, and then we both ran up to the stairs, and opened the door. This time a clone was waiting for us. I reacted quickly and shot him in the stomach. He moaned in pain, and then fell backwards, clutching the arrow lodged deep within him. I reloaded, and placed the crossbow against where his ear should be, and fired, killing him out of pity. The rest of the hallway was empty. We ran to the cloning room. It was empty. Finn and Jake had clearly announced the attention of almost every clone. There was a large balcony nearby. While Princess Bubblegum started defusing the timer (and taking out a large bomb), I headed outside to wait. A clone was flung onto the balcony facing the door. He had a large cut across his face. I heard a door close. Looking over, I saw the original Lemongrab standing at the end of the doorway. "YOU," I yelled at him. "YOU!" He screamed, recognizing me. He drew his blade and shield, and started to full-on sprint towards me. "PRINCESS! HURRY UP!" I yelled. "Hold on," She replied. "I defused it; I just have to hide the bomb...there we go. The clones should deactivate soon!" Then she walked out. Lemongrab collided into me. I tried to fight, but he bashed me with his shield. When Princess Bubblegum tried to fight, Lemongrab picked her up, and threw her against the wall, weakening her. He dropped his sword and shield and picked us up by the tops of our clothing, like the way you shouldn't pick up a cat. And he walked outside to the balcony.

Lemongrab held us high above the ground, staring at Finn and Jake. The clones had died at this point, and lay scattered EVERYWHERE. Finn and Jake stared up. "MAKE YOUR CHOICE, HEROES!" Lemongrab screamed. "THE LOVELY PRINCESS, OR THE BOLD ADVENTURER!" We both stared at them, with sad eyes. Finn looked super troubled and concerned. "PICK! OR I'LL KILL THEM BOTH!" He hollered. "PB! I PICK PB!" Finn screamed back, and then sank to the ground, and curled up in a ball, and started weeping. "Excellent choice," He said smugly, and set her down. Then he focused his hands on me. Using all of his strength, he picked me up and hurtled me from the balcony.

Falling. I didn't hit the ground. I kept falling. I fell past the castle. He missed his shot, like I did with him. I kept falling. All I could see were my arms, my gloved hands, my legs, my boots, and the falling background around me. Then I hit the ground, and everything went black.

_Finn's P.O.V. _

"Chris...CHRIS!" I screamed. Princess Bubblegum and Jake were searching around the castle, and I was looking down, into the long way down. "Where are you?" I got out, my voice cracking. Jake and P-Bubs appeared, with solemn faces. "Finn...I think he's down there..." Jake told me, pointing down into the area far underneath the road. I got out a small little animal sound, and then broke down crying. I kept crying, and eventually PB and Jake did too. We all cried for our friend. I kept muttering his name, and then I fell asleep.

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Sorry about a short chapter! I'm just really caught up in school. I hope you caught my username reference in there! Please Follow, Fav, and Review! More chapters to come!


	20. Chapter 20: If I ever get out of here

"Wanting to end your life while you're alive is worse than death itself!" -Glen Rambharack

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When I awoke, it was night. I was still on the ground. I coughed, and lifted my body up with my elbows. In the show, there was a path leading up to Lemongrab's castle, and there's a deep drop down. I probably fell down there. But...how did I survive? Didn't matter, I had to- I suddenly screamed in pain. My leg...I screamed again. It was probably broken. I reached over to my backpack, and pulled out the flare gun. With shaking hands, I put the flare in, and pulled the trigger. My vision faded out as the flare flew into the sky.

The next few days...or...hours...or...whatever, were in and out. I was fading out. Once I woke up, and saw a red button. Then I faded out. I finally woke up, with no more grogginess. I slowly dragged myself to the button, and pressed it. A door opened. I dragged my way through. The room was so white...so calming. A sign read, "LEMONGRAB AFTERMATH SHELTER" on it. I flopped over on my back, and noticed the slime trail I left behind, or my blood trail. I probably ripped or cut something. I let out a sigh, and fell asleep again.

I woke up covered in sweat. Propping myself up on one elbow, I surveyed the room some more. There were three doors, and a staircase. In the room was a TV, a couch, a table, and a bed. Getting up very slowly, I pressed the red button and closed the door. Limping, I opened the first door. A bathroom. Seems appropriate. I opened the next door. There were several small plants with apples growing on them. Inspecting the apples, I noticed they had no brown spots on them, and looked ripe. I grabbed one, feeling terrible hunger, and ate it. It tasted wonderful. I ate the rest of the apple, and then threw it out in a trash barrel near the entrance. I was limping to the couch, and then a huge sharp pain went through my leg. "AGH! Mother...fucker..." I growled in pain. I crawled to the couch, and got myself onto it. Feeling the pain slowly dissolve, I looked up at the ceiling. "Heh, Chris, you really screwed up this time," I said to myself, chuckling a bit. I closed my eyes, and just rested. I think I'll be hear for a bit.

**NARRATION**

And so life in Ooo went on. Princess Bubblegum and Marceline were talking and interacting more than ever, and Finn and Jake had gone into sadness. It was as if a sadness switch in Ooo had gone off. Everyone was sad. Nothing went wrong, Ice King didn't capture any princesses. It was gloomy. Chris, however, was healing slowly. He had plenty of water to drink, and plenty of food to eat. He missed the land of Ooo. Upon inspecting the staircase, it led up to a ladder going really far up. Here we continue from Chris's point of view, one month later.

_Chris's P.O.V._

I was eating a salad from the greenhouse on the couch when I dropped my fork. Cursing, I got off the couch to pick it up. I sucked my teeth in pain, but I could still walk. My limp was almost gone, but still pain. I finished the salad, and put it on the table. Picking up my backpack on the floor, I decided today was the day when I climbed the ladder. I walked to the staircase, and waved goodbye to the empty room that saved my life. The gloves PB gave me had ripped and were torn and worn anyways, so I didn't have them. I started to the ladder, and started to climb. Halfway through, I felt an awful pain. I decided to sing."

"Someday, I'll wish upon a star, and wake up where the clouds are far behind me - ee -ee -ee."

I put my hand on another rung. "Where trouble melts like lemon drops, high above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me."

3/4 of the way there. "Somewhere, over the rainbow, bluebirds fly, And the dream that you dare to, why, oh why cant I -ee -I?"

At the top was a trapdoor. Mustering all my strength, I pushed it open. As I did that, I lost my footing. "Shit!" I yelled, before saving myself and grabbing a rung. I climbed to the top, feeling weak. I grunted, and threw myself over onto the ground. Without moving my head, I looked around. I was at Castle Lemongrab, in the corner of the courtyard. I fell asleep. When I woke up, it was dark. I got up, and started limping to the castle entrance. I reached it and started down the road.

_Finn's P.O.V_

BMO and Jake were sitting on the couch, sad. I was pacing the room, even though Chris was probably dead. Then, Jake pointed out the window. "What's that light?" He asked. I turned. There was an orange flicker in the distance. Jake got off the couch, and came to stare out the window with me. Over time, it got closer. Then I saw that it was a torch. And a dude was holding it. When the figure stood in front of the tree fort, I saw it. "JAKE! THAT'S CHRIS!" I yelled happily. BMO started clapping and laughing in joy behind us. We dashed to the door. "Chris...is that you bro?" Jake asked. Chris smiled. "I think I am," He said. BMO ran up from behind us and hugged his leg. Suddenly, Chris fell down. "Are you ok homie?" I asked. He stared blankly at me. "Um, I think I broke my leg," He replied.

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Hope you enjoyed this chapter! SO SORRY about the lateness! I'll try to post more often! Please like, favorite, and follow! Next chapter there will be another (possibly human) OC. See you guys next chapter!


	21. Chapter 21: Justin

"I was not designed to be forced. I will breathe after my own fashion. Let us see who is the strongest." -Henry David Thoreau

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_Justin's P.O.V_

I woke up under the tree. Grabbing my journal, I started to write down my entry. "Day 154: Low on food and water. Heading into the town to get supplies," I jotted down, and then started walking towards the destroyed town.

"Wonder how Chris is doing," I wondered aloud as I walked the streets, rifle in hands. I didn't see him during the fights. Probably dead. That sucked. He was pretty cool; We were close friends. I peered into a crumbled building. Nothing. I wanted to continue but I heard a noise. Instantly spinning around, I saw two men. They were bandits. Both of them wore all black clothing with the exception of a white hoodie. One of them had a ski mask on, and the other had a grey cap on with a bandanna covering him mouth. "Hey kid," Ski Mask Guy greeted. "That's a nice rifle, can I have it?" Bandanna Mouth asked. I glared at them. "Aw, Mack, he doesn't wanna give it up," Ski Mask Guy said to Bandanna Mouth, who was Mack. Mack slowly turned and raised his shotgun, and pointed it at me. "Give me the gun. Sport," Mack threatened. Quickly, I thought of something. I punched Mack in the jaw, and then kicked Ski Mask Guy. I darted behind Mack and held my arm around his throat, the other aimed at the bandit. I fired. Small holes splattered the white hoodie, along with blood. Ski Mask Guy fell over in the snow, dead. "Mother...fucker!" Mack cursed. Drawing a pistol from Matt's pockets and positioned it on the side of his head, and pulled the trigger. The struggling bandit stopped moving, and went limp. I flung the body aside and continued with the pistol.

Several hours later, I stopped at a burned-down house. After checking the pistol for ammo (3 bullets), I started to drink some water, and then panicked as I heard a sound behind me. I whipped around and fired my three bullets instantly. A purple portal was right there...right fucking there! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING? I dropped the pistol and stared at it. The portal was cracked and slowly shrinking. Then, a voice escaped from it. "LAST CHANCE," It shouted. _Fuck logic_, I thought, and dashed forward and hopped into the shrinking portal.

The portal sealed, and I fell onto grassy fields. Is this...yep, Adventure Time. Who sick fuck would create an alternate universe based on a *awesome* cartoon? Figuring I passed out, I pinched myself. Nope. I grabbed the grass and pulled. I could feel it. I don't know what's going on. I think the portal led to a real-life version of Ooo! I peered around the sky, amazed. Until a certain finger touched me. I wheeled around to see Princess Bubblegum staring at me. "Who are you?" She asked. "I...I'm Justin...who are you?" I replied. "_I _am Princess Bubblegum, of the Candy Kingdom. Follow me, I have one of your friends," She said matter of factly.'

_Chris's P.O.V. _

I was chilling in PB's tower, talking to Wall-E, who I had nicknamed Cyborg, about how I survived after being flung from the castle, when the princess herself walked in, with a person behind her. "Do you know who this is?" She asked, pointing to the person. The person stepped into view. My mouth dropped. "Justin?" I asked. He broke into a grin. "Hey, bro," He greeted. I ran up to him and fist bumped. Cyborg and Princess Bubblegum smiled. "We'll leave you two to get reacquainted," Cyborg said, and then the banana guard and the gummy princess left us alone. I couldn't wait to get caught up with my second best friend. "So, to be clear, this is Ooo, right?" He started. I rolled my eyes and nodded.

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Hope you loved this new chapter! Sorry about the lack of text, so I'll have an extra one. Here we have another OC, Justin! I'll determine last names later, but here's how the story will go on for a bit. Next chapter will be some Chrisceline. Leave your opinions and ideas in the reviews, and see you next chapter!


	22. Chapter 22: Catching Up

"Without laughter, we'd all go insane." -Unknown

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_Princess Bubblegum's P.O.V._

Marceline and I watched the two humans sit by the fire, who were laughing and talking. We were watching from the tower, so the fire they started was a couple meters in front of the castle window. They seemed so...happy. I couldn't make out what they were talking about, but I heard "Ooo" and "Apocalypse" and "Portal" here and there. After a couple minutes of watching them in the twinkling sunlight, I saw a small purple figure start moving towards them. "CHRIS!" I yelled. He turned towards me. I pointed, and he looked over with Justin. I saw his eyes dilate in terror, as LSP started moving towards them quicker. Chris screamed in terror as she came out of the darkness. She leaped onto Justin's chest and brought him down, and started kissing his covered chest. "HOLY CRAP, HELP!" He screamed. In panic, Chris tried to kick the boy-crazy princess, and instead she latched onto his boot, and started snuggling with it. By now, Marceline and I were doubled over, laughing. Justin pried the blob off of Chris's boot, and Lumpy Space Princess was flailing as he held her up

"W-What do we do man?!" Justin asked, stuttering. Chris opened his mouth to speak, but the princess broke free and fell on Justin's face, and kissed him on the cheek. He was about to scream something to Chris, but then she licked his cheek. Justin let out this bloodcurdling scream, and then LSP jumped onto Chris's leg, and started making out with it. "THE FLARES, THE FLARES!" Chris screamed, and Justin nodded, and started towards Chris's backpack, but the girl jumped onto HIM now, and clung to his waist. "GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" Justin yelled. Marceline was red in the face, and I was probably red too from laughing. Chris scrambled towards his backpack, took out a gun, pointed it towards the sky, and pulled the trigger. LSP unlatched from Justin's waist, and watched the flare go off. The two boys then ran. "Hey, get your stupid lumps BACK HERE!" Lumpy Space Princess yelled, but they were gone. After the tears of laughter had stopped, we peered over the edge again. Justin and Chris were panting, with Justin on the ground. "Dude, I think we lost her," Chris said in between breaths. Justin only nodded. After a bit, Chris extended an arm to his friend. We were watching until LSP kicked open the door, and then flew towards us. We dodged out of the way as the purple princess jumped off the edge. Justin screamed, and Chris looked up as she landed on his head. **SMOOCH!**

Lumpy Space Princess released from the kiss. Chris responded by flinging LSP off of him, and then leaning down and vomiting. He grabbed his backpack, and the two started to sprint away as LSP called after them (not moving), "I know you want my lumps! I knoooooowwww!" We would not stop laughing. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

_Chris's P.O.V._

"HOLY SHIT, MAN! HOLY SHIT!" I screamed, running through the grass lands. "Dude, think we lost her?" Justin asked, not slowing down after awhile. "I don't know!" I panted back in response, and kept running. After several minutes, we just flung our bodies onto the ground, panting. "Dude, I'm beat," He said. "Word," I agreed. He yawned.

"Night Chris."

"Good night, dirt lover."

But my response was useless. We just slept on the ground. The cold, hard ground.

**THAT MORNING**

I woke up in a comfy, soft bed. I looked around, and stepped out of bed. Walking downstairs, I saw Marceline strumming in the living room of her house. She winked. "'Bout time, tree hugger," She teased. "Hey. I didn't even sleep in a tree," I responded with a smile on my face. I looked around the room. "Where's Justin?" She put down the bass. "I took him to the tree fort," She replied. I smiled again, knowing why she took me here. I walked towards the vampire. She opened her mouth to make a remark, but I held a finger to my lips. She cocked an eyebrow and grinned. I was getting cocky. But I don't care. I leaned in and kissed her. It was a long kiss. When we finally released, Marceline commented, "Better than LSP's, huh?" I blushed in embarrassment, and to cover it up, kissed the vampire on the lips again.

_Justin's P.O.V_

I was sorting through my backpack. "Let's see here..." I said, to nobody in particular. My iPhone, which hasn't been charged in weeks. A picture of Chris during an airsoft war. He had on a mask, and was all camouflaged. It was pretty cool. And...another flare gun. Damn. Where did I even find this? Where did Chris find his? They're not just frickin lying around on the street. A notepad with my Skype, Facebook, Twitter, and every other social network written down. Why do I keep junk like this? Unless Chris has a Skype. I forgot. My Skype username is... gamelover41592. Eh, not that bad. And I am a gamer, so it's pretty appropriate. I started walking through the tree fort, humming the Turret Opera from Portal 2. It was a beautiful song. I just decided to stroll around, for no reason. After awhile, I saw a purple blob flying towards me in the distance. I squinted, and then gasped. LSP. I turned, and started to run. "Run like a motherfucker, run like a motherfucker, RUN LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!" I chanted to myself. Not the best motivation, but I'm running, and that's all that matters. When it seemed that the terrifying thing trying to make out with me had caught up with me, I suddenly saw myself flying upwards. I could see the ground below me, my legs, and my sneakers. I looked up, and saw Marceline, with a hat on, carrying Chris. Who was carrying me. "Hey dude," He greeted.

* * *

Thanks for reading yet another chapter of Chris the Human! I came up with a LSP chasing Justin and Chris around the campfire while I was in bed last night, there was more than what you read. So this chapter delves slightly into Chrisceline and had some catching up time with Chris. It actually isn't revealed in the text, but they talked a bit about how they got there. Before LSP tried to make out with them. If someone's review is valued to me, I'll throw 'em in the chapter somewhere, like the Snail in the show. There isn't alot of Finn and Jake here, but between chapters Justin and them have become acquainted with each other. Also, I'll include some reviewer-directed answers.

**gamelover41592: **Pick up the reference I added in for you? I appreciate your reviews, man. I do. You're awesome.

**Guest:** Ha ha, no, not yet. I don't think I ever will. XD

**lilaclilly00: **If you didn't get my PM, then yes, I will, somewhere in the story, either mentioned, another OC (Idk if it's a human or something else), but you will be added into the story!


	23. Chapter 23: The Helicopter

"The most valuable gift you can receive is an honest friend." -Stephen Richards

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The helicopter tipped. "Shit!" I exclaimed as the whole chopper almost fell off the tree. It send me rolling down the main area of the helicopter, and I would have fallen out, but I grabbed those metal rods used to land. Then Justin fell out. I grabbed his hand as he screamed. The chopper was gonna fall of the tree. "God...DAMN IT!" I grunted as I held my best friend and myself from falling off the chopper. I looked down. Justin dangled helplessly with the support of my hand. "Dude," I said. "I think we're screwed."

**EARLIER THAT DAY**

"Finn and Jake, Justin and I are headed to check out the forest!" I yelled into the Tree Fort. I got on my blue shorts and my Airwalk sneakers, donning an ash-colored hoodie. After walking down into the living room, I chatted with Jake for a bit about how awesome sandwiches are while Finn and Justin wrestled. Eventually, Justin beat the blonde hero, and stood up, panting. NOBODY fought with Justin at our school. He wasn't a huge jock with gigantic muscles, he was pretty similar to me in body structure. Finn grinned when he stood. "Now get out there," He said, slapping Justin on the back. I followed my friend out.

On the way, I figured Justin is my new best friend. I hadn't brought Dawnbreaker, only a knife. Justin had the flare gun. At the foot of the jungle, we heard a nasal voice. "HEEEEEEYYY!" It called. Justin turned around, and pointed silently. LSP was about 30 feet away from us, moving fast. "Into the bushes!" I said, and we both dove into a nearby bush. Justin was a couple inches from me. We could see clearly a couple feet. Lumpy Space Princess's body hovered near the bush, then looked around the jungle, muttered, "You're losing your lumps, girl," and left. After we waited a couple minutes, I got up, walked out of the bush, then went back into the bush, cut Justin free of the ivy he was entangled in, and we continued. "What the hell are we even looking for?" Justin asked. "Bro. I found a Jeep. Then it exploded. I want a new one," I told him. I heard my friend chuckle. We stopped to eat some turkey-and-cheese sandwiches Jake packed for us, and then continued. After several boring minutes, Justin punched my shoulder to get my attention, and pointed upwards. "Dude. What is that shit?" He asked.

"Dumbass, it's a helicopter!" I scolded him. He stepped in front of me, went _oh_, and then looked at me. "We do dis?" He asked. "We do dis," I replied. I scaled a nearby tree, and then let my friend climb up, who isn't exactly a ballerina. I took a running start, and jumped across the tree. I grabbed with two hands, and went along the branches until I reached the top of the tree, where the abandoned helicopter was. I looked over. Justin was on the ground, with dirt on him. I grinned, and clapped. "Congratulations!" I cheered. "Shut up," he groaned. "Just get me up here," He said. I nodded, and then got to the top of the tree. I clambered in, and took out the ladder, and tossed it down. When Justin was at the top, it broke free and fell down. As did Justin's leg. He started sliding off, but I grabbed him. "I...Gotcha," I grunted, and pulled him in. We both stood up, and looked around. Justin walked into the cockpit, as did I. The cracked windshield had bullet holes in it, and dried blood was on the controls. Justin flipped a switch. "It's not gonna work," I told him. There were 2 pilots. Both of them had green masks over their mouth. Both with blood on them. Both with their heads lowered. "Poor bastards," Justin muttered, lifting up the chin of one. We started to walk into the main area, and then we heard a creaking. "You hear that?" Justin asked.

**PRESENT**

The helicopter started to tip more. "Nice knowing you, Justin," I told my best friend. He nodded. "Nice knowing you too, Chris," He replied. And then the helicopter fell. 50 feet. Onto the ground. We were screaming. I felt all sorts of pain. I was breathing through my teeth rapidly. "Damn it, that hurts," I cursed. Then I opened my eyes. I was on the ground, inside the overturned helicopter. Justin was several near the cockpit, stuck on a piece of ivy he somehow entangled himself in. Grabbing my machete, I reached over, pried the machete in between him and the ivy, and made a swift cutting motion. My friend immediately dropped to the ground, and lay there motionless. I dropped the machete, and looked to my right, before fading to black.

**.**

**.**

**.**

When I awoke, I was cold. Slowly opening my eyes, I saw I was in...crap. The Ice King's layer. I was encased in a large block of ice, with my neck and my head not being frozen. Jake was in the block of ice too, as well as Finn, who's head was sticking through the side, not the top. Justin was next to me, his hand frozen in the position of the middle finger. "Hey, Chris...We're not dead!" He exclaimed. I rolled my eyes and nodded. Ice King appeared out of nowhere. "Hey guys!" He greeted. "In exchange for me saving your friends' lives, Finn..." Ice King started. "We get story time!" He finished. I groaned. Justin squinted at him as he pulled a book from his robe. "It's called The Adventures of Fionna, Cake, Christina, and Jessica!" He said happy. "Hey Ice King. FUCK YOU!" Justin yelled at him. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. He opened the book, and started reading. "Once upon a time..."

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Thanks for reading yet another chapter of Chris the Human! I appreciate your reviews, and it really helps me out alot! So in this chapter, basically, Justin and Chris find a helicopter, everything goes wrong, and now they're going to read about Aaa! Isn't that GREAT! And we can clearly see Justin isn't a fan of Ice King right now. So next chapter will clearly be a Gender-bender chapter. The names seem appropriate for Chris and Justin. Christina wears the same clothing as Chris, but with cowboy boots instead. Not that big a difference. And after the gender-bender, a great evil will rise, once again.

**Jlyman:** I tried to answer your request for Ice King. 2 chapters later will also be an answer for your request. As far as your love requests...I'll have to figure that out.

**lilaclily00: **Mail me saying what species your character should be (Elf, Human, etc.) and I'll get back to you. I have an idea for a Water Princess that Ice King creates (she's a solid person), so if you want that, tell me. Otherwise I guess I'll try to get something else in there. Thanks for reviewing!


	24. Chapter 24: The Land of Aaa

"I am a rare species, not a stereotype." -Ivan E. Coyote

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_Story_

Christina chased after the red demon with Jessica, while Fionna and Cake went after the orange one. Christina jumped on the tail of the beast, and Jessica used her as a launch pad to hurtle up to the demon's head. Christina, still latched onto the tail, tossed up her sword, BreakerDawn, to Jessica. She caught it and with a quick slash, ended the demon. Jessica then jumped off the demon and flung Christina's sword at the other demon, and the sword killed it instantly. Jessica landed on the ground perfectly. Christina walked up to her friend, and they fist-bumped. Fionna and Cake jogged over. "Nice job, Jessica!" Fionna complimented. Jessica, panting, nodded. "Um, Guys?" Christina said. "Where's my sword?" Jessica went silent, looking at the dead demon.

"Hey guys, we were invited to another one of Prince Gumball's balls," Fionna said, looking over the letter. Jessica chuckled; Christina punched her. "Let's go to it," Christina said. "Marshall Lee will be there," Fionna teased, winking. Christina blushed. "Wait wait wait wait WAIT," Jessica said. "What?" Christina blushed again, kicking her cowboy boots on the wooden floor. "Yeah...we're sorta...dating?" She explained. Jessica just stared, with a "You're insane" looks.

**AT THE BALL**

Fionna was talking to Prince Gumball with Cake, Jessica was talking uncertainly to make a truce with Lumpy Space Prince, and Christina was relaxing, leaning against a wall. "Hey there," Marshall Lee greeted, coming out of nowhere. After laughing nervously, and chatting, Marshall Lee held her hand. "Hey, I got a song for you," He said. He flew up to the stage. "Attention, Attention everyone!" He yelled, clapping. _Screw it_, the Vampire King thought, and took out his bass, and stared to sing.

Turn up the bass, turn up the treble,  
I'm about to take it to a whole another level!  
DJ turn off what you're playin',  
I want the whole club to hear what I'm sayin'!  
Because this girl means so much to me,  
And now we're on the floor and she touchin' me.  
And if I wanna take her home  
It's gotta be better than what they do on the radio!

It's gotta be the crunkest  
It's gotta be the loudest  
It's gotta be the best (the best) love song she ever heard in her life  
I gotta tell her how I feel  
I gotta let her hear, the best love song she ever heard in her life  
No need for me to write it, I just gotta picture her smilin,  
And if you feel that way  
Go 'head and kiss your baby  
And now we've got the whole stadium in love like eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Turn up the lights, give me a mic  
I'm bout' to sing it to her just how she likes  
Jump off the stage bombs away,  
Crowd surfin' all the way (cowabunga)  
You know it's right, just do the wave  
Girl just move your body like a snake  
And if you wanna get with me  
Put your hands in the air, show me that energy

_[Chorus:]_  
It's gotta be the crunkest  
It's gotta be the loudest  
It's gotta be the best (the best) love song she ever heard in her life  
I gotta tell her how I feel  
I gotta let her hear, the best love song she ever heard in her life  
No need for me to write it, I just gotta picture her smilin,  
And if you feel that way  
Go 'head and kiss your baby  
And now we've got the whole stadium in love like eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh

Homie kiss your girl  
Shawty kiss your man  
We can see you on the kissing cam  
Now show me some love (yeah yeah)  
Show me some love (yeah yeah)  
Now look her in the eye, say baby I love you  
I never put no one above you  
And if you feel that way  
Go ahead and kiss your baby  
And now we've got the whole stadium in love like eh  
And if you feel that way  
Go ahead and kiss your baby  
And now we've got the whole stadium in love like  
Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh  
Oh, oh, oh

He finished off the song. After everyone was clapping and the couples were dancing to the beat, the vampire flew to the blushing-beyond-normal-ability girl. "So what do you say we...go someplace else?" He said, holding out his hand. Christina was about to accept it, but then stopped. "I don't think this relationship can work, Marshall," She replied. Marshall Lee looked dumbfounded. "W-Why?" He asked. "I kinda have this thing. For the Ice King?" she admitted. "Oh yeah, he's really hot," Fionna said, coming from nowhere. Cake nodded in approval, as did Jessica. "Dang that Ice King, always stealing the cute girls," Marshall cursed. "Hey," Fionna suggested. "Let's go to Ice King's right now. It should be-"

**"HELL NO!"**

_Chris's P.O.V._

I looked over, and saw Justin glaring. "NO, ICE KING!" Justin repeated. "THAT'S NASTY!" Ice King looked at my friend. I couldn't help but start laughing. It was pretty hilarious. Justin's arm had melted, and he was holding the flare gun in that hand when he was frozen. He fired the flare gun, and it went through a window. "YEOWZA!" Ice King exclaimed. "Stay...frosty...motherfucker!" Justin screamed, and threw the flare gun. It hit Ice King in the stomach. "Ok, OK! I'LL LET YOU FREE! Calm down, ya jerk," Ice King mumbled, and unfroze us. Justin stopped his hostile behavior towards the Ice King, and wordlessly pulled a parachute out of of his backpack, strapped it on, and jumped out holding his backpack. "Who is he again?" Ice King asked. I smiled. "That there is Justin Mabie. A true hero," I replied, standing next to the old man. He looked at me, then at Finn and Jake, who were flopping around like fish on the ground.

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Thanks for reading this chapter! I agree to the fact


	25. Chapter 25: End of a Lemon

"The world is a dangerous place to live; not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it." -Albert Einstein

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"Okay, people," Princess Bubblegum said. "Lemongrab had sent me YET ANOTHER threatening letter. What we're going to do is attack his kingdom, taking out the clones. Then I'll, in the company of several guards, with defuse and destroy the cloning machine. Then we'll take him to the Candy Kingdom and erase the parts of his memory that include making the cloning machine. Does it sound like a plan?" Justin, myself, Finn, Jake, Cyborg, and a couple other guards nodded. "Good! We'll be assembling at noon."

**NOON**

The 50 guards on foot and the were following the two helicopters which were flying towards Lemongrab's castle. Justin and I were in the first helicopter, with three other guards and two pilots. The second helicopter held 5 guards, pilots not included. Soon, Lemongrab's castle came into view. "You ready for this?" I asked Justin. He drew his crossbow. "Yeah," He said. "Let's do this." I smiled, and drew my crossbow as well. Suddenly, a large lemon flew through the castle, and bashed in the windshield of the second helicopter. I saw a guard get flung from the helicopter, screaming. I heard the other pilot's voice through the radio. "This is chopper CK-2! We are hit! We're going down! Mayday Mayday! Repeat, we are going-" His sentence was cut short as the helicopter (and its occupants) smashed into a wall, and plummeted into the fog below. "What the hell just happened?!" Justin asked. "Giant lemons," I answered. Justin opened his mouth, but a lemon flew past the chopper. "Locking on...Firing...targets neutralized," The pilot announced. Then another giant lemon flew through the helicopter, and was lodged halfway through. "Holy shit!" I yelled, backing up near the cockpit with Justin next to me. The lemon slowly dislodged from the chopper, but not before hitting a guard and sending him flying off the helicopter. Then an arrow went through the helicopter windshield, killing one of the pilots. "This is chopper CK-1! 2 casualties confirmed so far, including my copilot. Requesting assistance! Repeat, requesting assistance!" The guard shouted through his radio. "Confirmed, we'll try to do what we can!" A voice replied into the chopper. I nodded at Justin, and we fired our crossbows at the castle. We could see the clone archers, and they were good. I ducked as an arrow flew past me-right into the throat of another guard. He fell backwards. Then one giant lemon came by again, and this time, got stuck in the windshield. "Chopper CK-1! Going down. Repeat, we are going down! Mayday, Mayday!" The pilot yelled. "Fucking jump man!" I screamed at Justin, and we both hurled ourselves from the helicopter. We hit the pathway bridge thing hard. "Damn it...That fucking hurt, man," I heard Justin mumble. "Swearing always helps you with pain, dude," I told him, and I heard him chuckle before we got up. The Banana Guards were now at the castle, so we moved up. This was like a battle. There were multiple pieces of cover, from barrels to overturned picnic tables. We ran behind one. "What's going on?" I asked. The guard turned to me. "Archers got us pinned!" He reported. I reloaded my crossbow, and shot an archer. "Kill confirmed!" I said. Justin looked at me, and then shot again. And that's how it went for a little bit. It went from 3 guards, Justin, and myself behind that piece of cover to one dead guard and one wounded one. "I've gotta attend to his arm!" The guard cried. "Try to get around!" We both nodded in agreement.

Justin took out a bunch C4 from his backpack. "Where the fuck did you find that?" I asked. He looked at me. "Um...magic genie?" He answered. I rolled my eyes, and we started to army crawl around, hidden under the heart of battle. When we got to a side entrance, Justin tossed me some charges. I placed them on the side wall. "Charges set," I told him. He tossed me the detonator. We snuck around back to our cover. "Let's rock it," I said, and pulled the detonator. **BOOM!**

"WOO!" I screamed happily. The wall had caved in, and several clones positioned on top of the wall fell down. "Move move move!" A Banana Guard yelled, and we started moving with the rest of the guards. We appeared to be in some sort of library. A couple clones lay on the ground, dead, and a couple were stumbling around, confused. Cyborg showed up behind us. "Hey guys," He greeted. We both waved. The rest of the guards had killed off the clones. At the end of the hallway was a door. The remaining 20 or so guards took cover, and Justin and I crouched on the ground, eyes on the door, fingers on the trigger of the crossbow. The guard opened the door. The guard turned and tried to scream, but was cut short as the arrows killed him. "Fire!" I yelled, and we started to shoot. Clones started pouring into the room. After reloading, I put away the crossbow, and took out Dawnbreaker. Justin wielded an iron sword. I dodged a sword swipe, tackled the clone, and stabbed him in the neck. I got up, and kept fighting. Justin flipped a clone, and cut his chest open, and kept moving. I saw Cyborg slice a clones throat, then stick another one in the stomach. "Welcome to new AGE!" I grunted, decapitating a guard. "I'm radioactive, RADIOACTIVE!" I sang, effectively taking out 5 clones. The last of the clones retreated. Blood splattered the walls of the library. "Casualties?" I asked. "5 dead, sir," A guard reported. I nodded. 15 guards left. Justin's formerly silver-colored blood was more like a red-colored blade with small splotches of silver in between. We kept moving. The door let to the dining room. We were immediately met with a flurry of arrows. An arrow whizzed past me, and struck a guard in the throat. He made choking sounds, then toppled over. 14. "Take cover, take cover!" Justin yelled, and we dodged, taking some cover. The guards with bows successfully killed most of the attackers, with our help. 9 guards died due to lack of cover. Damn it. 5 left. We moved up, and Justin opened the door. A clone was there, and tried to kill him. It didn't work. Justin dodged the slash, punched the clone, picked him up, and flung him from the railing. He hit the ground, hard. "Okay, Justin, Cyborg, and I will take the cloning machine. You 4 try to locate and capture Lemongrab," I told everyone. They nodded in agreement.

When we opened the cloning room, PB was already there, with her little clone-machine-defuse kit. After she disabled it, she turned. "Do you have any explosives?" She asked. Remembering the explosion, I looked at Justin. He pulled one last piece of C4 from his backpack, and tossed it to her. She placed it on the machine, and then we walked out. "Where are the others?" Princess Bubblegum asked. "They should be capturing Lemon-" Justin's response was cut short as a scream erupted throughout the halls. Justin and I started running. The main hall was chaotic. Lemongrab's grey clothing was covered in blood, and a broken, not moving guard lay at his feet. In his hands (which had broken handcuffs attached to his wrists) was another guard. "Chris! Please-" The guard pleaded, but then Lemongrab whipped him onto the ground. With a splintering crack, the guard stopped moving. The other 3 guards were pointing spears at him. Lemongrab tackled one, and smashed his head in. The other guards kept their spears aimed at him. Justin and I sprinted down there. I grabbed Lemongrab from behind and placed my forearm against his throat. The lemon person started screaming, and then Justin picked up a chair. "FOR SKYRIM!" He yelled, and threw the chair at the fiend. It hit Lemongrab in the head, and he fell into my arms, unconscious. I dropped him. We then walked outside, our group including Me, Justin, two guards,Cyborg, and PB. A bunch of clones appeared in the left side of the courtyard, bows raised. About 150. We all froze. Lemongrab was in a stretcher, held by the two guards assigned to capture Lemongrab that weren't killed. "What do we do?" Cyborg whispered. I felt the detonator. "My father always said if you built your house far away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you," I said. "Well, we're here now, so I guess he was wrong." I then whipped out the detonator, and pressed the button. An explosion was heard, and then the clones collapsed. We cheered. "Wait," Justin said. "Where do we go?"

A Candy Helicopter appeared over the castle. "This is Chopper CK-3, evacuation has arrived," A voice said. The chopper lowered, and Finn and Jake stood looking down on us, grinning. Jake helped me into the chopper while Finn helped PB. Then I helped in Justin and Finn helped in Cyborg. Finally, Justin and I picked up the stretcher Lemongrab was on, set it down in a small compartment that opened up, and helped the last 2 guards in. "Where would we be without you?" I asked, relieved. "In bad shape," Jake replied, still grinning. "I'll run some tests on him, and have his brain eliminate all memory of constructing the cloning machine," Princess Bubblegum said. We all nodded. "You guys lost alot of guards," Finn said. "Yeah, we're all that's left," I told him. He whistled lowly.

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Thank you all for reading another chapter of Chris the Human! _Happy 25th Chapter!_ In this chapter, Lemongrab's threat is gone for good. Next chapter will probably have Justin as the main character. I have decided Justin gets a love interest next chapter. Leave your suggestions! I have a couple unused OC's, one of which is Water Princess.

**danoob:** Yeah, gaming references. Gaming references EVERYWHERE

**lilaclilly00: **Mail me your OC soon! I need your: Character name, age, personality, and possible love interest (for Justin. If you don't want Justin as your character's love interest, then that's fine.)

**gamelover41592: **Thanks for telling me that I'm funny!


	26. Chapter 26: A Firey Hero

"Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend." -Albert Camus

* * *

"Chris, Skyrim merchants are just like people at Gamestop," Justin said. I looked at him. "Come on, Chris. Let's be honest. I found a sword worth 1,000 gold. The dude offered me 200 gold," Justin finished. I nodded. They are ripoffs. I won't argue with that. "Justin, let's go try to find another jeep," I told him. He looked at me like I was crazy. "You know we almost died last time? And then when we survived, Ice King read us one of his little storybooks. Well, we got him good," Justin said. I smiled. "Guys! Ice King asked us to help us discover a mystery!" Finn said, who came out of nowhere. _Oh shit_, I thought. "Here's the picture he sent us. It looks like a dotted infinite symbol with a loaf of bread through it," Jake told us. Justin coughed, and I covered up my laugh with a sniff. After they asked us if we knew anything and left, we started laughing. "Dude," I told my friend. "Maybe we should stop spray painting dicks on Ice King's castle." Justin shook his head, and chuckled.

**AT THE FOREST**

"Let's hope we don't fall off a helicopter," I muttered. Justin smiled, and we started through the forest. "Okay, let's split up," I said. Justin nodded. I walked around, and started to push some vines away. A car mirror lay on the ground, cracked. Useless. I kicked it aside. I turned to see Justin step forward. And then I saw the grass around him fall down, a scream, and a stabbing sound. "Justin!" I yelled, running to where he was. Justin lay on the ground, maybe 3 feet down. The hole he fell down, was a trap. And a metal rod was impaled through his chest. "Oh shit..." I muttered. "Dude," He coughed out. "PB's gonna kill me." I fell backward onto the ground. This isn't good, not good at all. Then I heard a door creaking. "Fucking hell," I cursed. The Goo Skulls opened the door to the radioactive shelter. I got up. Feeling Dawnbreaker, I drew it. No use. They had quickly formed a large circle around me and the hole. I gripped the sword. "You think I'm afraid of you? Come on. Kill me. I dare you. I've already been to Hell and back," I said to the Goo Skulls. They raged, and a tongue flicked out at me and latched onto my leg. I cut it off. Then two tongues latched onto my legs. I cut one off, and then a tongue latched onto my arm. I sliced it off. Tongues were starting to form close. "Shit..." I grunted, backing up. One of the Goo Skulls noticed Justin. Its head was off its neck before it was even within range of him. This is NOT good. I clamped my boots on the ground. "COME AT ME BRO!" I screamed at them. Even though he was in really bad condition, I heard him snort. A tongue whipped out, and caught me by surprise. It tripped me to the ground. I grunted in pain. The Goo Skull seized me by the leg, and picked me up off the air. I cut the tongue, and screamed as I fell, and hit the ground. "Fucking bad idea," I groaned. The Goo Skulls were forming closer. I picked up Dawnbreaker, and held it close. I raised my sword, but then stopped. A fireball whizzed by, and nailed a Goo Skull. I looked over, and Flame Princess was floating above the air, fireball in hand. She launched another one. Then Torchlit ran past her, hollering a battle cry. He nailed two Skulls, and they toppled over. I grinned, and charged in. It took a couple minutes, but whatever Goo Skulls that were alive scrambled back into their little home. I walked to a weak tree, and sliced open the top, making the tree fall over on the military shelter. I looked over, and Torchlit was on the ground, panting. Extending a fireproof-gloved hand, I helped up the warrior. "Why are you out here?" Torchlit asked. I pointed down in the hole, where Justin lay. His eyes were half-closed. He was on the brink of passing out...forever. Flame Princess gasped.

"I'll go with Torchlit to alert Princess Bubblegum. Try to get him out of there!" Flame Princess ordered. I saw Justin watch them leave. "Okay...Chris...I'm gonna..." Vicious hacking. "I'm...gonna need you...to pu...to pull," Justin stammered out. I stared at him. No. I'm not gonna lose another friend to die like this. Not like this. I placed both my hands on his thighs, and started pulling. Blood was pouring. Justin was biting his lip. hard. "One...more...TIME!" I grunted, and yanked him out. He screamed in agony. I dropped him on the ground. He rolled a couple of feet. "Good job," He said, then closed his eyes. I picked him up, cradling my best friend like a baby. Blood was pouring all over my shirt. "I got you Justin..." I told him. "You're gonna be alright." He nodded, and then his head slumped to the side. I started running to the Candy Kingdom. I was sprinting, holding him. After awhile, I finally reached the Candy Kingdom. An ambulance was waiting. I climbed in, and sat next to my friend as it drove towards the hospital. He opened his eyes, and looked at me. "You're gonna be alright," I repeated. He said nothing, just nodded. "Thanks...bro..." He mumbled, and fell asleep. **  
**

* * *

**3 DAYS LATER  
**

_Justin's P.O.V. _

I looked down. The bandage around my waist was still stained red in the center. I watched the door open. Flame Princess walked in, and came to me. She looked at me. "Hey," I said. "Hey," She greeted. "Look...thanks for saving me. It means...it means alot. You didn't need to do that," I told her. She waved it away, but I saw the red blush in her cheeks. She then turned, and stared into my eyes. I stared back, mesmerized in the girl's stare. I smiled. She smiled back. She was blushing. A LOT. It seemed like someone had a crush. Until Chris walked in, blaring dubstep. Flame Princess recoiled. The warmth from her body was gone. She winked at me, and walked out. "Hey dude," Chris greeted me. I picked up a pen from the end table, and whipped it at him. He ruined the mood. But that's Chris. I sighed as Chris picked up the pen and dropkicked it through an open window. We laughed. "Glad you're breathing," He said. "Yeah, you were pretty straightforward YANKING ME off that rod. I'm not a Band-Aid," I told him. "Or are you?" He replied, waved his arms, and started to moonwalk out. "Chris," I asked him. "What have you been smoking?"

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Hope you liked this chapter of Chris the Human! So what happened was feeling between Justin and FP arose, this could change, review if you want otherwise. Additionally, Goo Skulls have been eliminated. I don't know what's in store for next chapter, leave some reviews for that chapter too. The part where Chris yanked Justin off the rod is similar to in "The Last of Us", where Ellie yanked Joel off the rod in the building. Stay tuned, and favorite and sub for more!


	27. Chapter 27: Terrible Ideas

"God's presence is a life preserver that will keep you from sinking in a sea of trouble." -Unknown

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"Damn it. This is not good," I heard Justin mutter. "We're still fucking sinking!" I turned towards him. His new black beanie cap covered his soaking wet hair. "Is that so?" I asked. We were in a sinking car, with a glass sunroof that covered the whole roof. The car shifted. "Shit!" Justin shouted, and fell from the passenger seat to the trunk. The window cracked. His eyes opened. I was still lodged in the driver's seat. I pried a dagger in between myself and the seat belt, and sliced. I didn't fall, but I could turn better. The sunroof cracked a bit. "This was a terrible idea. Now we get to drown, instead of getting spiked through the stomach or falling from a chopper," He told me. I nodded. "What do we do?" Justin asked. I dug through the glove compartment. I pulled the revolver out, and pointed it towards the windshield, still looking at him. He shook his head. "No. We're not gonna do a Battlefield 4 escape. We'll die," He said. I turned. My new fingerless gloves released on the trigger. I heard him sigh in relief. I extended a hand. It didn't go far. Since the jeep was slanted, he got to his knees, and lunged towards me. "Gotcha!" I grunted, grabbing him. Suddenly, the jeep shifted, and tilted me towards the window. I released Justin so I didn't accidentally smash open the window, and caught myself. I heard a thud. I turned back towards my friend. There was a cut on his cheek, and a drop of blood flowed down it. "You _clearly _don't have me," He said.

I tried to open the door. Blocked shut. Suddenly, the song, "Let Her Go," by Passenger came on the radio. Justin pointed his index finger towards the gun. "We're gonna Battlefield it. Shoot through the windshield. I...I don't wanna die to this song," He stuttered, eyes watering. I didn't stare at him. Best friends don't do that. I extended a grip, smiling warmly, listening to the song play in the sinking car. He sniffed, and his ungloved hand grabbed mine. I yanked him up to the front seat. I pointed through the windshield, with the revolver. One bullet left. I looked at the radio. As the water started to rise in the trunk, I told him something. "You're not dying to this song," I told him, and fired the revolver. A loud bang went through the sinking car, and we started swimming out.

My lungs were burning when I saw the top. I looked down, and barely saw the Jeep. Then I saw Justin. We was waving his arms at me. Out of breath. I swum down, even though my lungs ached for air. He fainted. I seized him by the chest, and pulled him up. My vision was getting blurred. This isn't healthy. Then I reached the surface. I gasped, loudly. Panting for air, holding myself afloat. Justin, still unconscious. I swam towards the beach. "This...was a shitty idea," I murmured. When I reached the beach, I stood up, dragged Justin to safe ground, dropped him, and then collapsed on the ground. Still panting. I looked over at Justin, who had finally woken up. He stared at me. He held out a fist to me. I fist bumped him. Even though we were near death, we still are friends.

**THAT NIGHT  
**

Justin huddled around the campfire, with Flame Princess snuggling next to him, asleep. Justin had drank a fire resistance potion. It lasted like 3 days, or so Choose Goose said. I hoped my best friend didn't suddenly explode into flames. Jake was sleeping in his sleeping bag a couple feet away and Finn was training the new Banana Guards in the Candy Kingdom. I can only imagine how bad that could be. I stared at the fire, across from them. "Justin?" I asked. He looked at me. I shifted my position on the log. I took off my necklace. "Here," I said, tossing it to him. He caught it in one hand. "Take it. Keep it close," I told him. He smiled, looking down at the necklace. It glimmered the light of the fire. He put it on. "I will keep it, Chris," He told me, in a friendly way. I smiled back. "Why didn't you want that song on?" I asked. Justin's green eyes suddenly showed pain, and he told me.

"My sister's name is Kailey. You know her. She died the first day the war came to our town. She was shot through the stomach. She died a slow, and painful death. And that song was playing while she died. It's awful. A huge explosion went off. I ran to the car where my parents were, but there was no car. There was just a pile of fucking ash. That song is so saddening to me now, Chris. So.. so know you know."

I looked at Justin. A single tear fell down his cheek. He wiped it away to not hurt Flame Princess. He picked up his backpack next to him, and searched through it. He finally took out a silver ring. He held it in his palm. "She gave this. To me. Kailey gave this to me. Before she died. It's my prized possession," He told me. I nodded, and he put it back. I nodded, and stared at him. "Let's just sleep," He suggested. He kissed Flame Princess on the top of her head, and then stepped away to grab his sleeping bag. I stepped up. Justin looked at me. "Where are you going, bro?" He asked. "I'm going to Marceline's," I replied, and started walking through the woods, headed to the vampire's house. I needed her to do us a favor.

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Thank you for reading another chapter of Chris the Human! In this chapter, Justin and Chris almost drown, and some story time goes on. Chris has replaced the gloves PB gave him, as they were destroyed quite few chapters ago. I think The Lich will appear next chapter, as several people have suggested that. And by several, I mean two. No idea if Justin x Flame Princess is official, tell me in the comments what you think. See you all next chapter!

**Guest: **Thanks for your support! I wanted a unique fanfiction, and I'm happy you like it! I'll answer your wish, The Lich shall appear!

**Jlyman: **I appreciate most of your reviews, but I can't just include every character in the show, like _bam bam bam_. I need some breaks from all the characters. But apart from that, I love your reviews! Keep it coming!

**gamelover41592: **I aim my chapters to be 1,000 words each, not including the little paragraphs post-chapter. I could expand them a bit if you wish, after all, your reviews are highly appreciated. Thanks for supporting me all this time!


	28. Chapter 28: The Lich

"But the Dark cannot claim what Light does not surrender." -C.L. Wilson

* * *

The pitter patter of the rain echoed along the Tree Fort. It was 1:00 in the afternoon. Justin was asleep next to me, motionless. Jake was silently eating a sandwich somewhere in the household, and Finn was visiting Flame Princess. Suddenly a reverberating **BOOM **echoed throughout the house. BMO jumped in terror, and Justin woke up. BMO ran into his arms and curled up in a ball, scared. Justin chuckled at the cute robot, then looked at me. "What's going on?" He asked. I told him a thunderstorm. Then he asked something, that freaked me out. "Chris...do you ever get the feeling...you're being watched?"

I stared at him. "Why would you ask that?" I stuttered out. "I..I don't know. I just..." Justin's voice trailed off as he got off the couch, then put a trembling BMO snuggled in the blankets. He walked to the window; I followed him. He looked out the window, and his face went pale. He dropped to the ground. I looked out. The Lich was looking on in the Tree Fort, 50 feet away. "Oh fuck..." I muttered. Of course _The Lich _shows up. Trembling, I took out my phone, and dialed Princess Bubblegum's number. After several rings, she answered.

"Yes?"

"The Lich is here! Sent guards. I repeat, send guards. The Lich has returned!"

"Okay, I'll just-"

The call was cut short and a continuing beep was heard. I tossed my phone aside. "THE LICH IS BACK!" I yelled. Finn and Jake appeared, mouths open. Then Finn drew his sword. "Let's rock his world," He said. Justin appeared at his feet again, crossbow in hands. We nodded, and kicked the door open. The Lich laughed evilly. Justin squinted in hatred. He fired an arrow at the evil creature. It hit him in the chest. He howled in pain, and then glared. "Let's do this!" I screamed, and we charged forward. Jake punched him with a giant fist. Finn tried to tackle him. Bad mistake. A green fire appeared from the Lich's left hand, and he shot Finn with the fire. Finn screamed in agony, and fell backwards. He wasn't burning, but there was a large hole in his back, and the skin was charred. "Finn!" Jake exclaimed, and rushed to assist his adoptive brother. I looked at Justin. The Lich stared at Jake, who looked up at him in hatred. His eyes then went green. "Faint!" The Lich commanded. Jake immediately rushed into the Tree Fort, smashed a window, and jumped out of it headfirst. He landed in the chicken coop, and lay there motionless. Justin fired another arrow. It hit the Lich in the stomach. In response, he fired a green fireball at my friend. He dodged it. Justin's white hoodie was now covered with rain. He drew his hood. I snuck around behind the Lich, grabbed his cape, and yanked. The Lich was starting choke, and made hacking sounds. Then he stopped, whipped around, picked me up, flew several feet in the air, and dropped me. "Fuh you," I coughed when I hit the ground. I coughed some blood up, and then got up. The Lich kicked me, and picked me up. I grabbed his remaining horn, and ripped it off. The Lich let out a bloodcurdling howl, and then took a fire spell in his hands. He never burned me. An arrow flung through the Grass Lands. The Lich let go of me. Justin reloaded his crossbow. "This motherfucker is harder to kill than a Lemongrab clone!" I heard him yell. and then a spotlight shone on the undead wizard. "Under the rule of the Candy Kingdom, surrender!" A voice shouted.

I looked up. A Banana Guard stood in a Candy Helicopter, along with several others. The Lich laughed, an evil laugh that chilled me. He shot a green fireball at the helicopter. Direct hit. The helicopter crashed into the ground near us. The Lich dodged a propeller. He then looked at me, those green pupils staring into me. I looked away as to not get possessed. Yet another arrow flew past me, and hit The Lich in the throat. It hacked violently, then turned and started running. "After him!" I screamed, jumping to my feet. We chased him for several minutes, until we reached Iceberg Lake. He started swimming, instead of flying. No idea why. He was swimming to a glacier, too wounded to get to his lair. "Over there!" Justin yelled, pointing to a jetski. I hopped on, and started driving towards The Lich, who had reached the glacier. Justin was behind me. I slammed the gas pedal. When we were near the glacier, a fireball flew past us, into the water. "Shit! Dude, this isn't-" Justin's sentence was cut off as a green fireball hit our jetski. I screamed as we were flung into the air and landed on the glacier, right in front of The Lich. "Is this what you want, puny mortal?" He asked, in that terrible voice. I stuck up the middle finger, and then slumped my head to the side. Suddenly, a C4 and a detonator slid out from Justin's hoodie. The Lich smiled, and laughed. He picked up the detonator, and flew up in the sky. He laughed one more time. Justin got to his feet, pulled out a knife, and then helped me up. "Chris! Come on, we have to-"** BOOM**

I was knocked to my feet, and a piece of ice fell on me. Justin slid down the glacier helplessly, next to me. "Justin, grab on!" I yelled at him. He looked at me, and tried to grab my hand. He missed. "NO!" I screamed as Justin fell off the glacier. Right into the dark, icy water. I tried to pry the ice off of me. No use. I looked into the water. Nothing moved. Tears formed in my eyes. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and hit the icy ground. The Lich landed on the ground, smiling. "Now YOUR TURN," He exclaimed. I looked at him. "No..." I said. "It's YOUR TURN!" I then pried myself out of the ice and tackled the villain. I punched him in the face.

"Stop." Finn.

"HURTING." Jake.

"MY." Banana Guards.

"FUCKING." Justin.

"FRIENDS!" With every word, I punched him. I then elbowed him in the face, and wordlessly kept punching him. I then grabbed Justin's knife and stabbed him in the throat. I kept stabbing him, until my arms tired. The Lich was covered in blood. Whoever's blood that was, I didn't care. I picked him up, and, with a huge grunt, threw him into a hole the explosion caused. Seeing a pillar of ice, I grabbed it, and tipped it over. It crushed The Lich, freezing him in the ice. He may be immortal, but he'll be frozen. Panting, I fell on the ground. I was tired. I clamped one gloved ground on the ice, and pulled myself forward. I kept dragging myself forward with one bloodstained, gloved hand. When I reached the side, I looked into the water once more. Nothing was there. Still exhausted, I crawled down to the water, and stuck my face underwater. Justin lay there in a long piece of ice maybe 6 feet under. His jeans and sneakers were motionless, as were his hands. But his head was wearing a mask covering his mouth and nose, which led to a wire. The wire led to a yellow tube. He had somehow snagged himself on an oxygen mask. He was unconscious. The water was cold. He would get hypothermia. I took my head out of the water, gasped loudly, and then dove under. The water was so damn cold. I pried him loose of the mask, and pulled him by the hand, out of the water. Then I picked him up and dropped him onto the glacier. His beanie cap was long gone. His hair, and body, were soaked. I stared at him. After several seconds, he coughed up some water, and then leaned over the side of the glacier, and vomited. After wiping it away, he looked at me. "Is..Is he gone?" Justin asked. I nodded. He smiled, and relaxed. "It's fucking cold," He muttered. I stood up, and extended a hand to him. He grasped it, and I pulled him up. We walked while I supported him. I got in an old red canoe, and helped him in. I started paddling.

When I reached land, Princess Bubblegum, Finn and Jake (Both bandaged, with Finn's chest being bandaged and Jake's head being bandaged), Cyborg, and several other Banana Guards were waiting. At knee length water, I rolled up my cargo pants, and helped Justin out. He was limping. "Where's The Lich?" Princess Bubblegum asked. I looked at her. "I froze him. In ice." I pointed at the iceberg, and then I nodded my head at Justin, who's eyes were starting to close (He was blacking out). "I need you to get him to the hospital," I told Princess Bubblegum. She nodded, and pointed at the two Banana Guards, then at Justin, and they wordlessly turned around, reached into an ambulance behind them (Which I hadn't noticed), took out a stretcher, got Justin into the stretcher, put him in the back, then started driving away. Cyborg turned. "You..You defeated The LICH?" He asked, dumbfounded. I nodded. "But at a great price," I replied.

There was a celebration that night. Justin appeared, with a bandage around his left arm. He had recovered from the hypothermia. Turns out he had sliced his arm on a jagged piece of ice whilst falling off the glacier. Almost all of the Candy Kingdom appeared. Songs were sung, beverages were drunken, and dances were performed. When the party was over, all the people went home, but a certain vampire and myself were watching the moonlight from the view of a tree.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the EXTRA LONG chapter. I'm not sure about how I liked this chapter, I think it was cool. So in this chapter, The Lich shows up, and Justin and Chris combat it. Justin seems to have a fondness with explosives, or he just kept some spare charges with him after the battle in 'End of a Lemon.' Justin almost died in this chapter as well. Review and Follow please, and stay tuned for next chapter! Leave your feedback and suggestions BELOW. See you next chapter!

**Guest: **There aren't really terrorists at this point, just bandits. Remember, Justin arrived in Ooo on his 154th day surviving, and he started marking down the days after the warfare destroyed the town. Plus, when Justin shot the portal, he kinda broke it. Perhaps, just perhaps, PB could repair it. I'm not sure. Thanks for the idea!

**Jlyman: **I don't think for awhile, no, and yes, it is. I added in your note as some dialogue from Justin.


	29. Chapter 29: Before Ooo

"I'm just doing what I'm told, I feel something so wrong doing the right thing..." -OneRepublic

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Justin and I sat across from each other in the cafe. Justin had just finished his cup of orange juice and was about to move in on his bagel. "Justin," I said. He looked at me, eyebrows raised. "What happened to Miles?" I asked. Justin thought for a moment. "Miles. Miles was with me for a couple weeks during the war. Eventually, he was attacked by the Destiny bandits while searching one of the nearby towns for loot. I found his corpse, covered in blood, with a gunshot through him and a slit throat. A note next to him read, "Don't mess with Destiny." _Hm. The irony._ Miles was killed by the Destiny gang, which is a gang from Adventure Time. What are the odds? Now it was his turn to ask. "Chris, what happened to Jason?" A little stun went through my body at that moment. "Jason..." I sighed. "Jason died similar to the way you almost died." Justin stared. "Drowning, freezing, or falling?" He asked. "Neither," I said. "He fell from the second floor. Right into a metal rod. He was impaled in the stomach," I answered. Justin stared at my hoodie. Before he could say anything, I told him, "Yes, this is his hoodie. He gave it to me."

Justin took out a picture and placed it on the table. It was most of our friends, including Justin, Jason, Miles and I, somewhere near the woods. Our friend Matt was holding the peace sign up, with a grin. Justin chuckled a bit. "Yeah. Matt was holding up the peace sign, but he successfully overwhelmed one of them, and threw him out of a window. He died when the school was bombed," He remarked. _Fuck_, I thought. _Matt was a good friend. _"Did anyone in this picture survive, except you and I?" I asked. Justin thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure, yeah. Except for Simon," He responded, pointing at our friend, who was standing next to Justin. "I saw him jump out of a window right before the school exploded. I saw him on the 43rd day. We stopped, and talked. He had a ton of food, and water. He told me that he teamed up with a couple of our friends, but bandits killed 'em. I haven't seen him since. I hope he's alive. Simon was a cool guy," Justin explained. I nodded. "Connor?" I asked, yet again. "Connor was in Simon's group. Simon told me that Connor "took two down with him," Justin said, and leaned back in his chair. Suddenly, I remembered something. "Happy birthday, Justin," I said, and took out a sword.

It had an aqua blue blade and hilt, with a brown handle. And several red curvy lines were on the sword. "Dude, that's sick!" Justin exclaimed. "Where did you get that red pattern?" He asked. I rolled up my sleeve. A bandage covered a part of my arm, with a red stain showing. He chuckled. "So you extracted your blood just to get me a good gift?" He said out loud. I nodded, smiling. He high fived me, telling me that I was the best. I explained that I had gone to Choose Goose's stall and purchased some enchantment that caused the blood to stay there, instead of just rolling off. So the design was there to stay. He put the sword away, and whispered, "Today's my birthday?"

I nodded. "I forgot what day it was. Time doesn't matter in the apocalypse. All that matters is hot, cold, or warm. Apart from that, you don't keep track of time," He explained to me. "It's fine," I told him, waving it away. We both got up, and walked out of the Candy Cafe. "What about Lily?" Justin asked. I moved slower, but I still walked on. Lily. "She was the girl who always said, "Herro, hai, meep, bai, and would like randomly ponder the mysteries of life, right?" I replied. He nodded. "Das alot of info to remember," He remarked.

"So what happened to her?" He asked again.

"I have no idea. I ran through the streets, got shot, and fell through a portal. YOU should know."

"Was she in the school? Before, it, well, you know. Fucking exploded."  
"I think."

"I'm pretty sure I saw her in the town once. However it could've just been a hallucination, because I was really low on water. Or a dream."

We kept walking. "What are you gonna name your sword?" I asked. "Deathraze," Justin said confidently with a grin. I smirked. Suddenly, I heard heavy breathing. I silently looked at Justin. _LSP_, he mouthed silently. I frowned. I held up his hand, and three fingers were sticking up. 3. One went down. 2. Another. When he got to one, I heard LSP scream, "YOU GET THESE LUMPS!" and then she came out of nowhere, and landed on his head, and started licking his ear. Justin just screamed, dropping his sword. LSP jumped off Justin, and landed on my waist, kissing it. "GET THE SWORD!" I yelled, and Justin picked up Deathraze, and pried Lumpy Space Princess off of my waist. LSP clung to the tip of the sword, snarling, "Lumps" at us. "W-What do we do?" I asked, panting. "Well we should-" Justin looked at his sword. The purple blob was no longer there. "Oh, shit," He said. LSP did another air dive and landed on ME this time. I screamed in terror, and when Justin tried to help me out, she kissed his hand, and tried to jump on his head. She missed horribly, and landed on his leg. She clung to his leg. Justin fell backwards and tried to crawl away, while I backed up. After making out with his leg, LSP started to move towards me. SLOWLY. "Nu, nu nu nu," I muttered. I held up my hands to block the girl's assault, but it never took place. A Banana Guard and Cyborg were holding LSP down. "Ma'am, I'm going to ask you to stop," Cyborg grunted while Lumpy Space Princess flailed around. "WHY?! BECAUSE THEY LOVE MY STINKING LUMPS?!" LSP screamed at them. The unnamed Banana Guard looked at Justin and I. I waved my hands as to signify, "No" while Justin, who was terrified due to the sneak attack, just shook his head. He wasn't moving. "You ok Justin?" I asked, still on the ground. He shook his head again, not uttering a word.

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I hoped you liked this new chapter of Chris the Human! In this chapter we just catch up about what happened to the people we knew about before Ooo, and Justin gets a cool sword for his birthday. Check out my profile where I wrote about Chris's friends in one section, explaining their skills, and how they ended up being Chris's or Justin's friends. Leave feedback in for the next chapter, and follow the story for more!

**lilaclilly00: **Surprise! Here's the start of your OC! Your OC will definitely be mentioned more over the chapters! Definitely. I used the info you gave me in the Private Message to the best of what I could do, I'll add on more and more.

**Guest: **Send me a private message (Not a review, a PRIVATE MESSAGE) about your character. I won't add him/her immediately to the story, I need some time to air out. But you'll be added eventually! I promise you that! And I NEVER go back on a promise.

PS: To see what Chris looks like, search up 'TheGoldenApple' on pickaface. The link is broken and messing up for me, so just check out the site to see what Chris looks like.


	30. Chapter 30: It Can't End This Way

"For a wolf to survive, he has to chew off his own leg." -William Dunn

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I walked with Justin through the jungle. No reason, just wandering. I wore a black hoodie, white cargo pants, black boots, and a biking helmet. Suddenly, I heard Justin quickly exclaim, "Whoa shit!" and trip on a root. He then started to roll down a hill, but I grabbed him. "Thanks, man," He said as I pulled him to his feet. I nodded. I turned to keep walking. "Justin!" I told him. "Check out that!" I pointed to a vehicle standing near the top of the hill. "What do you think it is?" Justin asked when we walked to it. "That's an MRAP, Justin," I replied. Justin got in the passenger's seat, while I got in the driver's seat. "It's not gonna turn on," Justin said. I rolled my eyes, and turned the key. The MRAP roared to life. "Seriously. How the fuck are all the vehicles we find full of fuel?" He pondered.

I shifted my position, and accidentally stepped on the gas pedal. "Shit!" I yelled. The MRAP started to fall down the cliff. "NOT AGAIN" Justin screamed as we kept falling down the hill. The windows behind us shattered. Branches bounced off the windshield. Soon, the MRAP hit a tree and went spiraling down a hill backwards for at least 40 feet before turning around. Soon the windshield busted out. The MRAP started speeding towards a downhill clearing. Right when we reached it, we hit an overturned tree. The recoil flung Justin out of the MRAP as he let out a scream. The MRAP didn't stop; It plunged 7 feet down into a large clearing, where a stream cut through it. The MRAP was completely up in the air, with the back being the highest point up. "Mother...fucker..." I grunted, and unclicked my seat belt, and fell onto the ground. My helmet hit the steering wheel and didn't fall. I held up my hands to protect myself from the MRAP. Instead it fell to the side. I let out a sigh of relief. There was pain all over my body, and it HURT. My hoodie sleeves were entirely ripped off from the elbow down. My right arm had a long, jagged slash through it, and bits of glass were stuck in my chest. My left leg had a huge splotch of blood on it. I let my head slump down on the pieces of cracked glass. I felt some substance coming from my nose. I touched it. Blood. What a- "AGH!" Suddenly a huge wave of pain shot through me. Everything went black.

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Everything was on and off. I was only able to stay awake for roughly 20 seconds at a time. When I was strong enough to move my head, I would sip from the stream. I was covered with more and more blood every time I woke up. Raw pain shot through me whenever I would move anything in my body. I saw Justin, several meters from the MRAP. He wasn't moving either, and he was bloody and broken too. Once I saw a drop of blood trickle down the side of his head. Then darkness again. Wake up, look around, sleep. This process continued for a long period of time. I wasn't hungry; I wasn't thirsty. Once I woke up, and I could move my arm without intense pain. The night air was chilly. I tried to pull myself forward. I let out a curse as pain seethed throughout my broken body. I moved again. When I was closer to Justin, I tried to get on my knees. Instead I took a face dive straight into the dirt. And fell asleep again. Finally I woke up for a short while. With a huge amount of agony, I was able to crawl to him. "J-Justin?" I croaked. "Justin! Please get up!" I pleaded. "At least open your eyes! I..I need you! You can't die!" I told him. Justin's eyes slowly opened. "Thanks..." He let out a loud cough. "Thanks for everything, Chris. You...you saved me. I owe my life to you," He said. Tears were forming in my eyes. "It's been quite the ride...Heh...Shame it's gotta end..." He muttered to me, and clasped my hand. "My father...My father always said that if you build your house away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you," Justin said to me in a hoarse voice. "Well here we are, so I guess he was wrong," He got out, and then his hand went limp. His hand fell to the ground, and his eyes closed. His heavy breathing stopped. I looked in my hand. His sister's ring was in the middle of my palm. I broke down crying, then and there. I cried for minutes, and cried and cried. Then I turned away from my dead best friend and heaved. Then I passed out.

When I woke up, it was sunset. I stood up. The pain was unbearable, but I didn't care. I picked up Justin, and cradled him like a baby. "I got you buddy...I got you," I told him, even though he was dead. Another tear rolled down my cheek. I looked at the MRAP. The vehicle that almost killed me. And killed my best friend in the whole wide world. I started walking. I walked for an hour. Up the hill. Through the jungle. Through the Grass Lands. Whatever didn't ache or sting I couldn't feel. My vision was getting blurred. When I arrived at the Tree Fort, I saw Jake, Finn, and Princess Bubblegum run out to meet me. "Chris! Where have you-" Finn stopped talking. I collapsed onto the ground. My body couldn't take it anymore. "What happened?!" Princess Bubblegum cried, kneeling over me. I looked up at her as my vision was slowly fading. "Found...a vehicle...crashed it...Justin...he's dead," I croaked, as my vision was completely blurred. "Oh Glob!" Finn yelled as he probably discovered Justin's pulse. Everything went black. As my thoughts faded, A single sentence formed in my head: _I need Peppermint Butler to get Justin back._

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I woke up with a gasp. Panting, I looked around. Back at the hospital. I haven't been a patient here in...awhile. First day in Ooo? I sighed. My leg was in a cast, and my right arm was bandaged, as well as my chest. A large Band-Aid was placed across my throat. _Where's Justin? _I thought. Suddenly, Princess Bubblegum walked in. I looked at her. "Chris," She asked. "What happened?" So I told her.

"Princess Bubblegum, while exploring a jungle, Justin and I found an MRAP, a military vehicle. We went in to explore, and we soon realized that it still functioned. I accidentally stepped on the gas pedal. We were sent down a rather long hill and then crashed into a clearing. Sometime near when we crashed, Justin was flung through the windshield. I somehow survived the crash, and I passed out. Justin probably was wounded by a sharp rock and fell into the clearing where I landed. When I was healthy enough to move, probably several days later, I crawled to him. He died soon after."

Princess Bubblegum was silent. "And now I need Peppermint Butler. To journey to the Land of the Dead to get his soul back," I finished.

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I am SO SORRY for posting late! I completely forgot! This was a saddening chapter, with a major character death. However, Justin is clearly not gone forever. When Chris gets better (Next chapter, there will be a time gap where he has fully healed), he will travel to the Land of the Dead to get back Justin's soul. I have also been working on the Chris the Human wiki, which will be a go-to source to find information on Chris the Human, and the link shall be released next chapter. Stay tuned! Review please!


	31. Chapter 31: Land of the Dead

"I will prepare and some day my chance will come." -Abraham Lincoln

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I unwrapped the bandage on my chest. After coughing slightly, I stood up in front of Princess Bubblegum. "Wonderful you're ok now!" She cheered happily. I stretched. A month in that hospital bed was ENOUGH. Peppermint Butler stood next to her. "Are you ready to do this?" He asked. I nodded, and picked up my backpack and slung Dawnbreaker, which Finn and Jake had happily retrieved for me back in the clearing, along with Deathraze. Peppermint Butler turned and squinted at the corner where two walls met across the room. A portal opened up. "Tell Death that Peppermint Butler said hi," Peppermint ordered. I flashed the thumbs up silently, and jumped through the portal.

I stared ahead. The Gate Guardian was talking to a skeleton with a missing arm. He nodded, and the gates opened. I unhooked the crossbow from my leg, and started running. "Hey! Stop!" The guardian cried. I ignored him and dodged his punches, sliding through the gate with ease, and kept running until I reached the actual Land of the Dead. Crouching down low, I tried to avoid any skeletons. I didn't see any skeletons, and I hoped none saw me. Either way, I kept moving in a crouched position until Death's castle came into view. I stood up, and started strolling. It wasn't long until I saw around 5 skeletons talking with their backs turned. _Just my fucking luck._ I got down behind a large rock, and started to sort through my backpack. Damn it. Nothing that could explode. My flare gun was out of flares. I sighed. I'll just have to cut through them. I stood up. One skeleton turned around. "Hey-" He started. An arrow pierced his skull, and it fell off. The skeleton crumpled to the ground. The other 4 turned around. I dropped the crossbow, and drew Dawnbreaker. The other skeletons screamed and ran away. I looked at Dawnbreaker, and gasped. The sword was...glowing. I swung it around, and confidently grinned.

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As it turned out, not all skeletons shit themselves when they see my sword. I wiped some blood off of my cheek, sighed, and continued on to Death's castle. I was almost there. Suddenly, a pain shot through my leg. I looked down, and a skeleton was gnawing at my leg. "Bad Skeleton," I said, and then stuck my sword through the top of its skull. Kicking away the motionless skeleton, I kept moving. Near the entrance of Death's castle, a giant mob of skeletons rushed out from nowhere. "FLESH!" several of them screamed. _Oh shit._ I turned, and started running. When I was running out of stamina, a sudden idea came to me. With a final burst of adrenaline, I sprinted behind a boulder, and dove through a window of a broken police car. I hit the floor hard, and kept from making a sound. I saw the mob rush past me. After around 30 seconds of silence, I chuckled. "You cheat death again, Chris," I said to myself. I didn't even know there was a police car there. I just relied on luck. I got up, and unlocked the police car door, and walked to Death's castle.

"Okay Chris, calm down," I told myself, trying to keep my shit together. My knuckles were white as I trekked through the Zen Garden. Suddenly, I heard, "HALT, MORTAL!" I didn't scream, but was pretty close too. Death appeared in front of me. "How are you today?" He asked with a creepy smile. I glared at the figure in front of me. "Where's...Justin," I got out through gritted teeth. He laughed an evil laugh that sent chills through my body. He pointed to my left. I turned, and saw Justin in a floating bubble. He wasn't moving. "To get your friend back, you need to beat me at a music contest," Death challenged. Another idea formed. "Fine," I replied. "I guess I'll tell Peppermint Butler you don't like him."

Death started stuttering. "H-Ha! Y-Y-You think that saying that I d-don't like Peppermint? That's...That's nonsense," He said. I smirked, and started to walk away. "FINE. I'LL LET YOUR STUPID FRIEND GO!" He yelled at me. _That_ was what I wanted to hear. I spun around, and walked to the bubble. Death popped the bubble and brought Justin back to life. His eyes opened. "W-Wha?" He mumbled, looking around. I extended a hand. "Good to have you back, buddy," I told him, and helped him up. I took Deathraze off of my backpack strap and gave it to him. He grinned. After grumbling about candy or something, he said, "I won't bring him back to life when he dies again," then a red beam shot from Death's eyes, and we were suddenly in the hospital room. After silently flexing his hands, Justin held out his hand for a high five. Needless to say, I returned it.

There was a celebration in Ooo that night. The celebration was for Justin's return, and my journey to the Land of the Dead. At one part, he started rapping Eminem. What a surprise. Justin loves Eminem. That was probably his biggest concern when he had to start surviving on his own-Where can I listen to Eminem. Some songs he sung for no reason, other were more appropriate, like 'Without Me.' When the party was over, Justin took flight lessons from James. He got the hang of things pretty soon. I was just thinking about my old friends. Simon, Matt, Jordan, Jackson, Connor, everyone else. I sighed. Justin told me he found Jackson dead in a overturned car. _Fantastic.  
_

That night while I was on the couch, I thought about pretty much everyone I used to know that was human, from Lily to my asshole Math teacher. I groaned as I suddenly remembered Princess Bubblegum trying to challenge Justin at a rap battle. She rapped about math. She lost. No chance. I chuckled as I remembered the look on her face as Justin completely annihilated her in that rap battle. Suddenly, I heard a loud crash outside. The door opened, and coughing followed. I could see Justin stumble in front of the couch. "Congrats," I said. "You successfully almost crashed a fucking plane into the tree fort." He laughed. I could smell the smoke coming off of him. "Hey, I earned my flight degree in Battlefield 4, so I would stop talking."

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WHOA! NEW FANFICTION PIC! Hope you enjoyed this (late) chapter of Chris the Human! The little picture is of Chris, if you can't tell. So in this chapter, Chris journeys to the Land of the Dead to get Justin. Leave your suggestions for next chapter in the comments below so I can post earlier!

**ashen snowflake:** Heh, thanks!

**Jlyman:** Nice Black Ops reference! I get most of my quotes from BrainQuote or goodreads.


	32. Chapter 32: A Dreadful Mistake

"The ones who love you will never leave you. Even if there are hundred reasons to give up, they will find one reason to hold on." -Unknown

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I let out a grunt as I brought the blade down into the skeleton's skull. The undead collapsed. I looked over to see Finn hack down some skeletons. Jake was triple his normal size, picking up skeletons and flinging them. I turned and cut the arm off of one, and kicked it down. "Dudes, we gotta get outta here!" I yelled at them as I realized how helplessly outnumbered we were. Jake nodded, and Finn flashed the thumbs up sign. I drew the radio from my pocket. "James, get us out of here!" I commanded through the radio. Around 30 seconds later, a Candy Kingdom Helicopter arrived and arrows started flying. A ladder lowered from the chopper. Jake just stretched up and got in. I started to rapidly climb, and at the top I scrambled in. James and a Banana Guard were flying the helicopter. A Banana Guard was firing arrows with a bow. I was about to- "Oh shit!" I exclaimed as the spear hit the Banana Guard with the bow in the chest. He coughed, and then stumbled and fell out out of the chopper. I drew my crossbow and fired at the massive horde. I leaned over and saw Finn climbing rapidly. When he was at the edge, the ladder snapped. I dropped the crossbow and dove to grab him. I seized him by the hand. "DON'T LET GO!" He screamed. _No shit._ I pulled him in, and started panting. He looked at me. "Dude, what do you eat?" I asked him as the helicopter started to gain altitude. "Guyyyyys, what about the skeletons?" Jake complained. I grinned and pulled out a detonator. I pulled it. An explosion was heard in the background. "Plan B," I said nonchalantly.

When we were flying towards the Candy Kingdom, Jake pointed out a small fire near the pond where Finn was spying on Flame Princess. Jake and I decided to check it out. We got off the helicopter, and then we both froze. Trees were tipped over. Some of the grass was burning. A bush was charred nearby. And in the middle, next to the pond, lay Justin, who had ash all over his body and was burned. "Justin!" I screamed, and sprinted towards him. He looked up at me. His eyes echoed of pain. "Does...does it look bad?" He asked. I sadly nodded. "What the fuck happened?!" I almost yelled. "Flame Princess...Made of...flame...forgot...fire doesn't like water.." He gasped out, and then closed his eyes. He clearly wasn't dead, just banged up. "Uh, dude?" Jake said nervously. I turned, and he pointed. Flame Princess was glaring at us from a spot behind a bush. Without her moving or even doing, the bush suddenly combusted into flame. She then turned and walked away. I picked up Justin, and we took him to the Candy Kingdom.

_Justin's P.O.V._

_W...Where am I?_ I thought as I awoke. All I remember is giving Flame Princess water by accident, and then...and then there was Chris. But everything was on and off. I kept passing out. I was able to catch glimpses of what looked like a hospital room. Once, I had a nightmare. It was the day I was running through the streets and found Jackson in the car. He was screaming my name, extending his hands for help. But my arms wouldn't move. It kept on for what seemed like forever. I was trying, but my arms didn't budge. I was soon screaming his name too, and then...and then his eyes closed, and his head slumped down on the street. He died, and I woke up, startled, afraid, and covered in sweat. I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night. It seemed like I couldn't tell dreams from reality. My thoughts were all fogged up. I saw Flame Princess in one of my dreams. Ugh...Flame Princess. I for...I forgot that she's a...Fire...Fire Elemental...She didn't...she...didn't need to...try and k-kill..m-me...Darkness.

I woke up with a gasp. The clock on the wall read 10:51, and the window opposite me showcased the night sky. Chris lay next to me in a chair, sleeping. I watched him inhale, then exhale, then inhale, then exhale. I just watched him breathe for a couple moments and then I sighed. Chris opened his eyes immediately. I smiled at him; He gave a half hearted smile back, still a bit asleep. "You fell into a coma," Chris informed me, grogginess evident in his voice. "You've been here this whole time?" I asked. He smiled a bit. "Y-Yeah, pretty much. PB tried to get me to leave. Heh, not happening," He croaked. Then I fell asleep again. I could swear that as soon as my eyes closed, I heard my best friend sigh.

_Chris's P.O.V._

Justin didn't seem to be doing good. Not sure why. Princess Bubblegum said that he had some hypothermia. HOW THE HELL he got hypothermia from almost being burned to death was beyond me. After our short conversation, he passed out again. Finn and Jake came in to talk to him, and even once he woke up and played BMO for a couple of minute. Shockingly, LSP came in. She didn't try to make out with me. She didn't do anything. Just frowned and stared at him. It was...amazing in a sense. She didn't utter a single word. Soon, after days and days, Justin got better. And it was wonderful.

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Justin was depressed for a couple days. Then he turned into a happier, more helpful person. Justin had continued taking lessons from James, and eventually was able to fly a helicopter.

Finn and I were coming back from a demon hunt when a yellow arrow whizzed past Finn's head. I immediately spun around, unhooked the crossbow, and shot the attacker in the throat. He stumbled back and collapsed on the ground. "W-Who was that?!" Finn cried. I shrugged, and walked to the attacker. I looked down. A Lemongrab clone lay there with the arrow in his throat, with a black mask covering his mouth. "What the math?" Finn said. I looked at him. "I thought PB got _rid_ of this issue," I told him. Finn looked about as confused as I did. Suddenly, another arrow flew past us. I looked, and two Lemongrab clones stood about 10 feet away from us. I shot the clone with the bow, and he collapsed onto the ground. Finn tried to assault the other clone, but he countered it and kicked Finn onto the ground. He got on top of him, and punched Finn in the face. Then again. Then again. I drew my dagger, and whipped it at the clone like a Frisbee. It hit the clone in the side of the neck, and Finn pushed the corpse off of him. I helped him up. "We gotta get to the Candy Kingdom," Finn said. I nodded, and took out a radio. "Hey, CK-9, requesting evac," I requested into the device. "Copy that, we're en route," The other voice replied. Finn stared at me, then his face widened into a huge grin when a helicopter piloted by James and Justin arrived. "How did they know where we were?" He asked, obviously mind blown. "Tracking device," I replied, and then a ladder lowered, and we climbed in. "Candy Kingdom," I requested. "Lemongrab's made a return."

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DAT BREAKUP THO! Hope you loved this chapter of Chris the Human! So basically in this chapter Justin forgets a very critical fact and loses his girlfriend because of it. Either way, they probably won't be getting back together. Next chapter will be some battle time with the Lemongrab clones (Super long chapter!). Sorry about the delayed chapters, I'm working on the Chris the Human wiki, it shall be released soon!

**Ryanel: **Glad you like the fanfiction! You're the first person to ever really suggest chapters for me, and it means alot! I'll use your suggestions

**gamelover45192: **I don't know how this was shorter, because it was the same length as all the previous ones, between 1,000 and 1,200 words.


	33. Chapter 33: Bad, Worse, and Terrible

"No, the only things which do not bother me are the elements. I can overcome them without a fight. All one has to do to get the best of the elements is to stand pat and one will win." -William Howard Taft

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Helicopters and jeeps with Banana Guards in them were already taking off. We landed, and let Cyborg and two other Banana Guards in. "Headed to Lemongrab's," Justin said. Cyborg nodded. I could see he held a sword instead of a spear. The other two guards held bows, however. I drew my crossbow, and Finn started to chat with a guard. After several minutes, I heard James. "We're here," He told us.

Lemongrab's forces were holding the castle well. I cringed as the chopper flying next to us was suddenly crushed by a giant lemon. No pilot called 'Mayday' over the radio. Just silence. "We've gotta help them!" cried one of the guards. "Nobody's surviving that," I answered. I started shooting at the catapult. The other two guards drew their bows, and started shooting at some clones. We held the air for several moments. Until an arrow hit one of the guards in the eyeball, and tumbled out of of the helicopter. "Enemy archers!" The other guard yelled. He drew another arrow from his quiver, put it in the bow, pulled it back, and then- "AGH!" He howled as the yellow arrow hit him in the stomach. The guard tumbled backwards, but Cyborg grabbed him and sat him down. "Oh Glob," Finn worried, grabbing the first aid kit. He took out a bandage, then the helicopter rocked. It sent me to the helicopter floor. "Dammit! What the hell was that?!" I asked as the chopper tried to ready itself. "Giant lemons!" Justin answered back, and the helicopter started to spin as it was hit again. Cyborg tripped backwards and fell out of the helicopter. Luckily I dived and grabbed his arm. The robotic arm, which had recently been changed so it had all fingers, gripped the sword. "This is CK-9! We are hit and we are going down!" James yelled, presumably into a radio. I started to slowly slide out of the helicopter as it started to spiral towards the ground. "Mayday Mayday! We are going down! This is CK-9, hit and going-" **CRASH. **Metal grinding, glass breaking, then silence, then darkness.

When my vision returned, I didn't like what I saw. The chopper was tipped over and lying on the ground, from what I figured. Blood was splattered on the floor. The guard who was wounded lay unmoving in a pool of blood. He wasn't breathing, I just knew it immediately. Rubble from whatever we crashed into covered the helicopter. I stood up. No pain. I got lucky this time. I looked in through the cockpit. Rubble covered the cracked windshield, and a stiff hand jutted out, crushed by whatever fell on it. Justin was unconscious in the copilot's seat, so that must mean..._ James. _I sighed and saluted him in honor, then shook Justin. His eyes opened, and he coughed as dust filled the empty helicopter. "We gotta get outta here," I told him. He nodded, and stood up. There was no sign of Finn or Cyborg.

There was a silver rod covering a hole in the roof. I got up on my tiptoes and pushed it off. Suddenly, the controls from the cockpit suddenly combusted. "Shit, that's gonna reach the engine!" Justin exclaimed. "No SHIT," I replied, and he got down on one knee with his hands cupped. I put my boot on his hands, and he boosted me up onto the top of the helo. I turned and extend my hand for Justin, who gladly accepts my offer and I pull him up, which is easier said than done. Suddenly a hissing sound emerges from somewhere within the helicopter. "SHIT!" Justin screamed, and dove off the chopper. I took a running leap, and as I got into the air, an arrow whizzed past my face, and nicked my ear, which stung a bit. I hit the ground hard, and got up. "Move, move!" I told him, and we started running. Then the chopper exploded. Even with the distance we were from it, Justin and I were launched onto the ground. Coughing, I got up, and took in our surroundings. It was the courtyard, and warfare was everywhere. Jeeps were tipped over. Several Helicopters were crashed, one of them into a tower. Justin and I sprinted to an overturned picnic table where Finn and Cyborg were hiding. We took no offense that they weren't in our company when they left; Cyborg probably wasn't even in the helicopter. "They have us pinned down tight with turrets," Cyborg briefed when we took cover. "Guys, think you can take 'em out?" He asked. Justin slung his backpack onto the ground, and then took out some C4, grinned, and put it back. "Why do you have so much of that junk?" Finn asked. Justin shrugged, and we did what Cyborg had requested.

Justin and I army-crawled really slow-like to a building that seemed to generate alot of the projectiles. There were 20 or so Lemongrab clones firing arrows from multiple pieces of cover, and what looked like two miniguns at the window of the two-story building. But bullets weren't flying, arrows were. Pretty math. A single clone was guarding the door. We missed our goal, and ended up at the back of the structure. We just trotted over to the entrance. The guard was easily dispatched with a cut to the neck. When we opened the door, a clone who decided to join the fight was rushing towards the exit. Justin put him to sleep with an arrow to his head. There were stairs, and then the main room. When I opened it, a clone was inspecting a sword with his back to the door. I drew a dagger, clamped a hand over the clone's mouth, and slit his throat. Blood spilled, and I slowly set his corpse down. Luckily the door seemed like a back door, as the minigunners and some clone touching a tablet weren't looking at us. Justin shot the clone with the tablet, and he went down. With a single motion, both of the gunner's backs were cut open, and they fell onto the ground. Justin picked up the tablet. "Dude, this is a map of how he's gonna take over _Ooo_," Justin told me. "He's not gonna," I responded. Justin put the tablet in his backpack, and then grabbed one of the miniguns, and started firing. "Yo dude, what the fuck!" I scolded him. Then I stopped. Lemongrab's screams echoed through the air. Except it wasn't Lemongrab. It was his clones. "Done," Justin said. I ran to the window. Those 20 clones who were firing bows now lay riddled with arrows all over the ground, dead. Suddenly, a loud scream echoed through the building, and the door which Justin locked suddenly was kicked violently. Justin abruptly threw the C4 charge on the floor, and jumped out of the window. As soon as I jumped out, I saw a clone break through the door with a battleaxe drawn. _They have battleaxes now? Not good. _I jumped out of the window, following Justin.

"Ugh!" I grunted as I hit the ground. I wasn't exactly a butterfly when it comes to falling, and I rolled over to my side. Suddenly, **BOOM!** The whole second floor exploded, and a clone was sent flying out of the window. He had charred skin, and was motionless. I could hear the Banana Guards cheering. Panting, I got up. "Dude, that shit hurt," I groaned. He got up too, and nodded. Cyborg and another Banana Guard trotted up to us. "AWESOME JOB!" He congratulated us. We both agreed to that. Then suddenly, an arrow flew past us and hit the other Banana Guard. He crumpled to the ground instantly. Justin spun around and shot at our attacker. The clone pulled the arrow out of his throat, and started to stumble towards us, until he collapsed onto the ground, making a small hacking sound before dying. "Let's keep moving," Justin suggested.

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I moved to the left as the clone lunged at me. I abruptly brought down my sword on his arm. The clone screamed in agony, and I then kicked him hard onto the ground, and kept swinging. A clone to my right stopped sprinting as the arrow hit him in the heart. He fell backwards immediately. I engaged in a sword fight with a clone for several seconds, before punching him in the face and hacking at his neck. I spun around the dead clone and used him as a shield as a yellow arrow hit the dead clone. With a huge amount of effort, I whipped Dawnbreaker at the archer. It passed clean through his throat, and his head fell and rolled across the ground. I gagged. That's _disgusting._ I threw down my "shield" and retrieved Dawnbreaker. The whole blade was splattered with blood. Then I heard footsteps. When they got close, I dodged to the right and countered the sword attack. We were swinging the same way. So I juked him. I pretended to swing left, but instead spun around and stabbed the ride side of his stomach. He gasped for air, and then went limp. "We're getting outnumbered!" I heard a Banana Guard yell, followed by a scream in pain. I growled and started fighting more violently. "Heeey, brother!" I hollered. "Do you still believe in one another?" I dodged an arrow. "Heeey Sister, do you still believe in love, I wonder?" I yelled as I hacked away at an archer. I ducked as three arrows flew over my head. I stuck a clone in the gut, and then started to spin around swinging my sword. It created a stamina-taking forcefield, spraying blood everywhere. When I stopped, I was on top of corpses. Then I saw Lemongrab, staring at me at the top of his stupid balcony. I glared at him, panting. The blood of his clones was all over my clothes. Arrows and sword slices had left a cut on my arm and a small nick of blood under my eye. I wiped some blood off of my arm, and didn't break eye contact. I rolled up my hoodie sleeves. I pointed an index finger at him, and motioned downward, signaling three words: _You're going down._ I signified it by parrying a clone's attack, seizing him by the throat, taking out a dagger, and gouging his eye out. It was a gory and very shocking display of hatred, and it disgusted me. It was absolutely gross. I dropped the dead clone in disgust, and stared up at Lemongrab. He wasn't there. Then I heard a female voice cry from somewhere within the castle. "No, Lemongrab! S-Stop it! AH!" That voice belonged to Princess Bubblegum. "Through the castle!" I yelled at the other guards. They heard the cry too, and started charging towards yelling in fury. "REVOLUTION!" Justin screamed, charging next to me. The doors burst open. Lemongrab's archers tried desperately to kill us. They took down a couple guards, but were soon overrun. There were a large amount of clones toting swords, and a bloody battle engaged. Using hand-to-hand combat, I easily disarmed a clone, flipped him over my back, and plunged Dawnbreaker into his stomach. I kicked his head violently, and he stopped moving. To my right, I saw Justin raise his crossbow, and shoot a clone at point-blank range. I had killed at least 5 more clones before the rest of them were killed. Blood and corpses littered the room. Whatever clones were still breathing were trampled as we rushed towards a large wooden door at the end of a wide hallway. But clones with turrets were waiting. They shot us down, shooting arrows at everyone. Justin landed a lucky hit and killed one of the gunners. Sooner or later, the clone ran out of ammo. He screamed in terror as I rushed towards him. "Lemongrab...will...PREVAIL!" He screamed at me as I picked him up. "Unless I kill him," I responded, and tossed the clone out of a window, where he hit the ground hard and didn't move.

A ton of Banana Guards were killed by the rapid-firing turrets. About 70 guards were still breathing. "Cyborg, on me. The rest of you, call for evacuation and take out any stragglers," I ordered. Justin smirked, and loaded his crossbow. The guards complied, and Finn and Jake grudgingly followed them after saying that the guards needed to be babysat. Cyborg frowned at this comment, and then the three of us turned, and looked at the door. "On three, I said. Cyborg readied his sword. Justin aimed his crossbow.  
"One."

"Two."

"Three!"

We all gave solid kicks at the door. It easily gave way, and we moved in, Justin still with his crossbow raised. There were two clones waiting to intercept us; They were soon on the ground with slash marks all over their stomach. Then suddenly, _clap. Clap. Clap._ Lemongrab stood clapping, with a handcuffed and gagged Marceline and Princess Bubblegum behind him. 4 archers stood at his side, bows raised. "Congratulations for killing all of my clones. It would seem that _you_ are still alive," Lemongrab said, pointing at me. I glared at him. "Anyways, you are far too late. Now you "heroes" get to witness your unacceptable friends die." At that, Lemongrab motioned with his hand, and the archers focused their arrows on PB and Marceline. But it didn't quite work like that. Justin shot one of the clones in the head, and the other 3 focused their attention on all three of us. They missed due to our quick dodging, and Justin put an arrow in two others, and I managed to successfully whip a shuriken I had found on a clone during the fighting into the final archer's throat. Lemongrab did a slow clap again, but this time he had a crossbow in his hand. He shot an arrow, which pierced Cyborg in the stomach. He gasped and fell back. "Cyborg!" I exclaimed. "Go on...just get the girls..." He coughed out. I nodded, and charged towards Lemongrab in anger. I put all my hatred and sadness into a single punch, and he fell to the ground and curled up in a ball. I spat on him. Then I took a key from his pocket, and unlocked Marceline's handcuffs and ungagged her. I kissed her on the lips and hugged her. Then I tossed the key to Justin. He unlocked PB's handcuffs, and she responded in anger. "**WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME?!**" She screamed. "H-Huh?" Justin said, confused. "You're so...STUPID!" Princess Bubblegum yelled, and pushed him towards Lemongrab. Lemongrab had recovered and now held a twisted dagger. Justin fell at his feet, and he grinned evilly. Then he plunged the twisted dagger into the left side of Justin's chest. Princess Bubblegum laughed and smiled.

"NO!" I screamed, and punched Lemongrab. I picked him up and threw him out of a nearby window. He laughed, and pulled a parachute I hadn't noticed. I watched him float away. Then I turned. Princess Bubblegum now looked shocked.  
"Justin!" I yelled. I dove towards my best friend, who was rapidly bleeding now. Justin's body was limp and his normally tan skin was paling. "Isn't that it, Princess?" He croaked. "I'm just your problem, huh?! AREN'T I?" He yelled. Marceline looked shocked now. He then let his head fall backwards. "No..Not now buddy...You..you'll be fine..." I promised him. "Chris...thanks again for being a perfect..a...a perfect best friend," He repeated. Same thing as he said in the clearing. "See you on the other side," He told me, and his eyes closed. Tears formed in my eyes. He still had a pulse. A very, very weak pulse. But it was there. I looked up to Princess Bubblegum, and uttered one word to her.

"_Monster._"

And then Finn and Jake burst in, and then panicking, and then ambulances. I saw the ambulance holding my two best friends, Cyborg and Justin, drive away towards the Candy Kingdom. Then I turned to Princess Bubblegum. "Are you happy now?" I asked her. "ARE YOU HAPPY?!"

* * *

I now sat overlooking a lake. How peaceful. No blood. No swords. No violence. Fireflies flickered. Doctor Princess called and said Justin would be ok, and that they would hope for the best. They always say that. Letting out a sigh, I dove into the lake. It was December 10th, and the lake water was cold. But it wasn't to me. I swam around, and then I crawled onshore, and fell asleep. _Come on, Chris. Man the fuck up._ _He's gonna be ok, stop worrying._ But I didn't. I worried about him all night long.

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Thanks for reading a super duper long chapter of Chris the Human. This chapter was violent, to say the least. We have possible OC deaths here, and Lemongrab's threat may or may not be over. I NEED your suggestions for next chapter, especially the fates of the OC's. I decide to give this to you, so you can shape the story. Tell me who you want to live or die, and that will affect the story. Thanks!


	34. Chapter 34: The Mountain

"Sometimes mortals can be more horrible than monsters." -Rick Reordan

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The day was stormy. Raindrops fell slowly. I just walked through the Candy Kingdom. I needed to go to the hospital. I needed to visit them. Then a voice echoed across the empty streets. "Chris!" It called. I turned slowly, and saw Princess Bubblegum running over here. I glared. _Monster_. "Chris, I need to tell you something!" She panted. "I'm sorry for what I did. Justin didn't 'like like' me, so I got angry. I..I'm sorry," She explained. "So you almost KILLED MY FRIEND BECAUSE HE DIDN'T..._FUCKING_ LIKE YOU?!" I screamed at her in anger. She slowly nodded. "You are a fucking monster," I told her. "Wait, Chris..." She tried to say. I turned and started running towards the hospital.

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

Cyborg's monitor slowly beeped. He inhaled, and exhaled. Doctor Princess said he'll be fine in a couple of days. After patting the sleeping Banana Guard's arm, I slowly got up and went to check on Justin, 4 rooms down. An oxygen mask covered his face, and a white blanket covered him from the waist down. His chest was bandaged. "Damn it Justin...why do you always get hurt?" I asked the sleeping human. A single tear rolled down my cheek. Doctor Princess had called me an hour ago and informed me that the dagger Lemongrab stabbed him with was poisoned. _Fucking great._ Poor guy...he's been through so much misery. Maybe I should ask the doctor to- I shook the thought from my head. "Chris..." A voice called from across the room. Princess Bubblegum. I ignored her. Justin opened his eyes, and they darted around the room. When they rested on PB, he glared. Then he shifted his eyes to me. It was less of a glare, and more of a spark. He uttered a single word, and then his eyes lost all emotion and he passed out. Even with the oxygen mask, I could hear what he said. That word was a final task for me, one that I will fulfill. "Katahdin." That was what he said. "What's that?" Princess Bubblegum asked, referring to the word. I shoved past her, and start to walk down the hall. My pace sped up, and then I broke into a sprint. I pushed open the hospital doors, and kept running, running all the way to the Tree Fort.

Mount Katahdin is a mountain in Maine, the tallest at that. Well when Justin first came to Ooo, while walking we spotted a mountain that looked almost identical to it. We obviously couldn't measure the height, but it looked pretty much the same. And I need to climb it. For him. I unzipped my backpack, and took out a small bag. It held a ton of gold coins. I quickly jotted down a note to Finn and Jake who said they were fighting some Golems, and darted out the door. I suddenly stopped as I saw a beautiful sight in front of me. A pure white horse neighed and got up on its hind legs for a moment, and then got back on all fours. I slowly walked towards the horse. "Hey buddy..." I said to the horse as I stroked its mane.

**1 HOUR LATER**

I let out a sigh as the horse didn't kick me off. I had been going at it for like 50 minutes. The other 10 were devoted to getting horse equipment, which were buried under the huge mountain of gold coins in the stash. "I think I'll call you...Shadowmere," I told the white horse. I'm not sure why I'm naming a white horse 'Shadowmere,' but Shadowmere is my favorite horse from any video game of all time, so I guess that makes sense. I pulled at the reins, and my new horse started to gallop towards the direction of the Fire Kingdom. It started raining, and I just ducked my head down. My hair was getting wet, but I squinted and kept riding. At the entrance of the Fire Kingdom, I got off of Shadowmere, and got out a fire resistance potion that Justin gave to me in exchange for some arrows for his crossbow. I uncapped the potion, and gulped it all down. I belched, and entered the kingdom. I wasn't all blue, but the fire didn't hurt me. PRETTY cool. I strolled through the marketplace while Fire Elementals were calling out various deals. At the end, a silent Fire Elemental relaxed in a stand called 'Fire Alchemy.' I smiled at the Fire Elemental. "Hey, Coal!" I greeted. The Fire Elemental grinned, and we high fived. No burns. Awesome. "So what's it today, Chris?" The alchemist asked. "Eh, I'll take 3 Cold Resistance potions," I requested. Coal reached under the stand, and pulled out three orange-colored potions. "Sell these to the army. We hate the cold. Say, why are you buying these?" Coal pondered. "Climbing a mountain," I responded. Coal and I chatted for a couple moments and then I payed for my potions and left.

The rain was coming down in torrents. Shadowmere galloped rapidly across the Grass Lands. I ignored the Tree Fort and kept galloping. I had left a note, so they'll find out that I'm headed to Katahdin. I traveled for about 40 minutes in the awful rain. My hair and clothes were completely soaked with rain. I stopped at a small cave, and relaxed there. Shadowmere relaxed and lay down on the ground. I stroked the horse's neck gently. Then I heard footsteps. I instantly dove to my backpack and unclipped my bow from it. I drew an arrow from the quiver on my back, and aimed as the footsteps got closer. Then whatever was making the footsteps appeared. Two Lemongrab clones stood in front of the cave, with me being unnoticed.

They were standing side by side and looking out at the entrance of the cave. _How_ did they not notice me? I shrugged. Shadowmere watched silently. I drew back the arrow, aimed it at the clone on the left, and fired. The arrow hit the clone, and he went down. The other clone turned. I drew a dagger that I purchased from the Fire Kingdom, and punched the clone, causing him to drop his sword which I picked up. I threw the clone against the back of the cave, and plunged the dagger into the clone's leg. Ash and smoke appeared, and blood poured out of the clone. "WHERE THE HELL IS HE?" I screamed at the clone. After the clone remained silent, I twisted the dagger. The clone screamed in pain. "He's...at...Castle..." The clone muttered. I decided to end him, and raised the clone's sword, and brought it down hard on his throat. The sword was lodged in the clone's throat, and I left it there. Blood splattered against the wall, and the clone started to make choking sounds. I kicked him in the head, and the blood started to just dribble out of his neck, and he stopped making the sounds. Blood was on the wall, and the clone's entire throat, left shoulder, and chest were coated with blood. Disgusting. I have seen so much blood, it's ridiculous.

I decided to sleep in the cave, and head to Katahdin in the morning. The stars that weren't hidden by the clouds shined brightly. The small fire I constructed from my 3 months in Boy Scouts lit the cave with a soft glow and warmed me and Shadowmere, who slept soundly on the ground. I had removed the two dead clones and placed them in a bush several meters from the cave. Both my knees were propped up, with both my hands draping over them. As I often did, I started to hum a happy song. Then I stopped as something miraculous started to happen. Snow started to come down from the sky.

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Thanks for reading! So in this chapter we get Chris a horse, which is from the Elder Scrolls series (That reference though). Grim news on Justin, and PB attempts to explain what's going about how she basically laughed and smiled when he was stabbed (Which wouldn't have even happened if PB hadn't shoved him). Katahdin is a actual mountain, and it exists. It's basically on the borders of the Ice Kingdom in Ooo. I have taken the votes from the reviews section and Justin's fate will be revealed next chapter or the one after that! BUT there are 3 votes on him being alive, and 3 votes on him dying eventually. I'm kinda torn here. I'll do a coin toss. There, 50/50.

**22Roses: **Your reviews mean something to me. Don't say otherwise. Thanks for the long review, it helps out alot!

**Ryanel: **Chris defeated The Lich in a sense. He's trapped in that ice.


	35. Chapter 35: Delayed Trip

"You can judge a man's true character by the way he treats his fellow animals." -Paul McCartney

* * *

When I woke up, Shadowmere was lying down, but his eyes were open. The fire was out. I got up with a cracking coming from some part of my body, and stretched when I got up on my feet. Shadowmere neighed unhappily. I looked at the horse, who was still lying down. Deciding he was hungry, I unzipped my backpack, and took out one of 5 apples I had packed as some emergency food. I fed my companion an apple, and then looked outside of the cave. There was about 2 inches on the ground. And it was the hard ice. I put my right boot on the ice. My boot slid, and I hit the ground. "Ah, fuck..." I groaned. _This is gonna be a pain._ I took out a bandanna from my pocket, and tied it around my face. Pulling up my hood, I got Shadowmere to his feet, and walked side by side with him out of the cave.

"There it is," I told my horse, looking up at the mountain. Shadowmere looked up in curiosity. Then an arrow flew past my face. _ The fuck? _I turned, and saw a Lemongrab archer wearing a black jacket. He drew another arrow into his bow. I dropped to the ground where the ice hurt me, and he shot at me. It flew past my ear, and hit Shadowmere in the leg. He went down on the snow. "LITTLE SHIT!" I screamed at the clone, and started running at him. I dodged yet another arrow, and jumped onto the clone. He screamed as he hit the ground. "Semper Fi, do or die!" I told the clone, who was struggling. I clamped my hand down on his mouth and chin, and twisted it to the right. I drew out my Fire Dagger, and stabbed the clone's vulnerable throat. He stopped struggling, and the snow was soon stained with wet blood. I took off his leather jacket, and found a note. It read:

_As you know, we were almost defeated by the Princess's efforts and the clone machine was not destroyed. Operation VIP Wipe was assigned to several other clones and yourself. You have been assigned to kill Christopher J. Albano, as we received from Finn the Human and Jake the Dog, who are being held captive currently. End the unacceptable human with a shot to the head. Clones 40, 41, and 42 are currently assigned to your unit. They are backup in the event that you require assistance. Do not fail me. _

_-L_

I crumpled up the letter. Nice job, Lemonjackass, trying to assassinate me. I looked over, and remembered my horse. I sprinted over, and knelt down next to the poor creature. The arrow was still lodged into his leg. I took out a first-aid kit, and looked around. I found a scalpel. How the _fuck_ am I gonna do this? I'm not that good of a medic. I stuck the scalpel into Shadowmere's leg. The horse shook with pain, but was silent. Throughout poking around, I found the arrowhead. I pushed up. Shadowmere whinnied loudly with pain as I made the final push, and the arrow fell onto the bloodstained ground. Shadowmere's formerly-white leg was covered with blood. I took out a bandage and tenderly wrapped the horse's leg after cleaning it with some water I had stored in my backpack. "HALT, CHRIS HUMAN!" A voice screamed. I turned, and 3 clones in chainmail armor stood, silver swords drawn. I wasn't even moving, why would they say halt? I picked up Dawnbreaker from the snowy ground, and held it. "Come at me bro," I told the 3 foes. With a loud scream, they all attacked. I stabbed one of the clones in the throat, retracted the sword, and kicked him backwards. Then I dodged as a clone swung at me. I pretended to swing at his head, then curved and sliced his stomach open. He collapsed onto the ground. I engaged in a rather dramatic sword fight with the final clone. It eventually ended when I got a punch in on him, and then hacked open his arm, killing him instantly. Panting with blood all over my hands, I fell backwards. Killed so many. It's unbelievable. Focusing on helping my horse, I searched one of the clones, who had a duffel bag strapped on his bag. It had several apples, lemon food, and a large blanket. I discarded the lemon food, but fed Shadowmere the apples and covered him with the blanket. I then rested on his back/side, and sighed. I could see Shadowmere's breath. "Why is Lemongrab everywhere? I've spend alot of fucking time in Ooo fighting his clones," I wondered aloud. I let my back fall onto Shadowmere, and closed my eyes. Looks like that mountain climb has to be delayed.

When I awoke, Shadowmere wasn't sleeping, or just hadn't fallen asleep. A blizzard ravaged around us. I was so cold. My fingers and feet were numb, and my arms were so cold that it burned. "C'mon, buddy, get up, we gotta go!" I told Shadowmere, and he obliged by lazily getting up, and shaking his head from side to side. I started to ride through the snow on my steed. The galloping of Shadowmere's hooves were alot of what I heard. At one point, the wind and snow hurt me so much I fell off Shadowmere. I grunted in pain as I hit my head. I had lost urge to go on. _Just kill me. Kill me please, Lord. End this misery. _But no. God decided to save me. Shadowmere kept put for a couple seconds, and then clamped a hoof on my hood. Shadowmere started to gallop with my hood snagged on his hoof. "Good horse," I croaked as snow entered my mouth and I coughed. My head kept bumping into Shadowmere's leg, and it hurt, but at least I was with my horse. Surprised he can run this fast. Soon Shadowmere stopped galloping and resorted to a trot until we got to the Tree Fort, where I stood up, and Shadowmere stopped moving. After putting him in the Entrance Room, I went up to the Kitchen, where Finn and Jake were awaiting. "Um. Hey man. Enjoy your mountain?" Jake asked, who was reading some sort of cookbook. Finn napped on the couch. I shivered. "Here, I'll get you a blanket," He said. Jake retrieved a blanket from the bedroom, and soon I was sipping on some hot cocoa. "What's that clopping noise?" He asked. I smiled. "Horse I found," I told him. "Oh man, that's sweet!" Jake exclaimed. "Can't wait till we see that!" I sipped on some more hot cocoa. Apparently the clones Lemongrab sent for Finn and Jake were completely terminated except for one, who is in the dungeon.

That night, I thought about all the humans that I didn't think had died. Lily. Simon. My friend Jordan. Wow, I miss Jordan. He made airsoft wars worth it. Justin said that he saw Jordan in a neighboring town of ours, Sherborn, overpower and kill 3 bandits who threatened him. Not sure how he turned out. Odds are he's still alive. I let out a sigh, closed my eyes, yawned, and fell asleep.

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Thanks for reading! Follow, Favorite, and Review please! I have decided that Justin won't die. He's too much of an important character. Tell me what you think of Shadowmere the horse. Leave suggestions for next chapter! I appreciate the reviews and feedback!

**gamelover45192: **I didn't make her go crazy. She just got pissed because Justin wasn't in love with her.

**Jlyman: **That thought goes a long way for the story. Thanks for reviewing and becoming a loyal follower to the story!


	36. Chapter 36: Zombies

"The human body must take some dilemma with some aspect of humor." -Unknown

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Justin had healed eventually, but I hadn't. I have seen so much for a kid my age. I'm not the same Chris Albano. A 15-year-old should not be mercilessly killing a cartoon character's clones. I sank down in the couch while Justin and Finn observed me and talked amongst themselves. Jake had gone to Princess Bubblegum to "get me fixed." Whatever that meant. I kept thinking of the day before, when my horse was shot and I killed 4 Lemongrab clones without mercy. Two days ago, I could have spared that clone's life. But no. I drove my sword into his throat, where he met his end. _They're bad. It's ok. You were protecting yourself. It's ok. _I told myself. Suddenly Justin stopped talking to Finn, and put something in my palm. It was my necklace I gave to him with a sticky note attached to it. "You can do dis," It read. I couldn't help but crack a smile. Finn held his hand out for a high five. I gladly slapped his palm in return. Justin and Finn had wide grins on their faces. I got up off the couch, stretching. At the moment, Princess Bubblegum came up the ladder. "Hello Chris!" She greeted. I looked at her with a wide smile. The princess looked confused, almost terrified that I was smiling at her. Not that my smile was creepy. It was just a normal one.

"I've forgiven you for what you've done," I informed PB. Now she burst into a smile. At one point, BMO came running, laughing happily across the room, then dove down the ladder. I looked at Finn. He shrugged. "I should also inform you that Lemongrab and most of his clones have been imprisoned," Princess Bubblegum told me. "Good," I said. "I've also been working on a new serum that can bring the Candy Dead to life. Can you accompany me to my lab?" She asked. The 4 of us agreed nervously. Considering that she has done this two times before, this time can't be good. I didn't bring Dawnbreaker, instead my Fire Dagger, in the event things went terribly wrong. Princess Bubblegum used the Morrow to get to the Candy Kingdom while Finn rode on an enlarged Jake. Justin and I took Shadowmere. "Awesome horse, bro!" He yelled as my steed stampeded across the Grass Lands.

Obviously Princess Bubblegum got to the Candy Kingdom before we did. But we could still hear her scream in terror as we arrived. "Oh shit," Justin muttered. I jumped off my horse, and Jake shrunk down to normal size. "Move, move, move!" I told the other 3. Justin took out his crossbow and his boots hit the ground as he trotted. What we saw was revolting. Undead Candy People moaned and strolled the streets. "Zambies," Justin noted. All 4 of us crouched. "Okay," I whispered. "We're gonna charge." Justin nodded, gripping his crossbow with fingerless gloves. Taking out a flare gun and placing it in my right hand, I held up my left hand with 3 fingers up. I silently let one finger another. Finally, I let down my 3rd finger. "CHARGE!" I yelled as we rushed in. Finn and Jake started heading to Princess Bubblegum's tower, where the science lab should be. I aimed the flare gun at the sky, and pulled the trigger. With _pssht_, the flare shot into the sky. Justin and I sprinted into the castle and kept moving until we got to the surveillance room. Justin cursed, discovering it was locked, and I heard the sound of lockpicks going into a lock. I turned, and a huge horde of undead Candy People slumped their way towards me. _This is just great._ I grabbed a hutch and tipped it over, blocking the Candy Zombies from entering. I put another flare into the gun. "Got it!" Justin exclaimed. The door opened, and we both rushed in. I closed the door, trotting to the cameras. There wasn't any blood or anything within the room. Just emptiness. I heard zombies hitting the castle floor as they tumbled idiotically over the hutch I tipped over. Justin blocked the door with his back. "How's it going, bro?" Justin asked, slightly frantic. "Not good..." I replied. Most of the cameras showed Candy Zombies stumbling about. Suddenly, I heard pounding. "W-What do we do now?!" Justin panicked. I was mid-way though my answer when a hand broke a hole in the door and grabbed Justin by the throat. A robot hand. Cyborg. The zombified Banana Guard pulled Justin, and the door started to give way. Justin started screaming in terror as more hands seized him. "Justin, no!" I yelled as a final grasp pulled him through as the door broke. A bloody human hand grasped onto the shards of the broken door for help, but soon the horde of undead finished him and the hand went limp. The rest of the horde started to move into the security room. Led by an undead, growling Justin. I drew the fire dagger. "For Justin," I muttered quietly, and with a loud war cry, I started to combat the horde.

_Finn's P.O.V._

Even from the lab we could hear Justin scream. Jake looked spooked. Princess Bubblegum looked startled. "They got Justin," I said into the silent room. Then Chris was screaming. But not in terror, or pain, but...angrily. "What the byork is going on down there?" Jake asked. A very faint voice yelled, "I'm taking you down with me!" P-Bubs winced at this. Jake closed his eyes in sorrow. After several moments of silence, PB said, "Okay, let's...let's continue." Jake looked towards the door and nodded sadly. So we need to combat Justin and Chris, as zombies. And they're both pretty good fighters and can resist a ton of damage. Unless the princess comes up with a cure. Which is unlikely because she failed twice already. Not to burst your bubble, Bubblegum. Nonetheless, she kept working with weird mumbo jumbo chemicals. Soon there was banging on the door. Rapid banging. "Let me in!" A voice called. "One of the subjects!" Princess Bubblegum exclaimed. Jake opened it, and Chris tumbled in, panting. There were scratches on his face, and a drop of blood fell from his nose. His pants had a red handprint on them. We all stood staring at him, mouths agape. "Not infected..." He coughed. "Not infected." With this, he dropped onto the ground, and his eyes slowly faded out.

"I've inspected him. No bites," Princess Bubblegum confirmed as she headed back to her lab. Chris let out a sigh of relief, and then walked to the door, and started covering it. "Justin?" I asked curiously. "Infected," Chris responded. Then banging. And not a single person banging. Multiple bangs on the door. "Found us," Jake said grimly. Chris drew out a orangish dagger and held it towards the door. Princess Bubblegum suddenly cried, "Hooray! I found a serum!" Jake looked at her, and then focused on the door. She took out a beaker and placed them into bottles, then loaded them into gun, looking things with syringes at the end, and then handed them to the three of us. Chris opened the door, and a zombie Starchy tackled him and he fell onto the ground, screaming. He punched the zombie in the face, and shot a small dart with a red cross on it into the undead's neck. Starchy poofed into normal, then panicked and ran into the corner. All 4 of us were firing zombie-curing darts into the horde. At one point, a zombie Banana Guard grabbed me by the leg, and chopped into my skin. I screamed in terror. THIS IS MAD FREAKY. Suddenly the Banana Guard was kicked off of my leg, and Chris shot it. He then shot me in the leg. The bite mark suddenly disappeared. My fellow human helped me up. Within an hour, the whole kingdom was cured. Finally, a zombified Justin stumbled into the room where we went to study some science biz. Chris sighed, and aimed his gun at Zombie Justin's head. It clicked. Empty. In anger, Chris dropped the gun, grabbed a syringe from the table, and plunged it into Justin's neck like a knife. Soon, the zombie turned into a human. Justin pulled the syringe from his neck. "Dude, chill," He told Chris.

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Sorry about being late! So in this chapter I (and alot of my reviewers, apparently) got sick of Lemongrab. I admit, it was just lemons, lemons, lemons. I felt like a healing/forgiving chapter with a new threat was needed, so here you go. I thought about adding in a new OC next story. He's not human, but a humanoid Banana Guard, similar to Braco, if you know that episode. Determine the name in the comments below, and I will see you next chapter!

**Guest: **I'll fix the gruesome part, but Chris just swears on his own. Nothing really can be done about it. He, as a person, will naturally swear.

**Jlyman: **Thought about it, but it doesn't seem to add up, as the world was pretty intact and not destroyed when the fanfiction started, and basically the Ice King, or the former Simon, was at least in his 20s-30s when the war started, and this Simon is just 15. Simon's real name is Simon Leone. *The More You Know*

**gamelover45192: **Thanks!


	37. Chapter 37: Blizzard

"This too shall pass." -Famous Saying

* * *

Ironically, I was humming 'Here Comes The Sun' by the Beatles as Finn and I trekked through the ice-cold blizzard. The cold cut right through my T-Shirt, hoodie, and winter jacket. The dog tags I had found in a forest clanged through my layers of clothing as I put my boot through the foot-deep snow. The wind knocked Finn down, and I half fell, half ran to pick him up. "Dude, this stinks," He complained. "Yeah, I know," I agreed as I grabbed his hand. With a grunt, I pulled him up, adding, "Candy Kingdom's probably the Snow Kingdom by now." _Boy, Ice King would love that._

As I had predicted, almost all of the Candy Kingdom was covered with snow. Whatever wasn't numb burned from the cold. That's kinda funny, how it can be so cold that you have a burning feeling. As Finn and I started to head to PB's castle, he suddenly fell over in the snow.

"Finn!" I exclaimed as I ran towards him. "Yo, what happened to Finn?!" Jake asked as he ran up to us. Justin, with a bandanna over his lower face, was behind him, his eyes bitter from the blizzard. "Cold," I responded as all Jake and I picked him up. Justin ran to a nearby house and started banging on the door. Soon, it opened, and he motioned for us to bring Finn in. After we lifted the unconscious human and put him on a table, I started to observe the homeowner. He was a humanoid Banana Guard, similar to Braco. He had grey pants, and his black T-Shirt sported a greyish line running through it (Like Braco). A small scar was visible on his chin. "Snow get him?" The humanoid asked, nodding his head to Finn. I flashed a thumbs-up sign, and collapsed onto a white chair. Justin took off his bandanna. After a half hour, Finn recovered. Since the blizzard had gotten worse, all 4 of us made the decision to wait it out. Justin had complained he was tired, and the humanoid showed him to a guest room. After returning, Finn pondered, "Man, you have a cool house. What do you have?" "Co-Leader of the Banana Guard, Leader of the army," He responded. From what I learned in History and Geography, I thought the leader of the civilization was in charge of the army. Eh, guess not. "So you fought in the Lemongrab Battles?" I asked. "That I did," He responded. Hm. He seems like a more sophisticated Banana Guard, but he's a humanoid. Perhaps humanoid Banana Guards are...more intelligent? "What's your name?" I asked. "I'm Marshall," He responded. Marshall. I noticed that a pair of dog tags hung around his neck, and a silver sword with a grip on the handle was hung up on a wall. As Finn and Jake eagerly discussed with Marshall, I slowly let my eyes droop, and then suddenly, I fell asleep.

When I woke up, I was still slumped on the chair arm. Moonlight flooded through a window, as did the silhouettes of snowflakes slowly falling. My watch read 4:30. Finn and Jake were nowhere to be found. Marshall was on a couch next to me, eyes open. "How did you get that scar?" I asked. "Clone cut me," He responded. "Got me in the second battle. Rushed to help Starchy, and he turned and cut me. He aimed for my throat. That clone is no longer among the living," He told me. Now it was his turn to ask. "What happened to your unit?"

"First battle, a lemon hit our group after we successfully nailed a ton of clones. That seemed to kill everyone but me. As it turned out, one Banana Guard had survived, upon I had nicknamed Smiley because of some scratches in our unit helmet. In the second battle, I, accompanied with Smiley and a specially designed Gumball Guardian, served as an archery unit once again. Several catapults finished off our Gumball Guardian, who indirectly killed a turret gunner and shot one of my unit members. Eventually, we were numbered to 3. Smiley, me, and a guard I named Wall-E. Wall-E took control of a turret, but a giant lemon hit us. Wall-E amputated his arm because it was mangled in the destroyed turret. Smiley and I kept fighting, and eventually, when it was all over, Lemongrab charged with a sword. Smiley took the blow, and he died in the hospital the next day."

Marshall let out a sigh. "Sorry to hear that," He said. "And for the guard who amputated his arm?" "He made it. He's the one with the robot arm. Named him Cyborg." Marshall's face lit up with recognition. "He's a good fighter. Be proud to have him as a friend," Marshall told me. I stared out the window. Suddenly, a figure darted past. Marshall saw it too. He got up in his chair. "Sword. Now," He said. I dashed to the wall, picked up his sword, and tossed it to him. I picked up Justin's crossbow and an arrow from the kitchen counter, and opened the door. The figure was hooded, and was running rapidly towards Princess Bubblegum's castle. I loaded the arrow into the crossbow, aimed, and fired. The arrow flew and hit the figure in the back, and he went down. Marshall and I darted towards him. Whoever we shot had left a trail of blood, and was still crawling towards the castle. Marshall kicked the figure over, and we saw it. The figure had his lower face covered and wore goggles, but the symbol of the Assassin's Guild was on the figure's coat. I seized him by the throat, and we brought him into Marshall's home. Upon unmasking him, it was revealed to be a cat-like humanoid. Like Me-Mow, but more human-like. We both held him by the shoulders while we interrogated him.

"Who are you?"

"I am Throat-Slit, second-class...assassin to the GOA."

Throat-Slit. That is not a very trustworthy title. I took out my fire dagger, but did not harm him. "Why are you here?" Marshall asked. Throat-Slit chuckled. "To kill the princess," He responded before chuckling some more. "Not likely," I said before punching him in the face hard. The assassin looked stunned, and Marshall got up and dialed a number on his phone. Within minutes, 4 Banana Guards and Root Beer Guy were in his house, leading the assassin to the dungeon for later questioning. "Good job, Marshall," Root Beer Guy said. Nodding at me, he also added, "You too, Chris the Human." I nodded, and then he left. The snow suddenly started to come down faster as I looked outside the window.

* * *

Thanks for reading an important chapter in Chris the Human! So here we have a new OC, Marshall, who I've designed artwork for him in the style of the show's type of animation. I think that next chapter, some stealth will be involved. Give some more suggestions for following chapters and I will see you then!

**Goth-Girl-Surana: **I'll cut down on the foul language, and add in cursing in the description.

**Ryanel: **Thanks for the suggestion! Now there is an OC in this story named after your suggestion! :O


	38. Chapter 38: Rock Golems and Assassins

"No one ever approaches perfection except by stealth, and unknown to themselves." -William Hazlitt

* * *

All 4 of us were staring. "Damn," Justin commented. "That thing is ugly." I looked at him, then focused my attention back on the Rock Golem. It was like a giant stone tiki with chains of boulders acting as arms and legs. Justin had his crossbow raised, Finn had his Demon Blood Sword out, I had Dawnbreaker raised, and Jake had a giant fist as his weapon. "BLUCK APLWAY!" The golem screamed at us. "B...Back away?" I asked, confused. "BWAAAAAAAAA!" The Rock Golem screamed, and started to move towards us. Justin shot an arrow from his crossbow. It stuck in the Rock Golem, but didn't do anything. I swung my blade at the Rock Golem as he came close. The Rock Golem responded by seizing Justin and flinging him towards one of the cave walls. He rolled onto the hard ground, not moving. With a mighty war cry, all 3 of us charged forward. Jake was able to literally rip off the golem's arm and throw it. Finn and I scampered up his leg. Unfortunately, near the waist, the golem started to shake in an attempt to get us off of him. I drew out a grappling hook, and fired. It hit the golem in his left eye. Dust poured out as he howled in anger. Finn fell off, and I grabbed him. My arm was throbbing, it hurt so much. I clamped down on my lip in pain. When I was at the golem's chest, he tried to seize us two. He got Finn before Jake punched his head off with the huge fist. The golem toppled over, covering a part of the cave. I hit the ground hard when I fell, and I was wheezing because the breath was knocked out of me. Finn was clutching his leg in pain. Justin still had his eyes closed, and blood was visible on his clothing. _Probably hit something sharp._ Then suddenly, a bunch of masked people appeared at the entryway to the cave. Finn and Jake looked on as they stood, silent, swords drawn. "We're here to kill you. No contract, just revenge. For imprisoning Throat-Slit," one of them said. Wheezing, with aches all over me, I slowly crawled towards Dawnbreaker, about 10 feet away. "Hey, that one's trying to get his sword!" An assassin cried. "Get them!"

Jake, with his fist still enlarged, punched one assassin as he charged at him with a katana. The assassin fell to the ground. I got up on my feet, and picked up the katana. "Take care of Justin and Finn," I told Jake. "But..." He started. "Now!" I firmly commanded. Jake silently-and solemnly- agreed. There were 3 other foes who ran at me. I ducked as he swung, and stabbed the masked assassin's leg, and punched him backwards. The one afterwards threw shurikens at me. One of them whizzed past my ear, and some blood fell onto the ground. I easily dispatched him with a hard slice to the neck. The last one tried to cut me open with a sword. I tackled him, and punched him in the face. "Tell your order...TO NEVER BOTHER US AGAIN!" I screamed at the wounded assassin. "I hope Death kills you," He said before spitting in my face. Then he attacked me and pinned me to the ground. He continuously beat me in the face, and then took out a dagger. Before he could kill me, an arrow pierced through his head. The assassin slumped on me. I gagged at the disgusting sight, and quickly threw off the dead body. I looked over, and Justin stood with a crossbow in one hand, his other applying pressure to his stomach. Then he collapsed. "Justin!" I yelled and darted towards him. His eyelids were drooping. "I think I'm hurt," He said half-hardheartedly before chuckling quietly. I looked at the 4 dead assassins. I sighed. More killing. Jake had Finn cradled in his enlarged arms. I picked up Justin, and we darted out of the cave as the freezing snow hit our cheeks.

**.**

**.**

**.**

"God, this weather sucks," Justin noted as he looked out the window before slightly touching his bandaged chest. "I had NO idea," Finn said sarcastically. Jake and I didn't do anything as I studied our current game of Card Wars. BMO looked at me disapprovingly. After another intense hour of the game, Jake won. He made it obvious to everyone too. I laughed as he did some weird spiral dance. I decided to snoop around in my backpack for whatever I had collected. There was a helmet that looked a little bit like a skull. "Hey," Justin observed. "That's like the Tribal Helmet from Hexxit." That was true. Hexxit is a mod pack for a game, and, well, the tribal helmet's awesome. I donned it. It fit perfectly, no obstructed vision. I grinned, although it wasn't visible. "I think I just found my new helmet," I said. Finn flashed the thumbs up sign. I took off the helmet. Justin, obviously bored, went into the bedroom and took out a guitar, and was strumming lightly. I sighed, and let my body fall across the couch. I closed my eyes, and soon dozed off.

When I awoke, it was night. Snow was still rapidly falling. Justin was sleeping on a sleeping back next to the couch. Jake loudly snored from the bedroom. I tried to get up, but a sharp pain hit my left arm. "W..What the?" I stuttered, looking at my wounded arm. I clean cut, red slash ran horizontally across my arm. Several droplets of blood fell from it. I couldn't do anything, but pass out due to my already groggy nature and that the cut was taking its toll on me. _God, this...fucking hurts... _I thought as I rolled down my hoodie sleeve to keep from making a mess.

* * *

Thanks for reading! I was terribly wrong on my guess last chapter, no stealth. Next chapter will have a Christmas feel to it, we'll have some singing. Of course, it will be released on Christmas, so I guess you guys and gals get another present! _I just want to thank you all for 80 reviews!_ That is amazing! When I first started posting, I had thought my fanfiction/story was cool, but I was terrified that I wouldn't get attention and all my hard word wouldn't get noticed. But here I am, 22 followers, 80 reviews, and over 8,000 story reads. In just 2 months! In particular, I would like to thank Jlyman, lilaclilly00, gamelover45192, and Ryanel for giving me constant reviews and suggestions. Every single person who comments, follows, or favorites is helping me out though. So thank you all for that awesome amount of reviews!

**Jlyman: **Heck yeah, there will!

**DonutDemon30: **Thanks for keeping track of that stuff, as well as complimenting my story! I am indeed working heavily on the wiki, and I'm not sure when I'll open it up to the public, but I know that when I do, it will be included after reviewer-directed comments.

**SimplyaCritic: **Thank you. The person who passed was my grandfather, and I hope as well that he's resting in peace.


	39. Chapter 39: Cheer

"Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas." -Calvin Coolidge

* * *

I rubbed the bandage on my arm. Not sure what happened, whether some assassin tried to kill me slowly in the night or it was the fight at the cave, but nothing was really damaged, just the skin was cut. I walked through the Candy Kingdom. The blizzard had stopped, so that's good. Finn was walking next to me. "You gonna sing, homie?" Finn asked, as he brushed some snow off of the sweater of "liking someone a lot." Well, I mean, that's a pretty good definition for the friendzone. "Mm hmm," I replied, observing a icicle fall from a house and hit a Banana Guard, who then panicked and ran into a trash can. We both laughed. Suddenly, a snowball hit Finn in the chest. I looked over to see Jake and Justin, holding snowballs. "Oh, they did not just do that," I commented. I picked up some snow (which I might add, was the perfect type of snow for snowballs. Snow in Ooo is awesome), made it into a ball, and tossed it. "THIS IS WAR!" Jake declared, and a snowball war was engaged. Within minutes, two forts were set up. Since I was pretty good at launching projectiles at people, I nailed Jake almost all the time. Justin stood up, ready to throw a snowball, when he was pelted with dozens of small snowballs. He looked stunned. Justin's facial expression was, quite frankly, hilarious. Suddenly, those snowballs pelted Finn as well. "Oh, damn!" I exclaimed and dropped down. I peeked over and saw Princess Bubblegum wielding some weapon that looked like those ball shooters in a toy store. And on her back, a tank full of snow. _Great job, PB. Using science to dominate a snowball war, _I thought, as her snowball shooter broke through our weak fort. A medium sized snowball hit me in the chest. "I'm hit, I'm hit!" I yelled, and stumbled into the open pretending like I was shot, clutching my chest in pain. As a grand finale was happening with _my _fake death, another snowball hit me in the cheek. I spun around, and fell onto the ground. The 5 of us laughed. Jake was starting to run towards me with a huge boulder of snow when someone yelled, "SMOKESCREEN!" and he was showered with that powdery snow that you can't make snowballs with or step in. Jake dropped the boulder on himself. I stared over to see Marshall grinning, with a shovel in his hands. "Oh, das confuzzling," Justin said. I grinned. "Lily?" I asked with a questioning voice. "Shut up," Justin told me, even though he was a smiling. "JUSTIN. Saying shut up is a prob," I scolded him, referencing another one of Lily's usual dialogue. A snowball hit my ear.

I sipped on my hot cocoa as Marceline, sitting next to me, silently observed Justin strum on his guitar. "Not bad, dork," Marceline commented, before taking his guitar and preforming an awesome instrumental. Justin responded by grouchily eating a ton of marshmallows. Justin's light strumming was an embarrassment compared to Marceline's instrumental. As Marceline snuggled closer to me, Justin showed the devil horns to me. I took my remaining hot cocoa and dedicated 90% of it to burn Justin, who made the mistake of taking off his coat to reveal a green T-shirt underneath. "You suck," He said before walking off to "F stuff up." _God knows what his plans are. _I focused my attention back to what was going on, and relaxed. Finn and Jake were planning something called 'The Great Snowball War,' and Princess Bubblegum was rambling on about how she made a serum to save the Candy Kingdom. Even though she kinda almost caused an apocalypse three times, nobody wanted to burst her bubble. I kissed Marceline slightly on the cheek, and then thought about how cool it would be if I was to ride a flying giraffe. A. Flying. Giraffe. Of all things to think of, you thought of a frickin giraffe with the ability to fly? Good job, Chris. Your imagination is going crazy. Noticing Justin's guitar, an idea popped into my head.

A couple of random Candy People and Justin took the stage. They said that they were, "The bomb," so I had nothing to lose. Justin started to strum on his guitar as the crowd formed around us. Gripping the microphone with sweaty palms, I started to sing:

_Ho, ho, ho..._

_Shake up the happiness_  
_Wake up the happiness_  
_Shake up the happiness_  
_It's Christmas time_

_There was a story that I was told_  
_And I want to tell the world before I get too old_  
_And don't remember it, so let's December it_  
_And reassemble it, oh yeah_

_Once upon a time in a town like this_  
_A little girl made a great big wish_  
_To fill the world full of happiness_  
_And be on Santa's magic list_

_Shake it up, shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_  
_Shake it up, shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_  
_Ho, ho, ho,_  
_Ho, ho, ho,_  
_It's Christmas time_

_At the same time miles away_  
_A little boy made a wish that day_  
_That the world would be okay_  
_And Santa Clause would hear him say_  
_I got dreams and I got love_  
_I got my feet on the ground and family above_  
_Can you send some happiness with my best_  
_To the rest of the people of east and the west_

_And maybe every once in a while_  
_You give my a grandma a reason to smile_  
_'Tis the season to smile_  
_It's cold but we'll be freezing in style_

_And let me meet a girl one day_  
_That wants to spread some love this way_  
_We can let our souls run free_  
_And she can open some happiness with me_

_Shake it up, shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_  
_Shake it up, shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_

_I know you're out there_  
_I hear your reindeer_  
_I see the snow where_  
_Your boots have been_

_I'm gonna show them_  
_So they will know then_  
_Then love will grow and_  
_They believe again_

_Shake it up (shake it up), shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_  
_Shake it up, shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_  
_Ho, ho, ho,_  
_Ho, ho, ho,_  
_It's Christmas time_

_Shake it up, shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_  
_Shake it up, shake up the happiness_  
_Wake it up, wake up the happiness_  
_Come on all, it's Christmas time_

_Ho, ho, ho,_  
_Ho, ho, ho,_  
_Ho, ho, ho,_  
_It's Christmas time_

The crowd erupted into cheer. As we were all beaming with pride, Finn suddenly ran in front of us with Lumpy Space Princess clutching onto his head. Finn tripped and hit the snowy ground. I helped him up as Justin positioned his guitar to look like he was holding a weapon. "Get a clearing, get a clearing!" He yelled as I tried to pry LSP off of Finn's hat. Justin tried to smack her with the guitar, and she started to much on it. "I didn't like that guitar anyways!" Justin cried before dropping it. "Halp...HALP!" I screamed. as several Banana Guards restrained her. As we sat panting, Finn huffed out a thank you. Princess Bubblegum tried to run over to us, but that didn't work and she stumbled at least 4 times. "Princess," I panted as I fell onto the ground. "Never, EVER let me sing when LSP is somewhere within the Candy Kingdom. Please."

* * *

NOTE: After this chapter, I'll be taking a break from Chris the Human to write an apocalypse-type Adventure Time fanfiction. It will include all character from this fanfic and from the show. THIS DOES NOT MEAN I'M DONE WITH CHRIS THE HUMAN. Just taking a break from it. I've been getting kinda bored, and I do best with apocalypse stories.

Merry Christmas to all boys and girls! Sorry, unable to get at a computer yesterday! I don't feel this was my BEST WORK, but it's decent. Eh, some singing here and there, LSP had her love-fest attempt. Leave those suggestions, I appreciate it alot! I was getting kinda bored so I referenced my human character Lily. Next chapter's coming out in 2014, so hang tight 'till then! I'm really starting to enjoy my Marshall character, he's pretty cool. I'll work on a past for him. Until then, R&R, and Follow! Thanks for helping me bring a fanfiction to life!

**Guest: **Could you have said that in...kinder terms?

**gamelover45192: **Yeah, he is. Older brother, to be exact.

**lilaclilly00: **I tried to include your OC a little bit.


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